this all online dating thing
It gives us oportunities to get to know a person better(from inside) until we actually meet them.On the other hand who on earth gonna like this inside without seeing a true outside?
I mean in real life u get acquainted with a person, try to make a quick estimation of his/her background, mental state, financial status, social status etc etc and then deside if to start any sort of relationship with them or not. simple equation, no complications - his/her looks and manners are constants and you just gotta to figure out all the rest, which is not so hard if you are a person with a sharp eye - as they say.
Here in online dating, u get all sort of information about that special person at once, sometimes even so much that you dont actually need it e.g. what was their last pets name and how much they love their mum, kids, ex wife, all that sort of cr*p. U get to know so much about them, probably even more than about many real people from your real life, who u've been known for ages.
The realization of this makes me feel somewhat important in those people's life, i usually start feeling responsible for whatever bad could come their way, especially any possible bad that might be caused by me. Oh cr*p I hate this feeling!
And when u eventually meet them, (or see on skype), those imaginable constants, which you so much belived to know (evem like much) appeared to be crooked. Do they really belive all those people that I never notice the missing leg or hand, half less hair than in that gorgeous photo on their profile, warts, herpes all over their face and shabby belly hanging down over the belt like a flap, even in a shirt!
I feel deceived in this moments, and I wonder if those people do realize that they wasted (not even my time) but some emotional part of me, that will never let me again treat people so openly, believe in them and open myself.
Comments (31)
Just try to keep hope and stay positive.
Have a bright happy day!!!
I think its because it's somehow artificial, so far from the natural way to meet people, to which i'm used
I dont know why, but I'm feeling guilty, and what i'm trying to do is to find a confirmation that all this is a wrong feeling. I hate to see those sad eyes, and no matter how right i am with my decision and how many affirmative reasons i find to tell them no, they seem to be ever before my eyes.
But you cant stay in that mood too long. Remember, ONLY YOU hold the KEY to unlocking those chains that bind you.
Please try to smile.. FOR ME?
All I can say is that I hope you do find that special person someday
Goodluck
just kidding. Smile and enjoy the day..
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May they bring some smiles our way.
Good blog!
But now I wonder (always wondering).
If it takes you more than five years to really get to know the person you are married to; how long does it take before you know somebody on line?
Love that pic!!!..am saving it..hope you don't mind...
38 minutes ago
Some of the advice from the faceless posters here is a bit rich"
If that's aimed at me I'd like to inform you that I once had 8 photos up when I was meeting people from here. And yeah, my advice is sound.
I chose my fiancee based on "love at first insight". I didn't take her photo as gospel. Her photo was true of her, but when she was younger.
She has a real complex where she cannot see how beautiful she is now, and so she felt that to attract a man of worth, she had to present something she no longer is.
I don't blame her for this, or any other that does this. I accept people for who they are, and I accept people's friendship even if I'm not all that interested, because for me, every human being is beautiful and of worth in some way.
I don't expose myself to potential danger, or to delusion. But using many tools that I found filter my selections, i have found many good friends here on CS, and I have found my soul-mate who I am engaged to now.
We must invest something, but in all honesty, I told my now fiancee that I really liked what was developing on the internet, but that we had to spend real time together to make a proper and real evaluation of our suitablity and mutual attraction.
Some might find this forthrightness confronting, but remember this medium lends itself to alter egos, and self delusion of who and what we are and who and what others are.
If I point the finger to blame someone else, I find that I have three fingers pointing back at me from my own hand.
If we remember that when we judge someone else, it is often because we see (and do not like) the same things in ourselves, but we do not admit these things to ourselves.
This has been my learning and experience growing and changing and loving.....
love...hate
happiness...sadness
everything...nothing
positive...negative
life is a contradiction...
nothing is consistent...everything is inconsistent
if nothing is inconsistent... and everything is consistent
then we have nothing anyway(LOL)!!!!
maybe only one exception!!!