”…friens first” = impotent (69)
No need ..
With first look at her prospective date,she knows already,
if he is to stay or reject him.
Result of someone's high IQ
or
high "radish Q "
With first look at her prospective date,she knows already,
if he is to stay or reject him.
Result of someone's high IQ
or
high "radish Q "
mollybaby: You say you don't care for you ex-dates because you had nothing in common.
Is that not a reason to become friendly with these men before you even date so?
At least then, you will know if you do have something in common before dating.
Is that not a reason to become friendly with these men before you even date so?
At least then, you will know if you do have something in common before dating.
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Tulefell: But for me an internet dating site is a tool to make an acquaintance and get a date. Nothing more. Not "bonking" (as someone nicely put it), not "friendship" with someone I never met. But an acquaintance, a date... What's so difficult with it? A date don't oblige you to anything. While friendship does. Or this "move with the flow friendship" doesn't? Why then do you call it a "friendship"?
I get completely where you are coming from Tulefell.
I don't date off here, but when I met someone and we went for a date, it's to see if we have things in common and similar ideas to see if we wanted to start a relationship. I have friends and have no interest in establishing a "friendship" with a guy I don't want to see again after a date. I am choosy who I call a friend and these are people I know a long time and know I can rely on.
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Tulefell: I was talking about the "staff" I get in my mail-box and in profiles I read here. (And 95 % of them contain "friends first" nonsense.) But for me an internet dating site is a tool to make an acquaintance and get a date. Nothing more. Not "bonking" (as someone nicely put it), not "friendship" with someone I never met. But an acquaintance, a date... What's so difficult with it? A date don't oblige you to anything. While friendship does. Or this "move with the flow friendship" doesn't? Why then do you call it a "friendship"?
By the way, you forgot to explain what "real friendship" means for you in the context of internet dating.
By the way, you forgot to explain what "real friendship" means for you in the context of internet dating.
I put my hand up....it was me....I mentioned the "bonking" ...the best bit!...
"Different strokes...." I guess.
At the end of the day, I would not exclude a man simply because he wished to be "friends first".
I don't understand why some of us can make something perfectly natural such as getting to know one another, leading to dating and/or a potential relationship, so darned complicated....beats me...
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Read this as a nightcap. Damn this is scary.
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Tulefell: I was talking about the "staff" I get in my mail-box and in profiles I read here. (And 95 % of them contain "friends first" nonsense.) But for me an internet dating site is a tool to make an acquaintance and get a date. Nothing more. Not "bonking" (as someone nicely put it), not "friendship" with someone I never met. But an acquaintance, a date... What's so difficult with it? A date don't oblige you to anything. While friendship does. Or this "move with the flow friendship" doesn't? Why then do you call it a "friendship"?
By the way, you forgot to explain what "real friendship" means for you in the context of internet dating.
i friendship is a friendship, whether it is a date originating from an Internet dating site or not. imhoBy the way, you forgot to explain what "real friendship" means for you in the context of internet dating.
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I always figured that when the term "Being Friends first" was used it was more of a message that the person was not interested in some "one night fling". But I also have noticed that it sometimes can mean that the person that says it also may not really be all that interested in you..as in maybe that "magical" feeling is not there so I guess there is that as well.
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Talking about jumping to conclusions.
Just because someone wants to get to know you a little bit better before deciding to move further, doesn not mean he is impotent.
You would not say a woman looking for ''friends first and maybe more'' is actually saying that because she can't bear a child. Now would you?
Just because someone wants to get to know you a little bit better before deciding to move further, doesn not mean he is impotent.
You would not say a woman looking for ''friends first and maybe more'' is actually saying that because she can't bear a child. Now would you?
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Suit yourself. Ok, enemies first. 
(Kidding. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be friends before you start a love relationship...haven't you heard of marriage partners being best friends?)
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KNenagh: I get completely where you are coming from Tulefell.
I don't date off here, but when I met someone and we went for a date, it's to see if we have things in common and similar ideas to see if we wanted to start a relationship. I have friends and have no interest in establishing a "friendship" with a guy I don't want to see again after a date. I am choosy who I call a friend and these are people I know a long time and know I can rely on.
I don't date off here, but when I met someone and we went for a date, it's to see if we have things in common and similar ideas to see if we wanted to start a relationship. I have friends and have no interest in establishing a "friendship" with a guy I don't want to see again after a date. I am choosy who I call a friend and these are people I know a long time and know I can rely on.
That!!!
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chris27292729: And automatically you took upon yourself,the initiative to exclude yourself from the ""idiots" category.-
It seems now days,we have to believe,that someone's inteligence or
idiocy,goes hand in hand with what someone,thinks about him/her self.-
I take it you are "smart".
It seems now days,we have to believe,that someone's inteligence or
idiocy,goes hand in hand with what someone,thinks about him/her self.-
I take it you are "smart".
Well... with my IQ=128 last time I've bothered to, I'm close to 2 deviation point of the normal distribution in the population. They don't say what population.
If you are interested in what I feel and think... then a cliché in my opinion is a bad performance. And I think, that a person, resorting to a cliché - is a stupid one.
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Tulefell:
1. He is an impotent, but doesn’t want to admit it straight away. Holding hands is all he’s capable to.
To find out if he is ""impotent"",you have got to try1. He is an impotent, but doesn’t want to admit it straight away. Holding hands is all he’s capable to.
him first.
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friends first is an ok thing.
Because it makes a pathway to maybe something that could lead to a relationship. So many people come back and say such foolish things.
When you are so many miles away, you must take care.
I am not about to say "I want to meet a husband"
Because it makes a pathway to maybe something that could lead to a relationship. So many people come back and say such foolish things.
When you are so many miles away, you must take care.
I am not about to say "I want to meet a husband"
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sophiasummer: friends first is an ok thing.
Because it makes a pathway to maybe something that could lead to a relationship. So many people come back and say such foolish things.
When you are so many miles away, you must take care.
I am not about to say "I want to meet a husband"
Because it makes a pathway to maybe something that could lead to a relationship. So many people come back and say such foolish things.
When you are so many miles away, you must take care.
I am not about to say "I want to meet a husband"
Was away for some time and lost the trace of my thread and then didn't know how to find it, hence the delay with my answer.
The thing I can't understand is what's wrong with "acquaintances first". After all, it's what you start any - ANY - relationship with.
You give birth to a child and this person is the closes human being you ever - EVER - will have in your life and you start with to be acquainted with the child's wants and needs and quirks... Whether or not it would lead to a friendship... Are you friends with your child? There where times when I wasn't. Now I am. But it's not given. It's not a constant. It's certainly not a guarantee. It's a continues work from both sides.
A friendship requires a commitment; it brings along quite a few duties and obligations. I am not prepared to promise any of it to someone I have never met.
Acquaintances first. Everything else as a start is intrusion and will be fought off.
Tulefell has spoken.
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Tulefell: I don’t know what people mean with stating ”friends first”. (I’ve asked on a few occasions, but never got any comprehensible answer.) For me a friend is the same as family, just not blood relative. You do everything for your family; it comes first no matter what. Why someone I never met, someone from a dating site of all places, wants me to shoulder that kind of loyalty for him is beyond my understanding. So when I see “friends first” I have 3 options to choose from:
1. He is an impotent, but doesn’t want to admit it straight away. Holding hands is all he’s capable to.
2. He’s got some kind of agenda, but is reluctant to air it, hence – he’s a hypocrite.
3. He doesn’t know what he wants, hence – he’s an idiot.
I don’t take people I don’t know for hypocrites or idiots without further information. So my sentiment when I see “friends first” is that – he’s an impotent.
Just looks like there are too many of them. Well… given my preferable age range it’s not a wonder… but still…
1. He is an impotent, but doesn’t want to admit it straight away. Holding hands is all he’s capable to.
2. He’s got some kind of agenda, but is reluctant to air it, hence – he’s a hypocrite.
3. He doesn’t know what he wants, hence – he’s an idiot.
I don’t take people I don’t know for hypocrites or idiots without further information. So my sentiment when I see “friends first” is that – he’s an impotent.
Just looks like there are too many of them. Well… given my preferable age range it’s not a wonder… but still…
And, no doubt, you wonder why you're single ?
May I suggest the following therapeutic approach
Twenty times every hour on the hour till you come to your senses ...
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Tulefell: Well... your post made maintaining this nonsense for 4 pages worth the effort. Thanks for a good laugh :)
A tiny bright spark in otherwise complete darkness.
A tiny bright spark in otherwise complete darkness.
we need the mixture of serious and silliness. *Every contribution brings something*The views of the poster fo nt necessarily reflect the views of the OP. The word 'every' should be seen as a generalisation and should not be considered definitive.The value of your threads may go down as well as up. In the event of any dispute, the decision of the OPis final and no further correspondence shall be entered into. T&Cs apply.
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Well,that's not how it looked in the preview!
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Took my time and re-read this thread (I've started it after all and I felt responsible for it, don't know why). Also continued to observe people (always men) who offered their friendship in the very first letter. Especially those from a far-away country. It didn't change my impression.
If they offer their friendship in the first message (despite my profile stating that I don't want friends) - and according to this thread it means that they are not so much into me - well, in the best case they are bullies who are eager to inform me that they are not so much into me in their very first letter. Or they are just soft in their head. O
Or perhaps, they are mollybaby making friends on a dating site. Every other aspect of a normal human live is suppressed.
Well... enumeration is just an attempt to summarise the result, it's not an order of any kind.
1. My definition or friends has nothing to do with what the participants of this thread had to offer.
2. My definition of a date has nothing to do with what the participants of this thread had to offer.
3. I am the only one here for a date.
4. Being the only one here for a date I have no chance to find a date.
Amen.
5. The only sane person on this site one who is looking for a date. I salute you!!!!
If they offer their friendship in the first message (despite my profile stating that I don't want friends) - and according to this thread it means that they are not so much into me - well, in the best case they are bullies who are eager to inform me that they are not so much into me in their very first letter. Or they are just soft in their head. O
Or perhaps, they are mollybaby making friends on a dating site. Every other aspect of a normal human live is suppressed.
Well... enumeration is just an attempt to summarise the result, it's not an order of any kind.
1. My definition or friends has nothing to do with what the participants of this thread had to offer.
2. My definition of a date has nothing to do with what the participants of this thread had to offer.
3. I am the only one here for a date.
4. Being the only one here for a date I have no chance to find a date.
Amen.
5. The only sane person on this site one who is looking for a date. I salute you!!!!
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And an important PS to that
Having referred to mollybaby as a 'star' of the boards is NOT IN ANY WAY derogatory or rude ... it's just a reply to the point!
MB is a popular and frequent poster here and IMO she's interesting, amusing, open minded and great 'value for money' ( and that's NOT to suggest she's for sale - stated directly for the benefit of those who's goal in life is to make dark allegations )
Having referred to mollybaby as a 'star' of the boards is NOT IN ANY WAY derogatory or rude ... it's just a reply to the point!
MB is a popular and frequent poster here and IMO she's interesting, amusing, open minded and great 'value for money' ( and that's NOT to suggest she's for sale - stated directly for the benefit of those who's goal in life is to make dark allegations )
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I parted rather friendly with my ex-husband, 'coz we reached the line where there wasn't anything more to argue about. We still phone each other, well... he does and I answer and try to maintain the conversation while I'm completely indifferent about his life whatever it is. I guess, this site would call us "friends". I call it "nuisance". And while typing this I decided to tell him never to call again the next time he calls. Not to waist his time and get a life.
I hoped that this tread would bring some positive results - and here it is!
You say you don't care for you ex-dates because you had nothing in common.
Is that not a reason to become friendly with these men before you even date so?
At least then, you will know if you do have something in common before dating.