What Do You Think??? ( Archived) (317)

Feb 25, 2009 7:24 AM CST What Do You Think???
Italy101
Italy101Italy101union, New Jersey USA19 Threads 4 Polls 420 Posts
In response to: If you meet someone and begin a relationship whether it be someone you met in RL or from CS,and they wanted you to leave the site

Would you do leave?

Is it fair that they ask you to?

Just curious
Nope! It's to much fun here, and all the great people u meet here, how can u let that go!!!......
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Feb 25, 2009 7:24 AM CST What Do You Think???
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
Relationships are a series of compromises. I order to allow a relationship to work you give up things and you get things. If I met someone and was building a life together with her yes I would give up this dating site. If I had friends here I would communicate with them outside of CS.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:25 AM CST What Do You Think???
sweetowen
sweetowensweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA289 Threads 5 Polls 8,850 Posts
If Doc & I would end up together, I would think he wouldn't ask me to leave, as he & I BOTH have gotten many friends on here. Of course, I wouldn't be looking anymore. But I wouldn't want to give up chatting with my dear friends on here, either. dunno
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Feb 25, 2009 7:28 AM CST What Do You Think???
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
I think it is easier for people to remain who have met a person here, especially when they have posted in the forums, as the understanding of the fun, the interest and so on will be there.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:31 AM CST What Do You Think???
sweetowen
sweetowensweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA289 Threads 5 Polls 8,850 Posts
Sommerauer71: I think it is easier for people to remain who have met a person here, especially when they have posted in the forums, as the understanding of the fun, the interest and so on will be there.


I agree Sommer. thumbs up
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Feb 25, 2009 7:34 AM CST What Do You Think???
hopefloats
hopefloatshopefloatsSlim's Lady, Tennessee USA51 Threads 6,660 Posts
While I agree with most of the replies already here. I must say this. It would depend on how the SO "acted" in the forums. Actions speak louder than words. I have to say that when I first came into the forums and then later discovered some had SO others, I was totally blown away. Because of their actions on here. They didn't ACT like they had a SO. They acted like the biggest bachelors in the world. If you're in a committed relationship, then ACT like it. Having said this, I wouldn't have any problems whatsoever with my SO staying on a site like this as long as he didn't act like the biggest single here. I hope I'm making some sense here. Sorry if I'm not. I just wanted to give this angle since no one else had.

JMO,
Merkywave
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Feb 25, 2009 7:35 AM CST What Do You Think???
sweetowen
sweetowensweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA289 Threads 5 Polls 8,850 Posts
hopefloats: While I agree with most of the replies already here. I must say this. It would depend on how the SO "acted" in the forums. Actions speak louder than words. I have to say that when I first came into the forums and then later discovered some had SO others, I was totally blown away. Because of their actions on here. They didn't ACT like they had a SO. They acted like the biggest bachelors in the world. If you're in a committed relationship, then ACT like it. Having said this, I wouldn't have any problems whatsoever with my SO staying on a site like this as long as he didn't act like the biggest single here. I hope I'm making some sense here. Sorry if I'm not. I just wanted to give this angle since no one else had.

JMO,
Merky


Merky, that makes TOTAL sense! hug I have a friend going through something like this right now. roll eyes
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Feb 25, 2009 7:36 AM CST What Do You Think???
morgan5
morgan5morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK87 Threads 8,237 Posts
I'm in a relationship with someone i meet socially, have never made a secret of CS and he has no problem with me still being here. If he had asked me to leave i really feel i would have had doubts about the relationship partly thro lack of trust, and feeling i was being told what to do. Think that's a good point Sommer hard for others to understand it if they haven't experienced it.

Sommerauer71: I think it is easier for people to remain who have met a person here, especially when they have posted in the forums, as the understanding of the fun, the interest and so on will be there.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:39 AM CST What Do You Think???
morgan5
morgan5morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK87 Threads 8,237 Posts
hopefloats: While I agree with most of the replies already here. I must say this. It would depend on how the SO "acted" in the forums. Actions speak louder than words. I have to say that when I first came into the forums and then later discovered some had SO others, I was totally blown away. Because of their actions on here. They didn't ACT like they had a SO. They acted like the biggest bachelors in the world. If you're in a committed relationship, then ACT like it. Having said this, I wouldn't have any problems whatsoever with my SO staying on a site like this as long as he didn't act like the biggest single here. I hope I'm making some sense here. Sorry if I'm not. I just wanted to give this angle since no one else had.

JMO,
Merky
wave i agree to me talking to someone on here as if you are single and available is as bad as being unfaithful.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:40 AM CST What Do You Think???
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
hopefloats: While I agree with most of the replies already here. I must say this. It would depend on how the SO "acted" in the forums. Actions speak louder than words. I have to say that when I first came into the forums and then later discovered some had SO others, I was totally blown away. Because of their actions on here. They didn't ACT like they had a SO. They acted like the biggest bachelors in the world. If you're in a committed relationship, then ACT like it. Having said this, I wouldn't have any problems whatsoever with my SO staying on a site like this as long as he didn't act like the biggest single here. I hope I'm making some sense here. Sorry if I'm not. I just wanted to give this angle since no one else had.

JMO,
Merky


Merky, you are so adorable.

It makes sense, totally.

But to be honest, if I saw a person who I knew was attached and they were being, let's say, suggestive towards other members, I would perhaps make a comment, but in all honesty, it would be none of my business.

The road bandit knows I am here, he is neither bothered or says anything about it, he is just does not care. That does not mean he does not care about what I do, it is just that he does not care that I choose to come here.

As I do care where he posts.

We just do not make a big thing of it. It does not affect us.

The minute it does, then it is time to do something about it.

But I would never put this place before any person.

And I would not see it as 'being told what to do'

I lvoe the guy, why would I want to hurt him?
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Feb 25, 2009 7:41 AM CST What Do You Think???
In response to: If you meet someone and begin a relationship whether it be someone you met in RL or from CS,and they wanted you to leave the site

Would you do leave?

Is it fair that they ask you to?

Just curious



This forum is wonderful in that it can be a place for people to start a romance but is also a source of some great connections out there. I am glad for a lot of the people I have met on here both genders just being able to talk or post poetry is great encouragement.
As far as staying I guess it depends on the people but I would tend towards someone who is secure enough to let me stay on these forums.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:44 AM CST What Do You Think???
Lagoona22
Lagoona22Lagoona22Bugibba, Majjistral Malta161 Threads 11 Polls 10,711 Posts
It depends...on the two people involved.....I was talking yesterday to one such person, who has agreed to get a life and move on with his new relatioship....and others, who cannot live without this place....and spend much of their waking hours here...

....for me, I would leave it up to my partner....

If it is stressful for my partner that I am still keeping up with freinds on a dating site, then I would leave. Life was possible before I got on CS, life should be possible post-CS...

...don't ask me how, but it's possible...


laugh
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Feb 25, 2009 7:44 AM CST What Do You Think???
mrali
mralimralikarachi, Sindh Pakistan16 Threads 763 Posts
morgan5: I agree with you, but have heard of situations where people have left because there partners don't like it. I put it down to lack of trust and insecurity.


We should walk together wth comrpmise,understanding and try to be away from disputes
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Feb 25, 2009 7:47 AM CST What Do You Think???
snugglysenior
snugglyseniorsnugglyseniorDover, New Jersey USA38 Threads 1 Polls 284 Posts
You made perfect sense. thumbs up thumbs up
hopefloats: While I agree with most of the replies already here. I must say this. It would depend on how the SO "acted" in the forums. Actions speak louder than words. I have to say that when I first came into the forums and then later discovered some had SO others, I was totally blown away. Because of their actions on here. They didn't ACT like they had a SO. They acted like the biggest bachelors in the world. If you're in a committed relationship, then ACT like it. Having said this, I wouldn't have any problems whatsoever with my SO staying on a site like this as long as he didn't act like the biggest single here. I hope I'm making some sense here. Sorry if I'm not. I just wanted to give this angle since no one else had.

JMO,
Merky
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Feb 25, 2009 7:48 AM CST What Do You Think???
morgan5
morgan5morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK87 Threads 8,237 Posts
Lagoona22: It depends...on the two people involved.....I was talking yesterday to one such person, who has agreed to get a life and move on with his new relatioship....and others, who cannot live without this place....and spend much of their waking hours here...

....for me, I would leave it up to my partner....

If it is stressful for my partner that I am still keeping up with freinds on a dating site, then I would leave. Life was possible before I got on CS, life should be possible post-CS...

...don't ask me how, but it's possible...
wave Can see what your saying, this place pulled me thro some tough times in a weird way, and i value that. Guess i'm lucky he understands that and it is not an issue in the relationship.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:50 AM CST What Do You Think???
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA502 Threads 14 Polls 5,902 Posts
In response to: If you meet someone and begin a relationship whether it be someone you met in RL or from CS,and they wanted you to leave the site

Would you do leave?

Is it fair that they ask you to?

Just curious


just beginning a relationship and they are trying/asking me to sacrifice something as harmless as this? RED FLAG
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Feb 25, 2009 7:54 AM CST What Do You Think???
sweetowen
sweetowensweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA289 Threads 5 Polls 8,850 Posts
If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. You have to be able to let your SO go & trust that they'll come back to you. You can't keep tabs on them 24/7. I'm going through a situation with some friends right now that deals with this very issue. roll eyes
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Feb 25, 2009 7:54 AM CST What Do You Think???
hopefloats
hopefloatshopefloatsSlim's Lady, Tennessee USA51 Threads 6,660 Posts
morgan5: i agree to me talking to someone on here as if you are single and available is as bad as being unfaithful.



I strongly concur!thumbs up
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Feb 25, 2009 7:56 AM CST What Do You Think???
morgan5
morgan5morgan5chelmsford, Essex, England UK87 Threads 8,237 Posts
sweetowen: If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. You have to be able to let your SO go & trust that they'll come back to you. You can't keep tabs on them 24/7. I'm going through a situation with some friends right now that deals with this very issue.
wave good point without trust there is nothing.
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Feb 25, 2009 7:56 AM CST What Do You Think???
hopefloats
hopefloatshopefloatsSlim's Lady, Tennessee USA51 Threads 6,660 Posts
sweetowen: If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. You have to be able to let your SO go & trust that they'll come back to you. You can't keep tabs on them 24/7. I'm going through a situation with some friends right now that deals with this very issue.



Obviously said partner has given reasons NOT to be trusted. Otherwise the following around wouldn't be needed. On the otherhand, I wouldn't HAVE someone that I had to follow around 24/7 and NOT be able to trust. very mad
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