These eyes
I have seen some extra ordinary relationships, some not so great and some night mares . Some of them through the eyes of my friends and family, still others through my own eyes and personal experiences.The one thing about relationships between men and women which I have noticed is that the longest , most stable relationships are not necessarily the ones where the two people have the most in common or get along the best, they are those who are the most willing to open up to one another and to expose their inner most thoughts , feelings and dreams. This takes courage and a real desire to take the journey together onto a much deeper level. It can be scary....as if you are giving up some of your power to another, trusting that person fully not to crush your spirit , your soul, your world . Allowing them to see the deepest parts of you.....
How many of us are honestly willing to do this?
Comments (27)
To love; its a verb, and two people need to work it every day, and accept the give and take if they want it to make it work.
How's this Lana? Better?
I'm fine, having a relaxing time here, just what I needed :) Many weddings here tonight so quite noisy though! Hope you are doing well!
It may be the one thing i need most in a partner. Its what I've found posting online, communicating my thoughts and feelings.
Sorry to hear of your experience. It has also happened to me. This is difficult...when the openness is one sided that person must eventually give up unless he or she wants to be left drained of all emotional energy and empty.
The same thing started to happen with the only person I thought I had something with since my marriage ended. Its why I put it in my profile. I've had too much experience with this in my life. Jealous people that is and insecurity.
Exposing ourselves and being venerable goes against every thing we're taught from the time we're little boys.
I think that sometimes its the differences in the way we communicate that gets us in trouble and misunderstood.
I understand this more and more which is why I am seeing that there is no "them" against "us" here just two different genders who are for the most part well intended yet have very different way of communicating what their needs are to one another...as simplistic as it seems it does come down to understanding and effective , open communication I think.
why only american men....my learning is focused mainly on humans in general...
You mentioned something in a prior blog... an elderly couple where the gent routinely complimented and built up his wife.
I think there are good habits and bad habits. Good habits are small gestures that make sure the relationship stays healthy and grows. Always being polite, looking each other in the eye, leaving each other in a positive way and greeting each other in a positive way --- always, not just on the good days. Things like this.
Too few people seem to incorporate good habits and remove bad habits as individuals, so they don't have these skills to bring into the relationship.
Basically, both people need to recognize and implement good habits in the relationship. It has to be both... if only one does it, it can only go so far.
Trust - Is the other person stable or do they act rashly in life? Do they actually know what they want and what they fear? Do they know what makes them happy? If you've truly shared these things with each other, the relationship should be fine... as long as you continue to share things like this.
A key point: Each has to accept (fully) what the other says (what they feel) and show they can be trusted with this information. If they don't do this, communication starts breaking down... if that continues ............
Cave man vs modern man:
Cave man - "Me wantum woman. KONK! Me drag woman to cave."
Modern 2011 man: "Hi, Lana. I'm____. Would you be upset with me if I asked you out?"
My, how times have changed. (Lucky for women!)