Why are there so many Divorces these days, I would like your honest opinion (103)
romanticman4ubrainerd, Minnesota USA11 Threads 7 Polls 494 PostsGodsgift: If these darned weemin would just go back to love, honour and obey, there would be far less divorces! So come on girls. You've only yourselves to blame. Just do as you're told!
Wow that fox hole your in I hope its deep, ps be aware of women with shovels
Wow everyone great posts by all, its great to get so many different points of view on this subject, when I bartended for the Legion I paid close attention to my elderly clients relationships. Many couples with 30 to 60 years of marriage, what I saw were these couples having mutual respect for each other, doing for one another in small ways and big ways and compromise. In asking one of my customers on his 50th wedding anniversary what was the secret to thier long marriage ..he answered Yes MAAM
I believe dating is simply taking a good amount of time to get to know someone. As one of the posts said don't ignore the red flags and that inner voice telling you something is wrong. That advice is sound and hopefully prevent a person from making a wrong decision. Thankyou to all who posted...godbless ps hoping my next poll is less serious and more fun.
I believe dating is simply taking a good amount of time to get to know someone. As one of the posts said don't ignore the red flags and that inner voice telling you something is wrong. That advice is sound and hopefully prevent a person from making a wrong decision. Thankyou to all who posted...godbless ps hoping my next poll is less serious and more fun.Just wasn't a good match and we grew apart. That and she became a junkie.
whaaat: for BETTER AND WORSE...RICHER AND POOR..... IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH....old fashioned values dont exist any more.
I will stick to that one day
I will stick to that one day
Its wrong to say "old fashioned" valus dont exist. is always there and there is nothing old about it . West is largly addicted to consumerism .anything and everything is despensible ,including relationships I suppose people try marriage in west after trying everything else, having a fairly good amout of relationships, boy frieds girl frieds ,comming to marriage with a lot of baggaes having done all which are supposed to be done within marriage. so its very difficult to maintain a relationship on a long term . dissatifaction can creep up easly as your mind tend to compare things with your past relationships . wedding vows can just be another "I agree" statements you see in the bottom when you want to open an email account . to get an Idea about this mentality just look at what women/men looking from their partent in CS - They are looking for nothing short of perfection ,do we need perfection in love and relationships ? can we make people pefect by our love ? .If you are shopping for a "partner product" then the relashioship is bound to fail. Marriage need purpose and inner commitment and a passion for sharing good and bad equally. Having spiritualty in relationship is most importat ,you will be able to understand and acceept people and be commited to each other no matter what .
sweetlyscented1: can I come to your wedding, you would look BEAUTIFUL will a lilly in your hair and a grass skirt
Of course you can be my maid of honour But only in the summer have to grow my hair some more... seeing as I will only be wearing a lilly and a grass skirt ..... And at the rate romance works on here I will be too old for such a dream
.... 
Your such a sweetie
I was looking at stats and actually overall the divorce has declined the past few years. Peak year 1981, recent lowest is on par with 1970.
Conflicting personal beliefs and dissatisfaction with marriage increases with time.
Conflicting personal beliefs and dissatisfaction with marriage increases with time.
@ Bolly Dude you are insightful!
But I must add, what I observed was that some people would tend to get married to have that special day, where everything is supposed to be perfect, everyone looking good, smelling good, inside an old chapel with birds that don't crap! Seriously, they have adult receptions (no kids allowed), and it seems to pop-up more often (at least in my entourage). There even was an occasion when they wanted a child shipped to be the ring bearer. I always thought marriage was about building a home for a possible familly... its become superficial. All about the GLAMOUR.
As stated by many: seflishness, individualism, lazyness/unwillingness to compromise... but there's also the fact that a lot of people rush things and skip the part where they should get to really know their partner and appreciate them in spite of their flaws.
And lastly, pay attention to the said red flags, some are trivial but others are to be taken seriously... if your partner is violent tempered, stop the wishful thinking; it'll only result in bruised body and/or soul.
But I must add, what I observed was that some people would tend to get married to have that special day, where everything is supposed to be perfect, everyone looking good, smelling good, inside an old chapel with birds that don't crap! Seriously, they have adult receptions (no kids allowed), and it seems to pop-up more often (at least in my entourage). There even was an occasion when they wanted a child shipped to be the ring bearer. I always thought marriage was about building a home for a possible familly... its become superficial. All about the GLAMOUR.
As stated by many: seflishness, individualism, lazyness/unwillingness to compromise... but there's also the fact that a lot of people rush things and skip the part where they should get to really know their partner and appreciate them in spite of their flaws.
And lastly, pay attention to the said red flags, some are trivial but others are to be taken seriously... if your partner is violent tempered, stop the wishful thinking; it'll only result in bruised body and/or soul.
romanticman4u: I am not here to judge the divorced but understand why people divorce , hoping to learn something from all the answers and maybe others could benefit from the answers given.
The male-female roles in relationships are still going through transition. A transition that started in the 70's when more women started working. It changed the dynamics of a relationship and change doesn't happen over night. There is so much more to this. I wrote a paper on this and have explored this issue of divorce rates at great lengths. There a many variables that contribute to the escalating divorce rates, and I can say that it begins with the self and how modern society has influenced the way we look at relationships. I'm too lazy to go into depth about this since it would require two gigantic posts at least, and I can't put it in a tidy nutshell.
There are plenty of studies you can look at. Search is your friend on Google.
Most of those options you listed can depict our society in a collective sense.
romanticman4u: I am not here to judge the divorced but understand why people divorce , hoping to learn something from all the answers and maybe others could benefit from the answers given.
Because it is available.......
romanticman4u: I am not here to judge the divorced but understand why people divorce , hoping to learn something from all the answers and maybe others could benefit from the answers given.
everything I have read points to infidelity as the #1 cause of divorce with money being 2nd.
Sometimes the root causes are really the underlying cause - I mean infidelity often occurs when a mate feels neglected - not that that makes it OK. So maybe the couple has just grown apart & the person who is unfaithful doesn't want to try to reignite things.
as far as money, people always say they don't care about money - but you have to care or not care about it in the same way....
trurorob: May we debate that??
No its to easy to go to jail here! We marry for different reasons and more often than not, we let routine creep in and forget what brought us together in the first place. Cheating and other reasons ussually given are just the symptoms of the real problem, marriage being found on a shaky foundation that will definitely crumble when under pressure.
romanticman4u: I am not here to judge the divorced but understand why people divorce , hoping to learn something from all the answers and maybe others could benefit from the answers given.
You forgot to add Recession as well 
todger: Also if I found my soul mate I would get married in a grass skirt with a lilly for hair decor
Why does it have to cost so much to declare ones love for another
Why does it have to cost so much to declare ones love for another
So true, Todger. All I would want is a simple marriage with vows. Keep it simple and honest.
Dobe
EarthAngelinLove: Because people don't believe in doing what it takes to make it last forever
What seems to happen often, is one partner wants to go the all the way, and the other partner doesn't care as much; and just one partner cannot a marriage make by him or herself
EA
What seems to happen often, is one partner wants to go the all the way, and the other partner doesn't care as much; and just one partner cannot a marriage make by him or herself
EA
Exactly.
The Dobe
I was thinking the same thing not to long ago and it came to me like a light turned on
It is selfishness it causes the cheating and abusive behavior because they have allowed themselves to not care and take the other person for granted and when you have a mind set that you are not going to give up what you want for someone else you are headed down that road think about it if both were at least willing to give up most of their wants for the other persons wants they both would be tripping over each other trying to please the other 100-100 both doing the work
It is selfishness it causes the cheating and abusive behavior because they have allowed themselves to not care and take the other person for granted and when you have a mind set that you are not going to give up what you want for someone else you are headed down that road think about it if both were at least willing to give up most of their wants for the other persons wants they both would be tripping over each other trying to please the other 100-100 both doing the work
mysticsane: its just simple......people are just SELFISH!!!!!!
they just want to be what they want to...without knowing the consequences BEFORE the MARRIAGE and AFTER the DIVORCE.,,.,
they just want to be what they want to...without knowing the consequences BEFORE the MARRIAGE and AFTER the DIVORCE.,,.,
todger: WELL ON HERE IT SUCKS BUT IN REAL LIFE I WOULD LIKE A CEREMONY WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO DECLARE OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER....
I agree again, a small ceremony in a garden with loved ones there and say vows and say I love you to each other.
RayfromUSA: A few points to consider in this discussion:- breaking up the "nuclear family" means two taxable incomes instead of one.
- it nearly double the need for consumer goods.
- it takes childcare and values training out of the home and assigns it to schools and the media
- It removes one role model (usually the male) from children's daily lives.
- It creates more dependence upon state-run aid programs.
- etc.
All of the above work together to push society toward the socialist "providential state" paradigm.
So there is clear motive for the social engineers to have promoted the breakup of families, using the press, films, the media, and the educational system to push the agenda along.
- it nearly double the need for consumer goods.
- it takes childcare and values training out of the home and assigns it to schools and the media
- It removes one role model (usually the male) from children's daily lives.
- It creates more dependence upon state-run aid programs.
- etc.
All of the above work together to push society toward the socialist "providential state" paradigm.
So there is clear motive for the social engineers to have promoted the breakup of families, using the press, films, the media, and the educational system to push the agenda along.
Very good points, Ray
Dobe
Because it´s easier to end a failed marriage now than in the past, both in legal and social acceptability terms.
I´m not entirely convinced that the divorce rate would be much higher today than in the past if those same terms applied then.
I´m not entirely convinced that the divorce rate would be much higher today than in the past if those same terms applied then.
Because people are more in love with themselves than with their partner.
They want a dream relationship where everything is always easy and centered around them and their immediate needs.
A relationship is work but it should be work you enjoy. A common goal of two people. Thick and thin to the very end. If you choose the person you commit to based on that standard it makes you much more serious about being sure you are getting the right person.
They want a dream relationship where everything is always easy and centered around them and their immediate needs.
A relationship is work but it should be work you enjoy. A common goal of two people. Thick and thin to the very end. If you choose the person you commit to based on that standard it makes you much more serious about being sure you are getting the right person.
mjames: Statistics show cheating and then money problems.
Cheating and money problems have always existed, so I´ll stick to the comments I made earlier, unless I can be convinced otherwise.
There would be no divorce if people would just live together.
It is easier to cut & run, than it is to take a serious look at what role you played...
HJFinAZ: It is easier to cut & run, than it is to take a serious look at what role you played...
Better they cut and run before you get married. Some people just can't take confrontation.
Because divorce is always the easy way out.Now I can fully understand not wishing to subject yourself to a continuing abusive relationship.
katt1017: Because people are more in love with themselves than with their partner.
Meh. If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else.
And that selfish "me first" attitude is just raw animal instinct. It comes naturally. Whether we acknowledge it or not.
Like I said in my earlier post. We're not hardwired for monogamy. We really just aren't made to mate for life, that's an add-on/pressure of society.
I’m a nut magnet, which means that crazy people are drawn to me for some odd reason. Most of my issues with men other than the fact that their just slap crazy, their also very selfish as well. Hopefully that one day I will meet a normal man who I will find attractive.
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