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(Had to share this, such a wonderful way to see stress)

my brain and
heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become

eventually,
they couldn't be
in the same room
with each other

now my head and heart
share custody of me

I stay with my brain
during the week

and my heart
gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

- instead, they give me
the same note to pass
to each other every week

and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"

on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the past

and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future

they blame each
other for the
state of my life

there's been a lot
of yelling - and crying

so,

lately, I've been
spending a lot of
time with my gut

who serves as my
unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut's plush leather chair
that's always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up

last evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head

I nodded

I said I didn't know
if I could live with
either of them anymore

"my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,"
I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

"I just can't live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,"
I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

"in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,"

I was confused
- the look on my face gave it away

"if you are exhausted about
your heart's obsession with
the fixed past and your mind's focus
on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out."

this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves

and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs

I packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs

before I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said

"what took you so long?"

~ John Roedel.(love his word's )

Freewill can be considered one's choices they want to make.

What happens when you don't have any choices or no resources to implement them?





Happy Wednesday all

Just because your views are different someone someone else, it doesn't mean you have to hate them just as if you like someone, you don't have to make their views your views.

Be yourself, its the best thing you will ever do for yourself.

Normally I like to begin my yard work in mid May. The April showers have finished, the grass has been growing since mid February, and a mowing in mid May will usually last till early July for the meadow grass.

Sadly, as some know, this year mowing in mid May was not an option for me. So some rains, some sun, some more rain..

Well today I decided to tackle it. OMG, some of the meadow grass is over 40 inches tall already. And while I was in the hospital the vines took over some of my windows and buried my poor hedges.

my side yard



My poor house



Did I mention my poor 1950s tractor with the 5' bush hog has a flat (original to the tractor, a Chief tire) tire and I am waiting on a new replica tire to arrive so I can mount it?

Fortunately I am both cleared for exercise, and I have a back up plan. A top of the line DR Field and Brush Mower.

So today I began attacking my side yard.

Hacking away



Here, the pesky vines have been dealt with, but work on the side yard is barely begun.



As sundown nears, the side yard is done. Note the tip of the DR sticking out. :)



Not done yet, acres of meadows on the other side and in front to go, but I am sure me and the DR can do it. Hoo Rah!


RS, I loved the ending of tonight's Game of Thrones. Dragon Power. :)

It's foresee that in my city can see the bolides rain from now to around 3am tomorrow in the sky!

Center is from the Gemini, starting from the west at 10pm today, means now and raising up to around 3am. A lot of people here (especially the teenagers one) believe that if someone wishing something during seeing the bolides rain, the wishes will come truth! :)

Just in case you will also see the bolides rain in your place, do not forget to wish something! :)

I'm only here because I like my own comment

and centuries later, Mr. Greenspan's 'primacy of profit'...., insights into the powers of the free markets, to provide for our needs. As opposed to socialism, or worse, and the failed, VERY failed, 'planned economies'. Count them all.
In some lectures by Canadian (eh?) wannabee Illuminati member economist, Dr. Mark Carney, these concepts were mentioned, in the context of the alleged immorality of Capitalism.
The party line is the absence of what makes people happy and secure in this last named system of production and wealth distribution, ceteris parabus.
Well, even these alt leftie, white guilt, self loathing banker types will admit to two important trends over the past decades. For one, that the systems with the vapid 5 year plans all have failed, and in the process, have caused enormous human misery. If you deny this, have your nurse or doctor bump up the dosages of your medicines for reality testing.
And, similarly, that under Capitalism, the percentages of utterly poor continues to decrease, in many places, and remarkably so.
This is not to say that the many poor are no longer with us, as they always will be. But somehow to try to induce 'social morality' into the fix is wishful thinking. As evidenced by the above, and...
The inability to ope-rationalize or even to crudely measure such social variables, for economic models.
The need for the confiscatory redistribution of hard earned wealth in any such plans. Communism is wonderful, until it runs out of other peoples' assets.
And so, in the words of Republican slave freer President Honest Abe, "You can't help the poor by making the well off poor themselves".
In order for these plans to be put into place, big, VERY big, statist government is said to be needed. Just how is that working out in the many Dem ruled big government cities, and elsewhere? Minorities there more happy?
In planned economies, supposedly all promising equality, "from each's ability, to each's needs", soon a tiny ruling (Party) class emerges, and hangs onto power. Often using force and violence.

And so much more. Be careful what we ask for. The Great Reset, my foot.

You Must First Realize The Prison Of Your Mind

Hope all the blogger family is doing good.
After Long time but see no change.
All Stay Happy n Healthy.

Out last night at a friend of mine father's birthday party, I noticed some married couples that have been married for several years.

I am a person who believes actions speak louder than words and as it has been said by many professional conversationalists, that the non-verbals speak about 80% of the true message being spoken.

The one friend of mine has been married 20+ years and I noticed late last year...since I just moved back in the area then...that whenever he says any endearing words to his wife, she either told him off, or just turned away with a repulsed look on her face. When talking with him, I can see he has that deer in the headlights look. I get that he loves her, but she...well, hate is a strong word...but, she seems to hate him.

The other friend last night, I have known him since he was a little boy, always a nice person. He came from an affluent family background, and is about 5'3" in height. He is a good looking chap. He married a very beautiful woman, one could look at it as a married made in heaven for these two. Well, at least I thought anyway. I noticed they didn't talk much with each other. They were at the party, but that is about it...a physical level. The whole night, she was out talking with random guys. I noticed that every so often, my friend would go out looking for her. Near the ending of the night, I was going to my car, and there she was, talking off in the dark and in private with another guy. Speaking with him, he just did not seem all that happy. I have never spoken with her, so I could not get much of an impression....but, the combination of both of their actions kinda gave me the picture things were not good at home.

In both cases, the men loved and wanted to be with their wives, as it appear to me, but the women seems very distant from the relationship.

In your opinion and from what you have seen or heard, who do you think would be more apt to leave a marriage, the woman or the man. From what I have heard, most always it is the woman. If that is true, why? Is it something about her biological make up...maybe she gets bored? I know once you loose attraction with a woman, it is a very difficult job to regain it.

...