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I want to know about Respected Ashlander.
Anyone know about her.

i thought we are a perfect match. He promised noone will make me as happy as he can.

Everything went on smoothly ultil after we both declared our coming wedding and sent out invitations. the preparation aroused many arguments and sadness, even silence.

Now I am so confused and unsecured. the questions like is this decision a right one? are we meant for each other? should we reconsider this marriage? how to deal with all the set wedding arrangements? how to deal with family, colleagues, friends.... keep coming up and chasing my mind

what should i do?

My Mom is a super 84 yr old woman, SUPERwoman! Against all odds and the nursing home that did not want to release their cash cow, I mean my Dad - she got him home.

What a nightmare she went through with all the beuracracy and redoing her house to make it wheelchair friendly. Fighting with doctors and insurance companies. Getting home health care lined up while fighting her "falling" which bruised and cut her up, she succeeded. Dad is home. He sits in a wheelchair during the day and is put to bed fairly early in the evening. He still spends most of his time doing what he enjoys the most, SLEEPING. He likes to sleep as much as dogs do.

My mother seems happy to have her husband home even if it is making her look a bit more frazzled. Between 12 hrs of home health care and us 5 brats, we will make sure our parents are happy. I heard my Dad say once that he wanted to be "carried out of his home" (of 50 years) when the time was up. While he spent two years during a pandemic in that nursing facility - those words haunted me. Just maybe he will get his wish.

The time may come when us siblings come together and have to put them in an assisted living facility but not today.

.... and his plugs for respect for our elders/ancestors..
I began to like this guy, when I read that he used his leather bound I Ching so much, that he had to replace it several times.
Culturally time period stipulated advice, sure enough. But doubt he would turn his parents in to the authorities on the basis of politics, or anything else. But who really knows?

I spent a few days including Valentine's Day with my Mom. She took a fall that sent her to the hospital for a few days over a week ago. My daughter had been staying with her but wanted to see her boyfriend for the weekend so I went a stayed. I had a great time. Mom looks like a mummy all bandaged up but she is getting around. She didn't trip this fall, she fainted due to her blood pressure medicine never getting lowered to agree with the weight loss since Dad's illness then the panademic. She is certainly getting better everyday insisting on bringing Dad home. I'm just taking it a day at a time and I"M FINE.

We spent a lot of time going down memory lane, there was lots of laughter. Her phone is crazy nuts riinging with people checking on her.

Anyways back to the point of the title. In my family we kiss hello, we kiss goodbye, we say I love you with every goodbye especially on the phone, all phone calls end with I Love You, even before I go to bed in Mom or Son's house we kiss goodnight and say I Love you. I'm sure many families are that way, if not then I'm sorry.

Twice now I've said I Love you when I didn't mean to say it. Once to my boss who called to scold me and at the end of the call I said I Love you or maybe it was an email - either way the boss said right back "I love you" I was red with embarrasment, still it was funny.

We have a grocery delivery service here called InstaCart. I order groceries a lot and did so from Mom's. Rarely is there a mistake but this last time there was. I called to get credit (customer service is great), once I got the credit and was ready to hang up I said, "I Love You" BLUSH to a deep 50 shades of red!
I apologize then explained my accident and the rep laughed and said "I Love you too"

I just love being a crazy old lady that can laugh at myself. Life is good and

I do love you.

....corresponding to those in a sense of responsibility. Just was at the ex's, checking her vintage vehicle for an upcoming 600 mile trip to visit her family. We are both the oldest of many siblings, and with time parents are leaving us, so we were named estate executors/principal trustees. Sort of an old school decision on parents' part.
So very old school, that in both families, through hard work, they were able to acquire some rental property, to help with retirement, and to pass on to the kids. Some might say white privilege, as well, until they take a look at the realities of large working class families. Neither of us, both health care professionals, who have been in the roughest clinical trenches, the military and so on, could have done the same. Digressing once more.
Even without the family curse of the drink, there tends to be a fair amount of dysfunction in some such nuclear families. And in our honored administrative tasks, we're seeing our share.
Years ago, when many deals were sealed with a handshake, and renters were often friends, and even family, a damage deposit, first and last prepaid month's rent, and a lease, were often the exception in such circumstances. To make this short, in spite of free or low rent, every thoughtless act as tenants seems to come up. Arrears on rent, lots of damage, unannounced midnight moves and leaving things still there, drug sales in the apartment, police visits for same, and much more.
I know more modern and woke landlords are evolving with the sad changes in the times. But all the shenanigans bring anxiety and tears to the 93 YO one remaining great granny parent, Yet no one seems to want to change old ways.
Fairness in helping out is appropriate. But being mindful of the need to let go a little, and to realize our limits, sometimes have their places.

...creepy things adults say to little kids, to keep them in line...
---If you swallow watermelon seeds, or your chewing gum, watermelons will grow in your stomach, and the gum will stay there for seven years.
---If you stare cross-eyed in the mirror, you'll see the devil, and he'll make your eyes stay crooked.
---Girls who don't trim their hair and go out at night, will have the bats come and make nests on their heads.
---If you swim right away after a big meal, the cramps will make you drown, and big fish will eat you.
Lots more, but the one that petrified me was,---

---If you play with yourself in bed, you'll go blind, and hair will grow on your fingers and palms. So, everybody will know. And as a frightful corollary---
---if you keep dirty magazines under your mattress, God will find out, and will keep you from being buried in a Catholic cemetery.

Don't really know how any of us, ever made it past early childhood.

I'm not a football fan (I was when my son played though) but I come from a strong football loving family. Mom, Dad and my baby sister have long held season tickets. Of course Mom and Dad had to give theirs up when old age started stripping life from them.

Tampa's team is the Buccaneers and Tampa is hosting the Super Bowl. Ironically the Buccaneers are playing in the Bowl. The Bucks color is orange. I will always have the memory of anytime I visited my folks they would always be dressed a like in supporting the Bucks on TV.

I don't know how long football has been going on but my folks were at the start . Last week when the Bucks played in the playoffs they watched it together, Mom watched from home with the phone and Dad with his phone in his hospital home. One with their mind, one with a wandering mind but both experienced some joy or happiness during that short span of time. I'm sure today will be special for them.

Today is Super Bowl - I only get excited about the commercials. I bet my family is going to have a specially fun day and if the Bucs win - not only my family but this whole town is going to be Mardi Gras HAPPY.

I just may throw myself a tailgate party while I watch a movie during the bowl.