lanabyteOPCharleston, West Virginia USA1,223 posts
FOUR ALL WHO READ AND RIGHT:
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him, but imagine the feminine as being she, shis, and shim.
Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into! the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
*************
Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example...If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but cannot make one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all! but one of them, what do you call it -- one odd and one end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Where else would you park your car on a driveway and drive your car on a parkway?
StarliteFantazy: waaaaaait a minute.........meeses are moose plural.......so moose are made of sugar????? i'm confuzzled
Yes it appears that my randomly lucid mind has once again ventured into uncharted waters sailing clear off the edge of reason. I was just waxing poetic about the large Alces Alces that I dreamed was clearing my imaginary land plagued with sugar cane infestations. And I was perhaps reminiscing about the quite saccharined droppings that exuded from the non woody end of said beast. Oh so sweet and oddly salty with a light covering of chocolate...
BarrenPneuma: Hving a sugar craving my friend? Meeses Pieces...
No just thinking of a cetain loon cat who used the expression--- " I' m gonna catch (cut) you meeses to peeces" - fortunately he never did and got quite pummled for his effort--- nowadays its a little less tame but art nevertheless- not my cup of tea
Hang on. Yes, we could all unanimously agree from the above plethora of evidence, that the English language is enough to baffle anyone embarking upon taking English lessons as an adult.
Until we think about what it could be like to learn a language that uses not our usual, known alphabet, but "characters" such as in the Chinese or Japanese language. Each character tells a story. While you are getting your head around all the "house-like" shapes etc, you also must be mindful of using the correct almost musical, intonations for each and every word you enunciate. Because if you fail in the latter, then you will most definitely be saying a completely different word, and find yourself in all manner of strife.
So. At least in the English language, when a teenager ends every sentence as if they were asking a question, this does not matter too much, other than creating annoyance in most of us who are subjected to listen to their modern speaking tones. But they do not risk being punched in the mouth for unwittingly saying "the wrong thing".
RadioheadFan123: Dr. Seuss constantly butchered the English language but people loved him.
Along with Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl is also one of my all time favourites.
"The Vicar of Nibbleswick" (which he wrote to raise awareness of dyslexia) will having you in tears. I used to read his books along with many others to my son. (That's what I hated most about him growing up. I was suddenly denied the pleasure of reading such exquisite books, aloud to someone else!!!)
"If you should insinuate that I should tolerate such impudent, bombastic language from a person such as you, I shall horizontalize your perpendicularity.
venere08: From my high school days...."If you should insinuate that I should tolerate such impudent, bombastic language from a person such as you, I shall horizontalize your perpendicularity.In other words, Shut up, or I'll flatten you! "
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him,
but imagine the feminine as being she, shis, and shim.
Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into! the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
*************
Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example...If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but cannot make one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all! but one of them, what do you call it -- one odd and one end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Where else would you park your car on a driveway and drive your car on a parkway?