HELP!! i Need some advice from both a male and a female point of view. (44)
I feel she should know...
I dont feel it is right that you should have this information and not let her know..
I can imaging the things they say and do together when they have their alone time...The emotions she will share with him not knowing what he is doing...
Be a good friend and cover her back...
She may break up with him but dont let her be at the loss of you too
I dont feel it is right that you should have this information and not let her know..
I can imaging the things they say and do together when they have their alone time...The emotions she will share with him not knowing what he is doing...
Be a good friend and cover her back...
She may break up with him but dont let her be at the loss of you too
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I see a lot of advice to stay out of it or to get involved without her knowing it's you. I disagree with all of that. My friends know that they can trust me to tell them the truth no matter what. If one of my friends is making mistakes in their life and they seem to be the only one that doesn't know it I will sit down and talk to them. The alternative is to talk to 40 strangers about her situation instead of her and I think that is being disloyal. At all cost you should feel you can and have to be honest with your friends and loved ones. even when it is hard or hurts. Just break it to her easy and support her in her decision.
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SueSeeksGent: The sado that I am, I was trawling through the singles websites, perchance to meet "the one", when I came across a profile of a guy who is the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine and they are now living together. He stated on his profile that he was single and looking for Miss Right and that he had viewed the site that same day.
The advice needed is what should I do??????? My initial reaction is to tell my friend, but just wondered what others thought.
I know they are due to go on a well deserved holliday at the end of May with another two close friends and don't know if I should put it off till after that or tell the couple that they are going on holliday with???
Please help I would like to get a male and a female viewpoint and then come to a decision. Thanks to all who reply.
The advice needed is what should I do??????? My initial reaction is to tell my friend, but just wondered what others thought.
I know they are due to go on a well deserved holliday at the end of May with another two close friends and don't know if I should put it off till after that or tell the couple that they are going on holliday with???
Please help I would like to get a male and a female viewpoint and then come to a decision. Thanks to all who reply.
For Me..I would tell her as soon as i knew myself...Better now then down the line later..She is wasting her time and life with this Man..if that is what you want to call him...Tell her and let her to the detective work herself...Would you want to know if you Friend knew something about you and urs?????? I am sure the answer would be YES...Honesty is always the best Policy...Take a deep Breathe and then Let it all OUT
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I've been looking at the responses and it looks like men and women really deal with this differently.
My two cents worth is, to talk to your friend and find ut what kind of relationship they really have, (if she will tell you).
Some people don't find "the one" when they find a partner, and make arrangements among themsleves to "be with each other on conditions."
Relationship are complicated and private to the people concerned. He may have told her that he is still on other sites.
JMO but it's not your place to burst anyone's bubble just because you saw his profile. I have profiles on several sites and go visit them to see if there is mail from time to time and I am in a relationship. It means nothing.
If you had definite proof that he had made arrangements to date someone, then that is different, but there is no proof of anything here.
It is all too easy to jump in with our own agenda sometimes when theirs might be a lot different......
My two cents worth is, to talk to your friend and find ut what kind of relationship they really have, (if she will tell you).
Some people don't find "the one" when they find a partner, and make arrangements among themsleves to "be with each other on conditions."
Relationship are complicated and private to the people concerned. He may have told her that he is still on other sites.
JMO but it's not your place to burst anyone's bubble just because you saw his profile. I have profiles on several sites and go visit them to see if there is mail from time to time and I am in a relationship. It means nothing.
If you had definite proof that he had made arrangements to date someone, then that is different, but there is no proof of anything here.
It is all too easy to jump in with our own agenda sometimes when theirs might be a lot different......
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FunGuy2579: I see a lot of advice to stay out of it or to get involved without her knowing it's you. I disagree with all of that. My friends know that they can trust me to tell them the truth no matter what. If one of my friends is making mistakes in their life and they seem to be the only one that doesn't know it I will sit down and talk to them. The alternative is to talk to 40 strangers about her situation instead of her and I think that is being disloyal. At all cost you should feel you can and have to be honest with your friends and loved ones. even when it is hard or hurts. Just break it to her easy and support her in her decision.
well said..I totally agree
Stop letting her make a fool of herself,
The guy couldn't love her or be totally happy with her if he is doing.. this
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I found a boyfriend's profile on a site. I knew he had a profile there when we first met. I expected him to delete it but found that he hadn't done that. In his case, I think he was keeping it just in case we didn't work out.
But after we were married, I noticed that he still had lots of things he kept secret
In the case of your friend, I'd call her and ask her why he still has a profile on a dating site......
Perhaps she knows already.
And if she doesn't, she can choose how to deal with it.
But after we were married, I noticed that he still had lots of things he kept secret
In the case of your friend, I'd call her and ask her why he still has a profile on a dating site......
Perhaps she knows already.
And if she doesn't, she can choose how to deal with it.
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joanie04984: I found a boyfriend's profile on a site. I knew he had a profile there when we first met. I expected him to delete it but found that he hadn't done that. In his case, I think he was keeping it just in case we didn't work out.
But after we were married, I noticed that he still had lots of things he kept secret
In the case of your friend, I'd call her and ask her why he still has a profile on a dating site......
Perhaps she knows already.
And if she doesn't, she can choose how to deal with it.
But after we were married, I noticed that he still had lots of things he kept secret
In the case of your friend, I'd call her and ask her why he still has a profile on a dating site......
Perhaps she knows already.
And if she doesn't, she can choose how to deal with it.
He still got a backdoor open! Close it b4 u speak to him! or her!
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bust his azzz!!!!
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gingerb: I've been looking at the responses and it looks like men and women really deal with this differently.
My two cents worth is, to talk to your friend and find ut what kind of relationship they really have, (if she will tell you).
Some people don't find "the one" when they find a partner, and make arrangements among themsleves to "be with each other on conditions."
Relationship are complicated and private to the people concerned. He may have told her that he is still on other sites.
JMO but it's not your place to burst anyone's bubble just because you saw his profile. I have profiles on several sites and go visit them to see if there is mail from time to time and I am in a relationship. It means nothing.
If you had definite proof that he had made arrangements to date someone, then that is different, but there is no proof of anything here.
It is all too easy to jump in with our own agenda sometimes when theirs might be a lot different......
My two cents worth is, to talk to your friend and find ut what kind of relationship they really have, (if she will tell you).
Some people don't find "the one" when they find a partner, and make arrangements among themsleves to "be with each other on conditions."
Relationship are complicated and private to the people concerned. He may have told her that he is still on other sites.
JMO but it's not your place to burst anyone's bubble just because you saw his profile. I have profiles on several sites and go visit them to see if there is mail from time to time and I am in a relationship. It means nothing.
If you had definite proof that he had made arrangements to date someone, then that is different, but there is no proof of anything here.
It is all too easy to jump in with our own agenda sometimes when theirs might be a lot different......
Can see what your saying but think it depends what the profile say's he is looking for, if it said dating
and i found out i would still feel betrayed , if i was a close friend of this pesrson i think i would know the kind of relationship they had, as women do tend to talk quite openly about things like that . Also once she has that information it is up to her how she has the choice of what she wants to do
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I would show her...I had it happen to me and know that I definitely would have appreciated my friend telling me instead of investing a year into a guy that was a shmuck...
If she eventually finds out and knows that you already knew she will be devastated...
If she eventually finds out and knows that you already knew she will be devastated...
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morganlee: Can see what your saying but think it depends what the profile say's he is looking for, if it said dating
and i found out i would still feel betrayed , if i was a close friend of this pesrson i think i would know the kind of relationship they had, as women do tend to talk quite openly about things like that . Also once she has that information it is up to her how she has the choice of what she wants to do
and i found out i would still feel betrayed , if i was a close friend of this pesrson i think i would know the kind of relationship they had, as women do tend to talk quite openly about things like that . Also once she has that information it is up to her how she has the choice of what she wants to do
I agree up to a point, but in my case I would never tell even my best friend what kind of relationship I was in or it's arrangements.
I have been in both situations, where friends told me things and where they haven't. Sometimes I needed to let it run it's course, sometimes I needed to be told, sometimes I needed to not believe them and sometimes I already knew and didn't appreciate hearing it.
It is a difficult one.
She'd need to know her friend pretty well .......
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gingerb: I agree up to a point, but in my case I would never tell even my best friend what kind of relationship I was in or it's arrangements.
I have been in both situations, where friends told me things and where they haven't. Sometimes I needed to let it run it's course, sometimes I needed to be told, sometimes I needed to not believe them and sometimes I already knew and didn't appreciate hearing it.
It is a difficult one.
She'd need to know her friend pretty well .......
I have been in both situations, where friends told me things and where they haven't. Sometimes I needed to let it run it's course, sometimes I needed to be told, sometimes I needed to not believe them and sometimes I already knew and didn't appreciate hearing it.
It is a difficult one.
She'd need to know her friend pretty well .......
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RobbieM: Hiya Sue,
Stranger things have happened and some people view other people as commodities, like "he/she will do till someone else comes along" which i personally find disgusting but then people are different.
Good luck!!
Stranger things have happened and some people view other people as commodities, like "he/she will do till someone else comes along" which i personally find disgusting but then people are different.
Good luck!!
Some people, too, get together with somoene who has had the love of their life and maybe they died or something and they decide for various reasons that they give each other comfort etc. Nothing wrong with what people agree , as long as they BOTH agree.
Relationships are strange things. People get together for very many varied reasons, and some of them work for lifetimes.
Not up to us to judge why this happens.......
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SueSeeksGent: The sado that I am, I was trawling through the singles websites, perchance to meet "the one", when I came across a profile of a guy who is the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine and they are now living together. He stated on his profile that he was single and looking for Miss Right and that he had viewed the site that same day.
The advice needed is what should I do??????? My initial reaction is to tell my friend, but just wondered what others thought.
I know they are due to go on a well deserved holliday at the end of May with another two close friends and don't know if I should put it off till after that or tell the couple that they are going on holliday with???
Please help I would like to get a male and a female viewpoint and then come to a decision. Thanks to all who reply.
The advice needed is what should I do??????? My initial reaction is to tell my friend, but just wondered what others thought.
I know they are due to go on a well deserved holliday at the end of May with another two close friends and don't know if I should put it off till after that or tell the couple that they are going on holliday with???
Please help I would like to get a male and a female viewpoint and then come to a decision. Thanks to all who reply.
Ask yourself if it were your boyfriend and your friend had seen him on a singles site, what would you want your friend to do? When you've got the answer, do that. Good luck.
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One way or another i feel you must let her
know what you know.
After all, isnt this what friends are for?
know what you know.
After all, isnt this what friends are for?
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bodleing: One way or another i feel you must let her
know what you know.
After all, isnt this what friends are for?
know what you know.
After all, isnt this what friends are for?
I agree....I would want my friend to let me know if it were me!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hello dear...!!!
sweety, the point is that you´ll never know how do they feel with the relation they have, you dont know if they are happy or not, they have a relation, something we dont...
so, if you do nothing then you´ll live with a book that you should not been reading, if you do something then you will have to live with the consecuences, and honey, they are just living the part God deserve them, let him do his job, not matter the consecuences... just dont get involve...
we are happy when our friends are happy, when they are angry, suffering for love... what do we do?
with all my heart, kisses
Emilio
PD: please sorry my english
sweety, the point is that you´ll never know how do they feel with the relation they have, you dont know if they are happy or not, they have a relation, something we dont...
so, if you do nothing then you´ll live with a book that you should not been reading, if you do something then you will have to live with the consecuences, and honey, they are just living the part God deserve them, let him do his job, not matter the consecuences... just dont get involve...
we are happy when our friends are happy, when they are angry, suffering for love... what do we do?
with all my heart, kisses
Emilio
PD: please sorry my english
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imagine your "friend" discovers this act of her boyfriend, then becomes aware that you knew of this all along?
loyalty and alliances are only as strong as the honesty that holds it together.... yeah it sucks the hurt that could be caused. but even if she forgives him and he was only using the site to do "harmless socializing".
Your friendship with her will still be intact.
another thought I'd consider is simple this maybe he was on this site before he ever met your freind and as most thses sites go many just plain forget to delete their profile or even update them until they are reminded to do so.
Always easier to Post/Start a profile then it is to keep it updated.
loyalty and alliances are only as strong as the honesty that holds it together.... yeah it sucks the hurt that could be caused. but even if she forgives him and he was only using the site to do "harmless socializing".
Your friendship with her will still be intact.
another thought I'd consider is simple this maybe he was on this site before he ever met your freind and as most thses sites go many just plain forget to delete their profile or even update them until they are reminded to do so.
Always easier to Post/Start a profile then it is to keep it updated.
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You must be sure of his intended cheating. As a friend you should inform her. When you do you run the chance you will be a vilian and lose your friend. (I would give up a friendship for there best interest.) But if the same can be done without chancing the loss of a friend...do so.
Show her this guy that you are interested in (lie) on the site. Do a search that will cause her guy to pop up (fake accident) also. Then turn the pc over to her and console her if she needs it.
Don't let her be made a fool of and used......remember your her friend.
Show her this guy that you are interested in (lie) on the site. Do a search that will cause her guy to pop up (fake accident) also. Then turn the pc over to her and console her if she needs it.
Don't let her be made a fool of and used......remember your her friend.
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time i did tell my friend, she doubted me at first then asked around and found it to be true and thanked
me for telling her.
The other time i said nothing my friend found out and also found out i knew about it, i tried to explain
why i had not told her, she said she felt i had betrayed her to and i lost a friend she has never spoken
to me since
Hi Morgan
what you said is right, sometimes people do not want to be told!!!! if you were not a true friend this would not have happened
I'd invite her round to see the scum bags profile, let her take it from there