Create Poll

Newest Jokes & Humor Polls (635)

Here is a list of Jokes & Humor Polls ordered by Newest, posted by members. To vote, click radio button next to your choice. Votes are anonymous. To view discussion of a poll, click "comments" link. Click here to post a poll.

Ready to Mingle! Join Now to browse Singles!

Looks like you are not logged in currently. You are just one step away!

To view more users, please Login or Register

Which drunken celebrity would you drive home if they asked?

Charley Sheen.
11
32%
Lindsay Lohan.
5
15%
Mel Gibson.
3
9%
Axel Rose.
3
9%
Paris hilton
12
35%
Total Votes
34

View Comments (23)

Which is your favorite icon?

Dancing banana.
13
33%
Scolding professor.
2
5%
Cheerleader.
4
10%
Angel.
11
28%
Devil.
4
10%
Clueless.
0
0%
Peace.
5
13%
Total Votes
39
You can't help but to love these things....

View Comments (19)

What's the best way to measure a person's intelligence?

which school they attended.
0
0%
What type of degree they hold.
3
9%
What type of job they hold.
3
9%
What achievements they have.
14
44%
If they talk too much or not.
12
38%
Total Votes
32

View Comments (51)

Which person's house would you go trick or treating to?

The delusional old lady with the green teeth.
4
14%
The spaced out stoner.
10
36%
The 30 something vegan nudist.
14
50%
Total Votes
28
Trick or treat...

View Comments (1)

Which secret do you think is being hidden from the world?

U.S. government hides the extstance of aliens.
33
45%
Car that runs without gasoline is developed.
28
38%
Cure for the common cold discovered.
13
18%
Total Votes
74
Your secret is safe with me....

View Comments (79)

Men using umbrellas manly

yes
35
56%
no
8
13%
gay
9
15%
not made of sugar they wont melt
10
16%
Total Votes
62
women using umbrellas ok they spend alot on hair dos and the use of make up moved from country to city men using umbrellas i think is gay ur not made of sugar u wont melt...

View Comments (37)

Which aliens do you think we could beat if they really invaded Earth?

Daleks.
2
11%
Romulans.
4
22%
The Zerg.
4
22%
The Kree.
1
6%
Cybermen.
3
17%
The Brelac.
4
22%
Total Votes
18
Watch the skies....

View Comments (34)

What would you do if you were quitting your job?

Cuss out your boss.
5
15%
Cuss out that certain co-worker.
4
12%
Take some valium and leave graciously.
24
73%
Total Votes
33

View Comments (8)

#2. Which supernatural event do you think could really happen?

Plants attack Humans.
2
3%
Asteroid crashes into earth.
19
32%
Worldwide viral outbreak.
17
29%
Machines rebel against humans.
3
5%
Talking dog discovered.
5
8%
1st successful human brain transplant.
3
5%
Satan gets reality TV show.
10
17%
Total Votes
59
I hope I'm not around if any of this happens....

View Comments (8)

Which supernatural event do you think could really Happen?

Alien invasion.
5
12%
Zombie outbreak.
3
7%
Giant monster attack.
3
7%
Joe Biden elected president.
3
7%
Aliens send signals from deep space.
12
28%
Bigfoot captured alive.
2
5%
Honest politician discovered.
12
28%
Vampires are real.
2
5%
The Pittsburgh Pirates have winning season.
1
2%
Total Votes
43
The possibilities are endless....

View Comments (10)

Can we leave this planet someday?

Yes, but we will be ruled from Earth
18
35%
Yes, and we can choose our own government
18
35%
No
15
29%
Total Votes
51
I mean leave this planet ALIVE...

View Comments (72)

What would you do if you had your own clone?

Stay home and send the clone to work.
37
61%
Double date.
5
8%
Start fights and have the clone finish them.
3
5%
Now you can finally kick yourself.
6
10%
You do the dishes. The clone mows the lawn.
10
16%
Total Votes
61

View Comments (12)

What would be a really bad idea?

Loaning money to a relative.
8
15%
Dating a co-worker.
2
4%
Dating your boss.
11
20%
Buying your kid a scorpion as a pet.
12
22%
Trying to wrestle a pit bull.
11
20%
Electing Joe Biden as President.
10
19%
Total Votes
54

View Comments (21)

Who would YOU vote for in the upcoming presidential election?

E-Trader Baby. He's good with numbers.
5
16%
Harry Potter. He could make congress disappear.
15
48%
Chef Gordon Ramsey. We'll all eat healthier.
11
35%
Total Votes
31
I'm still going for the R and R....

View Comments (12)

What would be the concert event of the year?

AC/DC, Dropkick Murphy's, Rob Zombie.
17
42%
Celine Dione, Katy Perry, Beyonce.
14
35%
Barry Manilow, Air Supply, Journey.
9
22%
Total Votes
40
I'm not giving away my pick. But small hint. #3 NO WAY! #2 if I'm with a really hot date....

View Comments (6)

Which Olympics event would you want to see?

Human pinata.
6
14%
Politicians B-S biathalon.
5
12%
Texting while running. 1000 meters.
31
74%
Total Votes
42
Good bye Olympics. See you in 2016....

Which alien would you want as a room mate?

Klingon.
3
9%
Vulcan.
14
41%
Brelac.
1
3%
Dalek.
5
15%
Predator.
11
32%
Skrull.
0
0%
Sontaran.
0
0%
Total Votes
34
On second thought, there's no room at the inn....

View Comments (26)

Which vacation idea would you pick?

Running with the bulls in Pamplona Spain.
3
6%
U.F.O watching in Roswell New Mexico.
11
22%
Camping out at Loch Ness.
15
29%
Alligator hunting in Florida.
3
6%
Fishing for sharks off Hawaii.
15
29%
Taking a brief tour of Cherynobl.
4
8%
Total Votes
51
Picking #1 above all others. I'm actually going to Pamplona one day....

View Comments (3)

Which type of ghost would you live with?

Woman carrying severed screaming head.
2
5%
Spectral clown.
2
5%
Little girl phantom.
10
23%
Skeleton with chain saw.
3
7%
Peeping tom poltergeist
1
2%
Ghost dog.
25
58%
Total Votes
43
it doesn't matter which type of ghost i have. if I'm paying the bills and it's my house, then they're not staying there rent free....

View Comments (4)

If you could see one future event which one would you chose?

Winning lottery numbers.
30
75%
If the person your kid marries is a loser or not.
7
18%
take the unbrella or not when they call for rain.
3
8%
Total Votes
40
#1 without a doubt....

View Comments (3)

What's the best way to get someone's personal information?

Listen to their cell phone conversation.
8
24%
Search their trash.
8
24%
Ask their Ex.
17
52%
Total Votes
33
I'll pick one. Some of these people talk so loudly on their phones that picking up details about them isn't hard....

View Comments (7)

Which person would you let your kid marry?

A satanist. Christmas dinner will be awkward.
7
25%
An ex mental patient and canibal turned vegan.
5
18%
A cyclops, who works as an optometrist.
16
57%
Total Votes
28
This is a time when I'm glad that I don't have kids....

View Comments (3)

Which super power would you like to have?

Super strength.
3
4%
Teleportation.
15
22%
Invisibility.
31
46%
Flight.
9
13%
Invulnerability.
3
4%
Intangibility.
1
1%
Shape shifting.
5
7%
Total Votes
67
I'd like the ability to save more money. That would really be super....

View Comments (25)

Which mythical creature would you want to have as a pet?

Dragon
34
63%
Chimera
4
7%
Griffin
8
15%
Gremlin
7
13%
Harpy
1
2%
Total Votes
54
Visualize a very big cage. And lots of newspapers. Lots of newspapers....

View Comments (68)

The Sign Says "WET PAINT" ~Do You~

Touch to see if it is dry yet
27
46%
Repect the sign and don't touch
21
36%
Inscribe your initials in it
3
5%
Take down the sign
3
5%
Wish you could have chosen the color
5
8%
Total Votes
59
The Painted area is a public restroom and the color used is lime green....

Search Polls

Would YOU like to create a poll on Connecting Singles?

Click here to create a poll. Enter a question and up to 10 multiple choice answers and your poll will be up and running on the CS Polls page. Your poll will also appear in the ConnectingSingles Forums for comments by other members.

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here