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Why privacy matters

and I missed you sooo much! Two months today since I packed my computer and although I got it back a week ago it took until today to get connected to the real world.

What have I missed? Who is in love with who? Who's flirting, who's spitting bullets, anyone do something exciting or something really stupid which is still making them blush a little?

I have learned that extreme housework - chipping at plaster, and painting, and hard physical labour rather than cleaning and polishing, although there's that too - doesn't suit me. Every fingernail is broken or chipped, I am lightly spattered with paint freckles, my hair stands out from my head like a loo brush, I say a grateful oooof when I sit down and arggghhhh when I have to stand up, and I walk like John Wayne in his last films. I look about 50 years older than my profile pic. All temporary. (I hope)

Found a bit of newspaper stuffed into a crack in an old wall (interesting ways people repaired walls here but hey, it was dry and the story legible, that was awesome) which talks about el presidento Jimmy Carter, I'm a little hazy on which president happened when, hope an American buddy can date that for me.

So that's me all up to date. Your turn.

Reading further about Eastern Mysticism, I am at the section speaking about the Chinese and the yin and the yang. The symbol that represents it is very enlightening. The full circle, if you will (cyclical motion)...the interconnected of everything in the universe, the polar opposites...with each leading into the other, the necessity of each existing for the universe to be.

I have thought of it as like a single cell battery.

They say the yang (white) represents man, while the dark represents female. The polar opposites. So many differences between man and woman, not one is better or worse than the other.

But, like the battery with its positive and negative poles. In order for the usefulness and the life of the battery to exist, both poles must be used.

So, for humans, both poles must be used....for life and usefulness. The man being rational and the woman intuitive. ....together...they make....

This from the Chinese, dating back thousands of years.


We are suppose to be different.


just some thoughts.....


Of course, the yin and yang represents more than just man and woman...but everything with opposite poles.

Would you care what you ate....if you could not taste or smell?

(what has caused taste and smell disappear lately?)


Would you care who you loved or had s*x with...as long as it satisfied you?

(what is going on today with the corn industry and the toy industry?)

Would you care about how you spend your free time....if you could immerse yourself at home through your electronics?

(what is going on with the tech industry today?)

Would you care about morals and ethics....if you could get away with being unethical and immoral...in other words, do whatever pleases you?

(what is going on with religion today?)

Would you be able to look at others (especially opposite s*x) with compassion...if you are being told to despise them?

(what is going on today between genders...and other divisive message we are being fed today?)


I am sure I can go on and on...


The ultimate question is...are we giving up what makes us human beings?

What do you think?

Are you noticing yourself starting to become numb?

about 4 years ago i was travelling from my house in bulgaria back to my apartment in the south of turkey,
which is a two day journey by coach , and for the first leg of the journey a fellow traveller an elderly dutch man sat in the adjoining seats ,and as the refreshments were served we struck up a conversation ,,
just the normal chit chat like where are you travelling to and the like ,
when we reached the turkish border control we had to leave the coach to have our passports stamped or purchase a visa for those that had not done so prior to travelling ,
which it turned out that the dutch guy had not done , and the turkish border control officers are not the friendliest people you will ever meet ,,my passport was stamped no problem then the dutch guy handed his over ,only to have it thrown back at him with a grunt of no ,,
and he just turned to me with a smile and said oh i seem to have a problem , i said do you have a visa ,,no was his reply ,,ok i said and took him over to the visa office to buy a visa which only took a few minutes , i will see you at the coach i told him as i was going to have a smoke ,,back at the coach we reached the final police check for passports and the officer looked at his passport shook his head and said no ,,still smiling the dutch guy looked at me and asked what was wrong ,i looked at the passport and he had not got the visa stamped at the border control ,so with a smile he walked back to get the stamp and all was well ,,when we stopped in a small town for a short break we were chatting and i said you do not get fazed by situations do you ,and he smiled as he told me that he had been on the road for 12 years with his suit case and just enjoying life and seeing new places,,
we arrived in istanbul at 7 pm and we said our goodbyes as i had another coach to catch to the south of turkey, and the smiley dutch man walked across the concourse to book into the hotel there,,,,
i often think about that dutch man and think what an amazing man he is ,,,,the world is his oyster and he is living it .....

In life, I have experienced a lot of difficulties. I have a good personality: perceverance. I would also cry when I was beat up by the difficulties, but i will scrape off the tears,keep on dealing with the difficulties. If I have a belief, I will need a lot of solid proof to persuade me to give up my own idea. But when i make a decision, I would not regret even I have losses in that decision. I decide it, that's it. I will pay what I decide.

From the time you're born, through childhood, when you spent all day playing, eating, sleeping, being cuddled, fussed over, treated like you're so special, til young adulthood when you fall in love and have sex, all Summer off from school, don't have to work, hang out with lots of friends, parties, play sports, go away to camp, the list is endless. Then you start on a rewarding career, start making lots of money, buy a new sports car, meet a great partner, have beautiful kids, buy your own house. Then the kids grow to adulthood, they meet that special person and move out and start their own family. One day, becomes hard to tell from the day before, your knees start to hurt, your partner isn't that young hottie he/she use to be but starts to get wrinkles, puts on weight, You remember what they looked like when you met and you try to find some similarity but it gets more difficult every year. Your kids have kids who call you Grandpa or Grandma. All your friends are either dead or far away waiting to die, or you don't even know where the hell they are or even if they're still alive. You don't go to parties or make love or play sports or hang out at the candy store. Your wife or husband gets Cancer and passes away and you find yourself all alone. Everything you did that you enjoyed is gone.

It's about this time when you start to think about the life you use to have, and you realize that life is kind of backwards. You don't get your reward after paying a lifetime of dues, it's given to you in advance. It's not like waiting for Christmas morning when you can open your presents, you already got your presents.... but you didn't even know it.
Until now.
Now, when it's too late to appreciate them. When all that's left is slowly slipping away.
I wish somebody told me about this when I was 5 years old. I think I probably would have done things a lot differently knowing that I was going to lose it all one day. I wouldn't have taken life for granted and I wouldn't have squandered the things I had that wasn't going to last forever,
Time, Youth, and Health.

When I Am Old

'I love people, but I do not trust them'

Sit at home, let loneliness and depression creep in ever so slowly, or get out and be a part of the environment...even if that environment is deemed as not so good?

...like a bar
...like a casino
...like a dance establishment
...like a party


I feel if you don't let those places become you....they can fill in any available gaps one has in their life in the meanwhile.

Of course, given if you are a single person.

Otherwise do what? Go to a movie by yourself? Go to a restaurant by yourself? Go to a cooking class that does not exist in your area by yourself? Go hiking by yourself? Go traveling by yourself?

Don't get me wrong, I do spend time doing things with my family, but sometimes those things don't bring you in the most social situations.

Any ideas?