Playing "House"
I cannot believe I let such a golden opportunity slip by!I had four interns and their 'mentor' doctor present at my bronchoscopy in addition to my own doctor. And I sat demurely (no really) and quietly while the mentor did his best to elicit tentative diagnoses and opinions from his 'chicks'. I did flirt a bit with one of the chicks who made eye contact, he turned out to be my second cousin so we chattered away while the visiting intern from Germany hazarded a guess that a bronchoscopy meant they were looking for cancer.
I was at my entertaining best as my doc sprayrd lidocaine down my throat, then in my nose. I asked if he was trying to stop me talking- for a shy retiring type I can get very obstreperous at times- and when he gave me a second spray down the nose saying let's try this again, I went silent for about three minutes and then growled (about all I could manage with near paralysed vocal chords) "I can still talk you know!"
and managed to get a laugh out of every one.
They put me to sleep after that, although I did hang on long enough to excuse myself and thank everyone for coming. Apparently pethidine makes me gregarious.
It was not until I got home that it occurred to me just how much fun I could have had. I think the atropine dried my imagination along with my mouth. it was clearly a chance for me to indulge the House MD
who lives in all of us and say:
The patient presents with numbness, parasthesias on the left side of the body. Is clear for MS, diabetes, thyroid whatever it was,no stroke, no coughing, no chest pain, no respiratory distress, the lung function test is well within normal parameters, heart trace is normal, kidneys and liver are functioning optimally according to the blood tests and scans. So why is she having a bronchoscopy? I just love the diagnostic brainstorming sessions in House!
My sister had come back to pick me up so she was there when I asked my doc what he saw. She was as speechless as I when he said nothing much, there is a great deal of distortion from the surgery you had 20 years ago and so we took some sweepings(!) and washings (no wonder I am wheezing today!) and hopefully we got enough for the lab to get good results.
I feel like spitting. Well, at least the LEFT lung is clear and healthy. And if they think I am about to smile sweetly and say "go ahead, open me up and take a look" They are so wrong.
I have a follow up with my neurologist tomorrow as he should have had input from the surgeon and yesterday by then. I am going to take my sister in with me - just in case I have been worn down enough to cave under the pseudo-authority doctors assume so well, and I am going to ask that something be done immediately to address the freaking tumours in my brain.
My sister needs to leave for a couple of weeks - she does have a life; I need to be able to tell my boss someting definitive, right now I am working sporadically but the company (and I) need to have a plan so areas I would normally deal with are covered.
I have to look at how I will manage day to day. I cannot drive. All sorts of things are becoming unexpected challenges. The other day, Iwas concentrating very hard on keeping balanced on both feet and the left foot floated uo off the ground as though gravity took a holiday! The fingers of my left hand will cling to a handle so tightly they hurt, while the thumb just dangles sometimesor curls over the top of the fingers as if to make a fist.
Strange days! It's rather like those 'interesting times' of the Chinese curse. Then there is my mother. Who is no doubt doing the best that she can, but I find her very trying at the moment. And I really did not find the comment "been there, done that" when I tried to talk about my concerns particularly helpful or supportive. My sister and I need to find a gentle way to tell her That she'll be on her own for a couple of weeks.