Single or Married ( Archived) (66)

right back at ya.

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with an ocassional night out with the boys or the girls in my case. He needs his space and so do I. In our case , he's not the clubbing type but that works for any activity where Im not involved at all.

People need their own space , we were not born twins.

Now, Im 32 years old, Last time i went out clubbing I felt dumb , and spent one hour there and went back home. Already had an amazing youth and enjoyed and had truckloads of fun, lived crazy adventures and such.

I don't need to go out to reasure my personality or whatever. And I had the time of my life ddancing and partying at the time I had to. And that's past. Now Im a mother and soon a wife as well.

Fortunately he's very easy going and quiet. Basically we're two boring grandparents hehehe

We are always solitary, even in a crowd. We bring nothing more to a relationship than ourselves...but not a substitute for our individuation.

"I hold this to be the highest task of a bond between two people: that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other."

Rainer Maria Rilke

Nope and it's ALL about trust.If people don't trust one another then it's obvious that they don't belong in a relationship.

Well, been watching humans for almost 60 years now. Did some PT work as a bartender in this time. Seen a lot of marriages fall by the wayside in that time. No question alcohol and drugs followed by temptation coupled with the impaired judgment led to trouble or dissolution of many marriages I saw end. They may have profound regrets the next morning, but too late they already did it. Some tell themselves never again will I, but 10 weeks or two years later there they are tilting a few back in the same bar again. Maybe the second episode of cheating is easier I don't know.

Single friends? Er, after 3 or 10 years of marriage there may not be any of those left. Young people have many single friends, not too many married for 10 years do. Parents tend to seek out other parents.

Understand, I have seen many folk go out with a friend have a drink or two and leave and nothing at all wrong happened. That time. I remember one who for 4 years was a 1 glass of wine then leave type. Somewhere around year 5 she crept up to 2 glasses then eventually maybe 4 or 5. By then she was occasionally accepting a dance with strangers if the music was good. Having fun, nothing wrong with that, right? Next thing you know she was showing up on Fridays with the guy she danced with last week and no trace of the female friend that had been coming in with her on Saturdays. Leaving with him too. Yes, eventually the husband figured it out (people talk and it is a small town). Divorce of course.

My conclusion? You can if you want to, but you need to know this is a slippery slope you are moving on and by the time you realize just how slippery it can be, some or a lot of marital damage may have already happened. Would I do this as a regular thing? Not if I wanted to stay faithful or married. Would it cause disquiet if my spouse did such often? Yes. It isn't about just trust. I am sure the woman I mentioned above was really trustworthy in the beginning. She just thought one more wine won't hurt, nothing happened, then 3 cause nothing wrong has happened yet, etc., etc. till it did and too late now, she had already done the deed.