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My dad kept giving me love pats. Love pats are soft punches of encouragement that are administered on the knee, shoulder and arm.

I saw a beautiful pair of twins.. little girls today. I mentioned I have a pair of twins, female too but both are already grown. I remember when they were much younger,like 8 years old, several occasions, they'd have the same dreams, say complete sentences at the same time, for example "Let's go outside and play, or Mom can we have some cookies?. They would also end up in the same exact, position even if one was left sleeping apart in another room, or farther away from the other as my mom would help or a family member in putting them to sleep when it's bed time. I remember once my mom was at the foot of the bed with Melissa in her arms and I was with Melanie.. We both went to sleep and about half hour later I woke up and notice Melissa moving.. Slightly.. Away form my mom, I kept watching and as the minutes went by, both keep moving away slightly until both are together in the middle of the bed and holding hands or in identical positions. I don't understand it all and I although I would want to.. I KEEP THOSE SPECIAL MEMORIES ALWAYS and know that yes they are indeed unique and special.

I thought I'd tell you one of those "It's a long story ", story's.

I am a the product of a very middle class family, that had skeletons in it's cupboards,( oh hell yeah, we had a whole bloody graveyard full).
I'm the youngest of 6. I had three brothers, two sisters, an uncaring mother and a violent, abusive farther. I never saw my dad hit any of the rest of my family, just me,( I may need a violin for the next bit). He'd hit me with any thing that came to hand, a stick, a shoe, a belt, And if nothing came to hand there was always the good old fist in the side of the head. The last time he hit me was with a can of beans, More, about that later.
My brothers emulated his behavior towards me, I took quite a few nasty beating off of them, up until the point I could give them back as good,(Or as bad), as I got. I was 7 when they realised they could put me down, but I wouldn't quit an being only 7 I fought like a cornered rat.(pull hair, scratch, bite, Gouge kick, up close and nasty). after that My dear brothers acted like my mother and sisters,and ignored me.


This is how it went on for 3 more years. regular poundings from my daddy, and being excluded by every other family member. To spite him I would never cry, he could hit me as hard as he wanted to, but I wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction. This was Normal,(with a capitol N even ), family life to me.


The one time I told someone about what my dad did to me, was when I was 10 a PE teacher at school, asked me where I got the bruising .all down my back. So I told him,( my dad had taken using his belt on me).
He informed social services. I didnt know this until a few days later a social worker came came to call. Talk about happy family's.

Two weeks later....A social workers report ......
"..... The child is a liar, He makes up story's, He's careless, Clumsy, Sullen, "why I wouldn't put it passed him to have thrown himself down the stairs." (that was the family explanation for the bruises) ,We never saw or heard nothing, ect ,ect "
Was basically what the social workers report said.

My dad saw that as his cue to, (In his words,) "Teach(POW),You(Thwak) Not(Thunk), To(Bash).Drag.Outsiders(SPLAT). Into. Family . Matters.(KERPOWIE)", and he punctuated his words with the previously mentioned baked bean tin.
I dont clearly remember happened next Whether this was down to the blow on the head I had just got, or the fact I blew a fuse.
I do know I lost it big time. Red mist is the best way to describe it. The next thing I do clearly remember is my two oldest brothers struggling with me trying very hard to restrain me, and remove a cricket bat from. My Farther was sitting on the floor across the other side of the room, his noes all over his face looking totally shocked.
What I'm told happened is I headbutted him, then shoved him across the room where he fell against the wall. Then according to my brothers, I picked up the cricket bat and went for him
(Charge) and proceeded to give him 10 yrs worth of poundings. The one thing I do remember is Shouting over and over "You touch me again and your dead!" I know I meant it, and so did he. The look on his face was one of fear.
It's a shames to say, But for a long time I thought of that look on his face as my happiest childhood memory, (I dont now)

The upshot of this was When that school year ended, Having passed my 11+ with a passing mark that was in the top 5% for that year, in the City we lived in, (not bad for a worthless, brainless Idiot) I was destined to go to a grammar school, but my parents decided that I would be sent to a boarding school instead.

(Cont in part2) (if you wish to comment do it under Part 3)

I loved that place, acres and acres of woods out in the badlands of deepest darkest Norfolk, (where the rush hour consists of the postman and the milkman )
My only real saving grace at this time was that I was not a bully (unless they were a bully and in that case it was, "Stand by to have yer heid kicked in, yer scunner")
In the first year I cheeked the teachers, I didn't give a monkey about rules, at least once a week I had a detention to serve, but I was a smart arse,( Good grades all round just for spite ). I settled down a bit after a while, (only a bit mind you I was still a very wild child), and did really well without having to put much effort in to it.
At the age of 16 I left school with 3 'A'Lvl's, 6'O'Lvl's,a whole bunch of CSE's, and an attitude.
When I left school I didn't go back to my family's house.

All through my late teens and my early 20's I hated the world, everyone, and every thing, in it including me,(except my motor bike). So I cheerfully set course on a cycle of self destructive behavior,( "Arr full speed ahead!" "Aye aye! Cap'un!")
I was not a nice person at all.(To put it mildly! You could say I was an violent unfeeling little sh1t head and you wouldn't be wrong!)
As I saw it at the time there are only a few problems that could not be solved by punching somebody's lights out, and I was very good at problem solving.

(cont in part 3 ) (if you wish to comment do it under Part 3)

I have to admit,looking in the mirror,at 80 whole yrs.that I`ve been here,& wonder,as most of us women,sooner or later, kind of turn into our mothers.
Boy,did she use her charm,-Yeah,at every turn,(to her advantage)!! At the butchers,she`d curse at the government.But,at each holiday,she sang "God Bless America" the loudest of anyone...Never mind that she entered the U.S.A.at 16,couldn`t speak English,but found work, sewing clothing,in New York.Met a man, & married him. Had a child, but the husband died.
At the time they had moved to Detroit,Michigan.Her husband`s cousin was available,& she had an eye for him.She said one thing,& he told us another...She hid his coat,on a cold winter`s day-then married him.(need I say more)?
While I was one of five,Pa never said much, because she was the dominent one-got things done,though he`d never admit it.If there was a chance for money-there she was,no matter how little.
During the prohibition,a lot of people were inspired to make liquor,of some kind.The bottles were hid under beds,& other places.Ma got her way,threatening Pa with a broom to eradicate the booze,if things did`nt go her way.
Usually,not because she wanted her way,but because she was savy,& he had the devil may care attitude,that didn`t amount to much, but at least had a good work ethic.
Ma,also had boarders,& she chose the ones with good jobs,get them drinking,dancing,flipping quarters,nichols & dimes under my feet,while I danced,to the accordion they played,& they had some joy,during dark days,before the great depression.
I noticed that ,so much later,when they came to our new house.She`d tell them it was my birthday. She`s poke them with her elbow, c*ck her head in my direction & say, "give here something, it`s her birthday".them wink at them...and at the age of 5-10,how many birthdays could a little kid have?-
!Twenty dollars was a lot,but it was immediately snached out of my hand, while she said "You too young"..
..Then,meals were always made for neighbors, when there was a death or celebration in someone`s family,-she had heart, too. But after a conversation she had with the mayor, she`d only deal with the top-brass...she had trees removed,& didn`t need the leaves.Imagine,taking all that trouble to rake leaves(that weren`t hers,to the neigbor`s front yard,because they belonged to them)& they should clean them up....again!!!!!
She was diligent in every decision,she made. That was Ma.I copied the diligence,but I`m afraid that the deception was a little too much.God love her..just before she passed on,her words to us,(& all can remember):"just love each other".

Lately my brain has been dealing with flashes of chaos which goes both good and bad ways at almost the same time.

Both of my granddivas live out of state but one, the flight attendant, flew into town Friday. I got to see her in all her beauty for lunch. Both her parents faced timed her during our lunch because it was her birthday but her Dad didn't want to talk to me because he was having a bad hair day.

However he faced timed me the next day to explain and to have a pleasant chat. It was a happy chat with my ex son-in-law . We both said "I Love You" at the hang up. Sadly he was in a very bad car accident that night. He had to be revived Twice.

I found out the next day when my hysterical granddaughter (also our little drama queen) called to tell me. Her Daddy was on life support but her sister in Calif already flew in. So both divas are in Orlando which is 100 miles from me.

Yesterday Daddy got the tubes out, is doing better and out of ICU. Turns out both Divas are driving up here for breakfast just to eat with me then run by and see my Mom, their Nana.

Not too many people get to live to see their GROWN Great-grandchildren worship them. It is so nice seeing these young people being so responsible because most the millenials are not.

In the background Mama is having her house made hospital friendly and is bringing Dad home right after Christmas. She falls and gets hurt a lot. Not sure how this is going to work out but Dad will have 24/7 care from health workers to family.

What a world.

Last week, while mending the fence, my neighbour’s wife came over to chat with me. While talking, her seven year old son joined us, asking if he could help me. The woman was astonished. I suppose with five kids in the house she could do with all the help from the children she could get.

“Why don’t you ever ask me that?” she asked him reproachfully.

The boy looked at his mother and asked;”Mommy, can I help the uncle?”

I suppose that boys, even at that age, don’t want to do “a woman’s work”.


Eish, Sunday allready. the weekend is allmost over!

I have often wondered about my purpose here on earth; for I do believe that we are all placed here with a purpose.

I have done ok for myself and there is nothing that I need to be ashamed of in my past; yet I have achieved nothing. I have not written a song, have not published a book and have not planted a proper tree. I have not fathered a son. I have done nothing.

The day I lay my head down my name dies with me; and so does the name of my father. Of the three sons my father sired, I’m the only one still alive and none of us produced a son to carry his name forward. His branch of the bloodline ends with me.

I fathered two daughters, my next brother one and my youngest brother had no children. We were very poor in children. I wonder if it bothers him. After my last brother died in 2000, he asked me if I planned to have more children.

I think he was still hoping for a grandson then.


Sometimes you disappoint people without intending to do so.

After 10 days treatment at a big hospital, Finally, my Dad's heavily pheumonia (both his lungs ) seemed under control. The next step before me was; to take him back to that nursing hospital or take him back home with me? According to his current weak body situation (he unable take care of himself), I knew clearly that my duties in the future days... after calculating my abilities of caring and other uncertain affairs would be happened. My wish to fulfill his desire(back home) guided me making this decision at last:take him back living with me.

After a long distance travel, last evening the 120 took us back from Pudong to Puxi and after one night rest, this morning he knew that he was at home and felt happy. I could feel that from the way he looked at me and his smiling. The familiar surroundings, my face, my voice, my touch and everything can comfort him I know. I am still his dear daughter though he was away from home for more than a year and a half .

In short, the family affections are more than anything else I don't want him feel alone while walking on the last journey of his life.


With Dad last year at nursing hospital.

Busy now , will be back in my free time. Good wishes to you all!

It's over 02;00 am here. but I can't sleep any more though felt very tired both in mental and physical.I worried so much about Dad's heavily cough...

Just back from hospital for a consulting for my Dad. He still suffered from his old disease which scared me and need medicine again I think, I left my phone number to that doctor and she will give me a back call about 08;00am. If there has an empty bed at inpatient department. Then Dad can directly go there. I hope it could be worked soon ...

Best wishes to you all. Now I need a short sleep for a while.