More Women are Choosing to remain single and Childless (40)
tomcatwarne: As little girls, women dressed up in white dresses and held make-believe weddings. Women dreamed of a future on Prince Charming's arm every Valentine's Day, and assumed happily-ever-afters included marriage.
Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
This must all depend on cultures and ethnic backgrounds and in different countries. In the USA, for example, white people will be the minority here in the near future because fewer are out their multiplying as the Biblical God instructed.
However, others are popping out three and four babies w/o being married and by different daddies before they use some sort of contraceptive. I think this is a very sad situation because the children's father is replaced by government support. The daddies simply can't compete with uncle sam's deep pockets. Then the children grow up wrongly seeing the government as the go-to-entity. The government ends up being there daddy.
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mollybaby: I do My point was....if women aren't getting married, then neithet must men be.
If women are remaining childless, where are all the babies coming from?
If women are remaining childless, where are all the babies coming from?
LoL, in this country the birth rate for mid level and upper economic strata is dropping like a stone. Sure poor undereducated folk still have many, so do the immigrants, but for those assimilated into the society with choices, many say no to the kid in favor of earning money and a less complicated life.
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Ken_19: I can't speak for other countries but I can tell you from personal observation many, many marriages I knew (know of?) of in the past half century till about 5 years ago were done simply because the girl became pregnant and parents and others pushed them into it. Welcome to the century of the Morning After Pill and the return of choice. From age 14 to 50 all a female has to do is walk into the store, buy one, take it to prevent the fertilization (LoL, some women I know keep one or two in their purse for faster mediation of potential problems), then tell the guy to get lost (if she is so minded).
Freedom.
A second reason in this country is the economic opportunities for a woman who finishes college and joins the workplace are infinitely greater than for a woman who dropped out of school to get married. I mean should she get married if no law or custom requires it anymore?
Again, Freedom.
#Freedom.
A second reason in this country is the economic opportunities for a woman who finishes college and joins the workplace are infinitely greater than for a woman who dropped out of school to get married. I mean should she get married if no law or custom requires it anymore?
Again, Freedom.
Thanks Ken an interesting and informative interjection.
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galrads: This must all depend on cultures and ethnic backgrounds and in different countries. In the USA, for example, white people will be the minority here in the near future because fewer are out their multiplying as the Biblical God instructed.
However, others are popping out three and four babies w/o being married and by different daddies before they use some sort of contraceptive. I think this is a very sad situation because the children's father is replaced by government support. The daddies simply can't compete with uncle sam's deep pockets. Then the children grow up wrongly seeing the government as the go-to-entity. The government ends up beingthere their daddy(s).
However, others are popping out three and four babies w/o being married and by different daddies before they use some sort of contraceptive. I think this is a very sad situation because the children's father is replaced by government support. The daddies simply can't compete with uncle sam's deep pockets. Then the children grow up wrongly seeing the government as the go-to-entity. The government ends up being
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Ken_19: LoL, in this country the birth rate for mid level and upper economic strata is dropping like a stone. Sure poor undereducated folk still have many, so do the immigrants, but for those assimilated into the society with choices, many say no to the kid in favor of earning money and a less complicated life.
All of married friends who have kids (and it is most of them ) have 2-4 kids.
And they range from college lecturers to 2nd level graduates.
Generally, yes, poorer people, and poorer countries, have more kids. For practical reasons in poorer countries.
Most people still get married here.
Most people still have kids here.
But from choice rather than necessity.
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michael63ca: you are wrong. It is NOT a lack of men but rather a lack of men AND women
who are willing to commit & take responsibility for the pressures that lie ahead, whether it be financial or taking care of a family. Most PEOPLE nowadays are not emotionally strong enough to handle that pressure! I raised 2 children on my own because their mother couldn't handle things and left.
who are willing to commit & take responsibility for the pressures that lie ahead, whether it be financial or taking care of a family. Most PEOPLE nowadays are not emotionally strong enough to handle that pressure! I raised 2 children on my own because their mother couldn't handle things and left.
Relationships are WORK. People are WORK. What seems like a great idea at first, when 2 people meet, and find they have some chemistry, etc... and are attracted to each other, becomes burdensome. She's in the can too long. He is not the neat freak she wants him to be. She's sloppy, he's tidy, she's late, he's punctual. He wants to talk about an issue, she is dismissive, and vs/vs. Unless the parties are acutely aware and prepared for a shared life, it is a mistake. Also, not all of us are meant to be coupled. Solitary lives are valid, too. (I like LOVE mine. WAY!)------ This thread is Archived ------
Obstinance_Works: Girls don't need to marry sensible providers anymore and bad boys don't want to commit(hence the name bad boys).
There's a difference between saying women are choosing to not get married and saying women can't find any man they'd want to marry(who also wants to marry them). Women are not choosing to not get married, they just don't have (m)any options.
There's a difference between saying women are choosing to not get married and saying women can't find any man they'd want to marry(who also wants to marry them). Women are not choosing to not get married, they just don't have (m)any options.
This is a very real observation. We can't blanket the reasons why the original post can be valid without variables in consideration.
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tomcatwarne: "A trip to the altar is not so appealing for those who have been there before," reports a recent study from the Pew Research Center. Its findings show that only 29 percent of divorced adults say they want to remarry, and women are more likel
y than men to say they don't want another marriage in their future.
For many women, the stresses simply outweigh the hypothetical benefits. "I love male companionship, but I feel it would be too complicated to marry, given financial issues, combining families, and so forth," says 70-year-old post-menopausal Nancy, who has been divorced for the past 20 years. "I am very independent. I like my freedom."
More women are expected to join Nancy in post-marriage living. Today, 15 percent of women are either separated or divorced, and fewer of them are likely to remarry, according to Dr. Susan Brown, Ph.D., co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University.
ref.Ellen Dolgen
y than men to say they don't want another marriage in their future.
For many women, the stresses simply outweigh the hypothetical benefits. "I love male companionship, but I feel it would be too complicated to marry, given financial issues, combining families, and so forth," says 70-year-old post-menopausal Nancy, who has been divorced for the past 20 years. "I am very independent. I like my freedom."
More women are expected to join Nancy in post-marriage living. Today, 15 percent of women are either separated or divorced, and fewer of them are likely to remarry, according to Dr. Susan Brown, Ph.D., co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University.
ref.Ellen Dolgen
Tom do I gather that matured women and or married women and divorced are opting to be single and not marry anympre?
If yes, I think it depends on the location and economic trends.
For the women in the first and second world, probably so, because for economic reasons, the country they live in generally in a first and second level, they are provided with all the benefits for living and for health care. But for the rest of the world, that kind of mentality and or option is simply not available. But in reality countries of which is below poverty and without all the government supports, couples stay married much longer for economic reasons. The Philippines for instance, couple has no law that allow them to get divorced in the first place and on top of that there is no economic supplement and or health provisions for people per se.
Now in the case of choice, generally that is the case specially in the west. Why not, I for instance would choose to be single if I had to because, first I am very independent and while not economically wealthy (like I used to, lost two houses and investments in the economic melt down) at least I can live as comfortable as I want to and can travel the world should I choose to.
Now having said that, economic reasons are only partial of the equation. Freedom is very important to me. I must be able to do anything I want when I want and how I want it. Not saying that I don't have a man that loves me to death, heck no, my ex husband is still crying to get me back, but boy this life that I lead is the best. That is being single. And yes, I was married twice already. First one was only for a year (sot and alcoholic), the second is 30 years and gave me four lovely and beautiful children. Now proposal is endless should I entertain them, in RL and in here, but no. I am having fun in life and so be it.
So why do we join Nancy? Because I can and I love my options. I am lucky that I don't live in the third world, but perhaps even if I did, I would have been the exception because I had a profession that sustained my economic needs. (College professor).
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tomcatwarne: As little girls, women dressed up in white dresses and held make-believe weddings. Women dreamed of a future on Prince Charming's arm every Valentine's Day, and assumed happily-ever-afters included marriage.
Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
For the childless part, I think again because of independence. I have four lovely children. But if you look at the birth growth of both the Latinos and blacks, it is sustained that they do hold the highest number, I read that before and I don't know if that is still the case.
But even for the white couple family, they hold the smallest number of child birth in population.
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tomcatwarne: As little girls, women dressed up in white dresses and held make-believe weddings. Women dreamed of a future on Prince Charming's arm every Valentine's Day, and assumed happily-ever-afters included marriage.
Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
I think most marriages I have witnessed , are now divorced. I really do not know of a good marriage. I have decided to not marry, so far. Now that I know more, I feel confident I will marry and be a wonderful, fun ,healthy, partner. All though four times I have been asked. I believe I made the right choice. I am independent. I have worked three to four jobs, went to school raised four great intelligent, successful children. With respect for my parents, I don not marry. They worked too hard for my freedom and my blessed life. I will not chance screwing that up. I hope , believe I will marry one day. I usually get what I want. So I am going to get busy. Probably within two years, When my last child is legally an adult. Til then, UGH, being a mother, single can really have its days. I love it though. I also love this site. It gives me a glimpse of life, other then laundry, cooking, cleaning. ETC... Peace HHForget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
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tomcatwarne: As little girls, women dressed up in white dresses and held make-believe weddings. Women dreamed of a future on Prince Charming's arm every Valentine's Day, and assumed happily-ever-afters included marriage.
Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
I never played with dolls or dressed up playing weddings, I had way more interesting things to do outside.
I do want to share my life with someone and have no problems with commitment and living in a way to accommodate someone else in my life. But I'm realistic and know this has to be mutual, especially if we're talking about a family. If there should be a "we" and hopefully "forever", it doesn't have to be official when there are no kids planned (no pre-nups in this country
).I'm at a stage where I like the life I have and I'm not going to push for kids. It was a given when I was younger that "someday" there were to be kids, but I never had the burning desire for it and know at this stage that this won't change.
Looking around the relationships friends and some of my family members have, I think some people are too egoistic and are better off alone. That incl. women who want kids and the husband is just a necessary evil or guys who want a brood mare and don't give a damn about anyone else other then themselves. I do pity the kids growing up in an environment like that.
I swore to myself that I would never put kids and myself in a position like that. My cousin's are all more or less happily married and their kids are a credit to them, they are a good example for me how well these things can work.
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KNenagh: I never played with dolls or dressed up playing weddings, I had way more interesting things to do outside.
Oh Lord, you've given me another trip back-in-time... Interesting things to do outside ? Heather, Holly and Hilary were three sisters that lived down the street in my childhood neighborhood. We all were about nine years old. Heather was a bit older than her sisters and liked to play dolls with me under a set of trees in the area. She had her Barbie Dolls and I had a G.I. Joe... Heather, liked to pretend that our dolls were married and we played house with our dolls. Everything goes great, every time, until their bedtime. Heather would undress her doll, without pause and was eager for me to undress G.I. Joe... I never did and she would seem disappointed. I just couldn't. I knew that G.I. Joe had no weenie and I was embarrassed by that. ------ This thread is Archived ------
CuddlingSoul: Oh Lord, you've given me another trip back-in-time... Interesting things to do outside ? Heather, Holly and Hilary were three sisters that lived down the street in my childhood neighborhood. We all were about nine years old. Heather was a bit older than her sisters and liked to play dolls with me under a set of trees in the area. She had her Barbie Dolls and I had a G.I. Joe... Heather, liked to pretend that our dolls were married and we played house with our dolls. Everything goes great, every time, until their bedtime. Heather would undress her doll, without pause and was eager for me to undress G.I. Joe... I never did and she would seem disappointed. I just couldn't. I knew that G.I. Joe had no weenie and I was embarrassed by that.
Sounds like an interesting childhood Cuddles.
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KNenagh: Sounds like an interesting childhood Cuddles.
I still don't know what to make of it. She was a very intelligent A-grade student always and very well mannered. For all I know, now as an adult, she may be a naturalist in the summertime, a member of a nudist beach club, or two. ------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: Relationships are WORK. People are WORK. What seems like a great idea at first, when 2 people meet, and find they have some chemistry, etc... and are attracted to each other, becomes burdensome. She's in the can too long. He is not the neat freak she wants him to be. She's sloppy, he's tidy, she's late, he's punctual. He wants to talk about an issue, she is dismissive, and vs/vs. Unless the parties are acutely aware and prepared for a shared life, it is a mistake. Also, not all of us are meant to be coupled. Solitary lives are valid, too. (I like LOVE mine. WAY!)
Love every single thing you said
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CuddlingSoul: I still don't know what to make of it. She was a very intelligent A-grade student always and very well mannered. For all I know, now as an adult, she may be a naturalist in the summertime, a member of a nudist beach club, or two.
A lot of people did things as kids they mightn't do as adults. It might be interesting to find out what became of her Cuddles.
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KNenagh: A lot of people did things as kids they mightn't do as adults. It might be interesting to find out what became of her Cuddles.
I'm not sure of her last name now. That was in a childhood far, far away... However, I do remember the full name of the girl, that I stole a kiss from... 
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CuddlingSoul: I'm not sure of her last name now. That was in a childhood far, far away... However, I do remember the full name of the girl, that I stole a kiss from...
Sounds like good memories.
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KNenagh: Sounds like good memories.
Over all ? No... Dad was an alcoholic. Good times didn't last long, but did manage to take a few good memories with me. ------ This thread is Archived ------
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Forget that! All grown up now, increasingly more women are trading their childhood dreams for a new, marriage-free future. Whatever you want to call the cause--independence, a love for cats, or just thinking outside the engagement ring box -- the U.S. marriage rate is its lowest in more than a century -- and down 60 percent just from 1970, according to a 2013 study by Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family Research. Meanwhile, women are marrying later than ever before, at the ripe old age of 27. OK, that's really not that ripe -- or old -- but our grandmothers would sure say otherwise!
So who isn't getting hitched this Valentine's Day? Is it women in their later years who are going through perimenopause or menopause? In actuality, it's just the average woman who either hasn't found love -- or who has, but just isn't interested in all of the trappings of marriage. Maybe that includes you.
What do you think?
I think the fact that so many marriage failed and ended up in divorce,, (nearly 48%) discouraged a lot of women. The inconvience in bringing up kids under a legal timetable as to the custody, in alternate parenthood is discouraging, added to that the traumatism with the conflicting procedure,, the time lost, and well as monetary arrangements and legal expenses, just the thought of it,influenced some to decide for a late marriage or else stay a single mother, or even stay together not being married.