Last Commented Family Blogs (544)

I feel gravely ill. Started vomiting up black stuff and huge pain in back and side and abdomen where the other half literally kicked the living hell out of me while I was on the ground on the 2nd. I. At my 2nd of 3 stops and I already called the company and let them know to get another driver to finish the load. I'm going to be going by ambulance to the emergency room.

Moonbaton is a progressive suburb of Boston, often called a little piece of Californicate back East. The Smith's darling and talented twin girls (two X chromosomes, female breast buds, ovaries, womb and all), are increasingly stressed out. Seems as though one, captain of her girls' Grecoroman wrestling team, was pinned in ten seconds by a much stronger opponent, biologically a male, but now trans. The school board and town council, Fake Indian voters all, approved the whole deal, and this same "it" student has exposed itself, repeatedly, to both young ladies, in the now "all gender", former girls', room. More normal citizen action to town officials falls on covered ears. The Police chief, a tiny negro gay lady, was recently Peter Priciple promoted, and now does only desk work, after having her arse-and side arm- both handed to her, by a male perp she was trying to cuff, after he allegedly robbed an elderly lady of her pocket book. He was also prototrans and homeless, and needle drugging and peeing/pooping on the formerly tidy streets of idyllic little Moonbaton, Mass. But well protected in this sanctuary town, based on his illegal criminal entry here from sunny El Salvador. There's a sign over the entrance to the town hall, boldly proclaiming, "IT'S YOUR GIRLS, MRS. SMITH". Stay tuned, folks, it's all coming to your town soon. Vote Bernie, Biden or Warren. Trump is a monster.

Earlier today I went to visit my niece and her 2 children. On the way back, I stopped for groceries and found a father & son team playing music in the parking lot. The term is busking and it refers to playing in a public place for donations.

As the story goes, Giuseppe was wailing away on a violin with some prerecorded music in the background. Both players were amplified and can be heard across the large parking lot of a mall.

The sign explained he has 3 kids and not enough money for rent.

Although the weather was terrific... the sun was beating down and unless they were wearing sunblock, I'd give them a little more than an hour before their next gig would be the emergency room burn center!

This topic is about the unequal marriage. Surely it got nothing to do with the Bible and with other religious things. It is a moral issue. The talk is when it comes in marrying and living with a spouse who is twice or far twice about age. A 55 years old man married to 25-35 years old woman, or 45 years old man marries an 18 years old girl. Likewise also comes with sugar moms who are far above ages of their husbands. We believe that these unequal marriages are normal ? Truly, they are abnormal and more than 80% they always end up in divorces. Why ? Because age difference is always comes in number one of matching chemistry for building solid marriage. Good matching age gulf between spouses must be at least 5-7-10 years, and not like 15+ years. Huge age difference makes many problems. The mentality of young people spouses is different from their far older spouses. For example 20+ and 30+ years old men and women wish to enjoy things which is for young lives, but while their old spouses sit at home and watch TV, because they are nothing, but withered dry wood logs. The spouses 40+ and 50+ are old and are home bound people. The unequal marriages are also dangerous, because the younger spouses mostly focus at older spouses wealth, not the spouses as themselves. Yes the gold diggers who divorce them for money and assets, later after they married. Age is not always just a number.
In conclusion, the unequal marriages are abnormal and are unwise. There is an idiom, " The hockey players are far different with the chess players. "

I'm not so depressed that my job is suffering, but when I get back to the company yard with this trailer and drop it off, I'm going to sit down and come to a very serious decision on whether or not I can drive anymore. Not because I'm unable to. But, because of the fact that one of the biggest things held from me during all the dramatic buffalo cookies with the ex, was my medications.

I take them because a few years ago I suffered such a severe case of pancreatitis that if I didn't get to the hospital when I did, I would be dead. I'm not a heavy drinker. Not by any means. I have a drink 3 times a year. Once for the wedding anniversary, once for the passing of a father I never had the chance to meet, and once for the passing of a grandfather who I truly saw as the most influential person to guide my very existence.
And it isn't drinking anything more than a shot of whiskey for the last 2 and a shot of tequila for the first. Otherwise I stay away from the liquor.

But due to the severe nature of the pancreatitis to begin with, I've suffered since. And unless you have been through it, I won't go into detail. Let's just say my industry isn't set up for the problems that come from it. I have dealt with it the best I can and I am embarrassed for myself to no end.

But that's where the problem lies. They purposely held my medications long before I came back to work. Just for the sole sake of making me suffer. I was assigned a hospital appointed case worker a couple of months before I left to cone to work due to various reasons. The biggest were the forcing me to miss my Dr appointments on purpose, and the physical violence that encompassed the relationship, and the withholding certain medications that I absolutely needed because they are medically necessary to be able to properly live.

Now I didn't ask for a caseworker. That's social services for adults. Basically how you hear about people taking children from families due to neglect and abuse, just for adults. I have been trying my best to avoid this decision; of having to give up my career, live in group housing for invalids, apply for social security disability, and be assigned a nurse to care for me 24/7. But, I personally don't see myself as that bad off. I just need to be able to get back to my home state, pick up my medications, be able to get a new place, and to avoid any and all contact with the other half.

That's the part that scares me. The other half. There's alot of vindictive behavior and violent games that have made it to where I have been staying away. At first I was forced to stay away by their violent actions and the infidelity. Now because of the divorce, there's a restraining order against me, which is perfectly fine with me. But since it was filed, I have kept to myself. No contact. I have received several dozen texts, emails, messages, calls and so forth. I have avoided them all. I have multiple times been told of the relationships between them and others and like I've said before to all who tell me including when she has told me about the things done behind my back and closed doors. I don't want to hear it nor do I want to know about it. Her texts since I've been back to work these months have gone from hatred to desperation to cruelty to lies and back to hatred. I don't wish anything but love, happiness and joy and success in their life. I just wanted to let it be what it is and move past and heal. But today there has been a very backwards cold vindication to everything from their end by attempting to get me fired due to me filing a couple of forms with the courts due to the threats and harrassing messages and that it is affecting my job. But I think, for the benefit of the universe, I shall be giving it all up and just wander off into the sunset and let my life be in nothing but the Lord's hands.

Many blessings to you all. Many thanks for your kind words and encouragement. This crazy wolf is going to run one last load. DJD

and non parents as well. What are the differences between raising girls and boys? An old Joke about the latter, is it's much easier, because then you only have one dong to worry about. Never had boys myself, but they might be easier, for lots of reasons.

So, for the longest time I have been doing my best. In all things and aspects of life. I have given my all to everyone and everything I encountered. Not to say I didn't have my moments of selfishness and seclusion. I kept my faith, my love and my self esteem in check. I tried to find that inner peace in such a chaotic world outside and inside my home. I have tried my best for others to say it's not good enough. I sent my money to be paid to the bills and debts accrued under my name for the money to be selfishly spent on frivolous things and be told that it wasn't good enough. I have witheld my income to pay the debts myself to have games played and the money lost within those games to never be recovered. All I seek in this life is peace. I wish to have a family of my own someday no matter how selfish I've been told that is. Very recently I have been told by an emergency room that not only are the physical pains real but the emotional ones are real too. I have been told that I suffer from severe traumatic depression and PTSD induced by my prior relationship. I didn't want the violence. I didn't want the childish name calling and public outbursts of supposed affection that were only childish tantrums from a person who manipulated every one by playing the everything is ok card and when behind closed doors the hitting themselves and hurting everyone with words or physical acts. It scares me that for so long nobody believed it was happening. The same words would be said to me about how much I should try harder and do more. I was told that I was never supporting the other person. That they only supported themselves. Then I found out online that it was one of those things where they were gaining sympathy for something that wasn't happening. It broke my heart. It broke my soul. I helped raise two children who weren't even mine. Supporting their every need I possibly could. From the beginning there was talk of having more with me but because of a tubal ligation the year prior to us meeting, there would need to be a reversal done in order to achieve that goal. that's been hung over my head from the start just to be told everytime it came up that it was said just to keep me in the relationship. There have been many many arrests due to the violence and I have been hospitalized far too many times because of how I was raised to not hit those of the opposite side of the relationship. I have no clue what or why it all happened the way it always did. It got so bad the hospital gave me a social worker who told me to start filming everything because if I didn't it would be claimed like it has all along that it didn't happen. The last time I filmed it I was attacked so violently that I have internal bleeding and I will have permanent bite marks to the top of my skull in my hairline. I would have been arrested on the spot when the sheriff showed up if not for the sake of the video. I have tried for many years to peacefully go my separate way leaving every possession I have owned behind each and every time just to have to start over again. I wish nothing but peace in their life and the children's lives, because unfortunately I don't have the will to be beaten senseless anymore. I am ashamed of myself for allowing myself to be in this for so long. I only wanted peace out of life for everyone and everything around me. I do have my job. I will have to start over again with a home. And start again with another vehicle. But time will grant me those things as long as I keep to ky work. That's the only real thing I have in this world. My career. I can go anywhere and still have my trade. I just want to find peace in this world. Just peace. I wish nothing but peace upon anyone else who is hurt and feels like they are damaged because of their inability to free themselves of the pain of this world. It is a cruel place but I wish you all peace. Nothing but peace. Please remember that regardless of what others tell you, you are loved by someone somewhere. DJD

I finally did it. I picked up a load and was running back to the yard with it to take care of some personal paperwork so to speak. And as soon as I get within 5 miles a coolant hose blows up on the back of the engine and spewed coolant all over the place including the windshield of an Arizona State trooper who surprisingly took it in good stride and helped me find the exact place it blew up. He went through my logs and my paperwork and gave me a clean inspection to turn in and get paid on since they pay for those. But most of all he spoke to me about my life. I let him know everything because unlike some peoy, honesty does go a long way in life. He realized how pained I was talking about it but just let me talk. Man, that trooper is an angel in disguise. He let me finish and didn't tell me some messed up anything. Just clasped me in the shoulder and said it'll be ok. All I really needed. Just for someone to tell me it'll be ok. I hope life is going to be ok. Because to be honest, I don't think I can take another hit. I don't want to get another text or call about the ex. I've dealt with enough games about her. I'm sorry life isn't what it was supposed to be. But she wanted it ended and I gave her that. So why the games. Why the drama. And why did a brand new hose explode off the back of the motor? Geeze I just had it replaced while I was down the last 2 days. Man. Oh well. Maybe it's a sign I need to slow down and relax a little bit more. Just a little bit longer.

Yesterday, I got off my shift after being on the clock for 22 hours dealing with the load I was given. I had waited up for 7 hours expecting the driver the day before on the driver who couldn't do his own job.

When he pulled up in the truck stop I was in, he parked in the middle of the aisle and blocked everyone's way around him just so he could come to my truck and start yapping about how much he despises a whole slew of other drivers and spouting off about what he thinks about them.

For an entire 30 minutes he complained about it. The entire time I kept getting dirty looks from drivers because he was blocking traffic. I finally got sick of it and told him if all he wants is to talk then park the trailer in an actual spot and I'll be more than happy to jabber on about what's going on in his mind.

He looked around and tried telling me there were no spots and this that and the other. I looked in my mirror and told him there's 12 spots on the row behind me and to park it or drive it but I don't have any time for ignorance. The look of hurt he gave me was just pathetic.

I realized that when he started walking to his truck that, he doesn't know how to back a trailer in uncomfortable places. He took off and I waited another 30 minutes to go find him, not parked, but sitting in the middle of the back row blocking everyone from parking their trucks and trailers because how dare anyone want to rest before he does. I just walked up to him and said I'll be back in a few. He started gobbling on about how much he's going to knock out all these drivers in the back lot. I looked around and looked back at this guy and said good luck.

I go all the way to the store to deal with personal issues and buy some drinks to have for the trip. I go back to where he was and he was parked. I will give him that. He starts this whole jabbering about degrading the rest of the world and how he's such a great driver, and let's it slip quite a few times about his hitting things with his truck and for being a driver for a whole three years at this company and that he's the greatest thing ever.

I'm still waiting on him to get around to what needs to be addressed and finally tell him I need the paperwork and to know what time it's supposed to be at the warehouse. He hands me the paperwork and I see it's a frozen meat load and on the paperwork it specifically states in clear bolded writing that it's a 4 am delivery and there's a 1000 dollar fine for late delivery.

He tries going on about politics now and I tell him to get in his truck and go get his empty trailer and go to bed. He gets all upity, but does so. I back up to the loaded trailer and almost instantly I'm approached by several driver's whom he started a fight with.

Apparently he hit a few vehicles with his truck and they couldn't get his truck number. So I decided to do the only thing I could think of. Tell the truth. I let them know I've dealt with his inability to do his job on a number of occasions when I was last working for this company. And I wrote down his info and gave it to each driver who said he hit their equipment. Well one driver started telling me about alot of very prejudiced things said by this guy and I found myself apologizing for the incompetence of him.

I hook my truck to the trailer and do my safety checks and looked at the scratches all over an almost brand new trailer and take pictures and send them to the companies breakdown Dept because I refuse to pay for damages that didn't come from me.

I get going down the highway and get to where I need to be 500 miles down the road with minutes to spare because I did a few things to make up the time that I am not proud of, but I did what needed to be done so I wouldn't be stuck with his late fee.

I absolutely one hundred percent, believe that when I get to my final destination in life, I'll finally be late. But until then, I'm sorry for the world's best attempts to slow me down. And hurt me. Peace to all

Seriously, I'm not an author. I have very little college experience. Mostly it was to get started in the first few weeks of classes and be forced to drop out because unfortunately when the financial aid checks would come, the other half of the relationship would happen to need this or that or the other. I'd wind up unable to get to the classes and would be dropped and that's been a pattern for the better part if 12 years. I dropped out of high school because I was too busy trying my best to support a mom who lost her mind due to the fact that my sister ran away from home and filed for emancipation to avoid being told squat about what she was doing on the back of the ROTC bus with the boys and well, it drove my mother insane.

I grew up on track for scholarships getting straight A's even as a child who grew up in government housing. I wasn't able to function properly in school because of the fact that I would stream through the coursework within about a months time. I was reading the classics by the time I was 10 and reading scholarly dissertations by 16. But that wasn't what was in the cards for me.

My dream was to be able to attend West Point and go career in the military and fast track myself as quickly as possible. But unfortunately due to leading a life of misfortune due to my own devices and the circumstances of how I was just trying to get by, I wound up getting into some legal trouble that caused me to be unable to get a moral waiver which barred me from the service.

So I led a life of work. Labor. Using my back to get by. People have always told me there's more to life than just breaking my back, but it was what paid the bills. I've been told by many people who've come and gone from my life to strive for more because unfortunately I always had to bring my mentality down a notch or two to alleviate their stresses and insecurities of things.

I do have a very rich vocabulary and I probably should start writing a novel or two, but who's going to really read about somebody's follies that they put themselves in? I have been trying my best to just get by. I'm not sure how people can think that I'm anything more than what I am. I don't see an actual future for myself, but that's because I've allowed myself to be held back and allowed myself to listen to the depravity of minds that prefer the misfortunes and struggles and miseries of life over the happiness and joys of success. I've listened to it for so long about how I'm just going to fail anyways that I quit trying. I don't do drugs. Have I in the past? Yes. Do I drink? No not usually. Once or twice a year I'll toss back a shot of bushmills and go on with my existence. Do I smoke cigarettes? Yes. Like a train. I have cut back tremendously from smoking an entire carton a day to a few packs a day. And for those who will scoff at that and say it's not possible, yes it is. It's very much possible when you have nothing but time to light up cigarette after cigarette and yes it does cause quite a bit of health problems which is why I have cut back.

One of my previous posts I put in there that it's been so long since I've written because I was never allowed to get my thoughts out. There's no lie in my words. Not trying to play the victim, because I just wanted to let it out of my heart and mind. I've stated several times I am not blameless in all things. But for people to start in on me like a pack of dogs because they think they already know the facts is incredulously asinine. I've met several people in this life who live it so cynically that they can't comprehend what is before their very eyes so they doubt the truth when it's just that. Fact. Truth. A statement of the present.

But I am tired of being told something that is, isn't. I am tired of being talked down to by the clueless and the blind. You want me to shut my trap, fine. I will go off into silence and hold my despair in and never let it out. But remember, I merely wrote my heart. You commented