she phones me daily
in the middle of the night
loves coffee and bailey's
and sometimes coors light
such a mystery lady
always heard, seldom seen
her favorite expression
"you know what I mean?"
her mercurian mood swings
just keep me guessing
if she's in a good one
I call that a blessing
but if she's in a bad one
I run for the hills
to find liquor myself
and a number of pills
she sure knows her football
she hangs on each play
should 'bama be losing
stay out of her way
unless you enjoy
a big, bloody nose
'tis best to be silent
and stay on one's toes
but when they are winning
she laughs and she cries
"that's what I'm talkin''bout baby
just roll on tide"
her many admirers
with her try to flirt
of crimson and white
they give her t-shirts
it doesn't look good boys
best run home to mother
seems her beloved 'bama's
just lost to another