No Trust
I have been getting some emails lately from guys who seem to genuinely want to get to know me and yet they indirectly tell me that they do not trust me. Why? because as they put it....they feel that I am "out of their league" and that a woman like myself would not be "happy" or loyal to someone like them and eventually I would run or "become bored"....I have had several men ask me how many guys I am dating at once as though they think that I am some sort of player? are they kidding? And when I said I only date one guy at a time they say "no, tell me the truth" ....What?
I couldn't believe what I was reading
I don't see myself this way at all. In fact most of the time I am shy in approaching men because of fear of rejection and here to think there are those who believe that I am somehow full of myself before they even get to know me? 
I don't get it
Comments (19)
Thanks for the interesting thoughts......sometimes it seems we must take a course (or two) in psychology in order to understand each other
parti,
As long as its a "shout out" and not a shout at I guess
Try nowpics with new clotes. Sure would be intresting to see wouldent it? Even for us, your online friends.
Many a person have profilereviws to make no changes whatsoever when peeps sayd their stuff. Consider trying it, as an sosial experiment. If u miss ur old pics u just switch back again.
Two thoughts - One is that are assuming that you are like them ... and apparently they would lie about their dating habits.
The other is that they figure you will immediately compare them to your other prospects and their insecurities came out.
A question for you (and other women here) --- Do you prefer being approached primarily as a potential friend or as a potential romantic partner? (I think men often get this wrong)
Personally I consider it a warning flag when someone makes assumptions about my outlook (rather than asking and learning) or tells me what I'm going to do (they are projecting their outlook on me --- which will add to the misunderstandings in any potential relationship).
Yes --- seems like there should be a course we can take. Perhaps we should create "Lana's Book of Blogs" as a start
1) Do you think this picture i have here now (dark one) do me no good?
2) Do you agree that we read alot into picture (maybe even MORE than a thousand words), and if so should we try fight it?
Or go with the flow. As its a dating site, not a local cafe where we can meet face to face. Blogs is ofc much better. Here we hardly even need a picture, but as to the one on one flower/mails it matters without a dubt. So should we sit "behind the picture" and deny it matter how that picture sends a msg.. or not.
And when you are tired of all the jurks, just call me!
....for some reason, no matter how genuine and honest and whatever I am, girls find it hard to trust me...
I do ask why and never got a decent reply ... something like: cause I have a cheeky look/bad guy look or cause I received a txt at 100am from me sis who wanted a lift from some bar back home is of course no valid explanation...
I came to the conclusion that some people simply have an issue in trusting and will not endeavour whatsoever to correct anythin in me... not me prob ..
sorry to say when someone says your out of their league, they are not vary confident.Were as your are a confident women, you learn the hard way, on your own raising your daughters. If i had
several women asking me the same question how many women I am dating at once,i'd have my red flag pop up, i could understand if we were dating for sometime into the Relationship, not at the start.wish you the best
You know what?? In saying what you have just said I think I understand...seriously weird as this may sound unfortunately for you 10K...you have a certain "look" and by that I don't mean you are bad looking. To the contrary you are good looking but with kind of a "badboy" kind of face.
Maybe this is how guys see me? ....maybe if we get face surgeries we can change how people view us
I lost my fear of rejection on the dance floor. I used to love to go club hopping just to dance and have fun, not go out to score points with women. I remember when asking women to dance many would look at me as if I asked them to go to bed( preconceived idea). All I was interested in was dancing, as I am a very selective person when it comes to intimacy. So, I would ask and ask, until I would get a "YES." I figured out that those that said no, simply missed-out on a good time dancing on the floor, it's that simple.
There are too many people with preconceived ideas and imagine way too many things before they meet people. All that does is make an already difficult thing even harder.
Ask, get to know, and find out for sure I say!
And anyone that says "NO" to you on the dance floor, simply saved you allot of time and hassle in finding out they were not right for you in the first place.
And also..forget all the dating stuff....just make friends...and let the rest take care of itself!
God bless you.....thank you
Wise words & great advice
take care lana
How have you been? You're probably right