Is there any way
Out of such sort of situation where youLike met a guy, with whom your interests click really well,
Whom you love to spend time with, share things, some very special thoughts, like about your plans for future, family problems, men, career, universe - everything! And he seems to be very understanding, sometimes gives very good advice, sometimes asks you for fresh ideas.
Problems is what our life is all about, but two of you can fight everything together, laughing at yourselves in an awkward situation, or making fun of people who make you sad.
He feels comfortable to talk about his relationship with women, former partners and current ones.... and you are okay with all that, cos he's really not your type! Lol. I mean he's good but, too many buts.. age and distance, lifestyle, children from different women, who's now sucking money from him like a bunch of vampires. You are very good together like as you are - as friends!
Then after a while he makes a go at you, and you are like no! Don't spoil everything hun!
And he's like WHAT???!!! I have wasted so much time on you! And turns out to be an absolutely different character, like somebody has just removed that funny guy, and put this sad and vulnerable man on his place!
Well, this happened to me not just once, this usually puts me off such guys, and even if I still feel a bit of attachment (as to a friend) successfully kill it forget and forgive.
Now, I am wondering, is this just me? Has anyone of you had similar experience? What do you usually do in such situations? Is there any other way to retrieve such 'friendship' or this is a dead end?
Comments (23)
Sometimes love is not by choice, but by chance, falling out of love is by choice, not not by chance.
Allow men to know early that you are only wanting to build a friendship, as sometimes, friendships are more important and better than a love relationship.
just a thought.
50% of my friends were always male, through my job (and qualifications) I always had a lot of dealing with males. For most of my adult life I was in relationships, so it was mostly about nothing else than friendship with other guys.
I do find this a lot harder at the moment. I would have no problem to extend my circle of acquaintances (and eventually friends), but I had it a couple of times that on offer of friendship (or just chatting) was taken up differently, even though I was clear about it.
You can only say in what you are willing to offer and if someone has selective hearing, it is not your fault.
I think it's sometimes a shame.
I thought of this so many times,
But every time feel myself uncomfortable to come up with 'just friend', when my fiend is supposedly (as to me) even not thinking about anything more. Wouldn't it sound crazy?
Move on
I cannot say that I didnt have any male friends,I sure did, but we had some other common interests like work or gym, or study, or were in some other way helpful to each other, maybe that's why.
Still hard for me to believe that I'm not worthy of being just an interesting company to someone, without brining something more on the plate.
But i believe there always been some hope for that man that one day you two can be together.
I had something similar started happening to myself, but didnt enjoy that much and we fell apart.
That was a man quite a bit older than me, who was through divorce process when we started to date. Then everything turned around in his life and he chosen to get back together with his wife.
I did expect that, and wasn't too much disappointed, especially because he helped me a lot with my problems, he didn't just disaster all of a sudden, but indeed was very helping, delicate, apologetic.
Then in a year or so he started to seek my attention again, saying that his decision was a probably a mistake and he would try to start it over again.
Well, this was quite disappointing about him, honestly it seemed to me that all good impression he made on me a year earlier started to fade.
Then of course friendship, but this was so obvious in his eyes that friendship was just 'for now' until found very good reason to get me into his bed again. I just couldn't stand it , what friendship is that? Just two grown up people fooling each other?
Nah, although he was a very good person, couldn't do that.
But why this should be about future?
No one can guarantee you a good future, especially why a friend?
Friend should be someone living their own life and sharing thoughts with you, meeting over weekends, know each other families, going at the same gym at most. Why there should be any guarantee?
I'm inclined to believe that we all have a dual persona. A good weather character and a bad weather character. With some people they are very close to each other and with others they are very different people. Until you have met them both, you don't know the person at all.
Old story... basically.... guys cannot be simply friends. It's that simple.