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Jokes & Humor Polls (713)

Here is a list of Jokes & Humor Polls. To vote, click radio button next to your choice. Votes are anonymous. To view discussion of a poll, click "comments" link. Click here to post a poll.

Where do all you Europeans get the American Flags that you sleep under every night ?

Flag City in Findley, Ohio USA
1
11%
The White House from POTUS Trump USA
0
0%
Galrads USA
2
22%
Russia
2
22%
Iran
0
0%
Canada
0
0%
Syria
0
0%
New Jersey USA
1
11%
My dad makes them
1
11%
Other
2
22%
Total Votes
9
Just curious where all you Europeans get the American FlagS that you sleep under every night ?...

View Comments (34)

Confess, your underwear should be tossed.

So elastic is gone, pants hold them up.
8%
1 Votes
So the sock falls down, doesn't have a hole or worn see thru.
0%
0 Votes
Well, they used to be bright and dark.
8%
1 Votes
If I pull the straps up more, still fits, even if up my back.
8%
1 Votes
That is a little hole and not important.
8%
1 Votes
so what, grey or yellow are colors aren't they?
0%
0 Votes
I will toss them next time...really!
23%
3 Votes
But, they are not THAT thin,
8%
1 Votes
Why wear the new ones, not going anywhere but, in the house.
38%
5 Votes
13 Total Votes
Talking with others, at least my age group. We all agree..we keep wearing underwear that others would say are worn out and toss. But, we can't bring ourselves to do it. Just one more wearing. sigh..into the wash..next time. No one will see them anywa...Read more

View Comments (47)

Has anyone used the wrong name during an intimate moment?

Yes, happens everytime
4
19%
Never
10
48%
I say galrads all the time
1
5%
Other
6
29%
Total Votes
21
I bet this will be the quietist poll ever on cs....

View Comments (64)

What has been the biggest threat in 2020 ?

Murder Hornets
0
0%
Covid-19
22
52%
Sniper Monkeys
0
0%
Toilet Paper Shortage
2
5%
Carole Baskin
0
0%
Banned from Posting in the CS forums and blogs
3
7%
Other
15
36%
Total Votes
42
I vote number 6...

View Comments (47)

You know you have made it when...

You get a gold star
0
0%
You are asked to speak to a crowd
2
20%
You get a star on a sidewalk
0
0%
you get your face on a coin
0
0%
everyone hates you
3
30%
everyone adores you
1
10%
you get a monument
0
0%
soemthing else
4
40%
Total Votes
10
Famous people get likenesses on a coin, streets named after themselves and the rest. Average if lucky get a kid named after them. I have a headstone....

View Comments (7)

Can you guess the type of fish tattooed on this person?

Gold Fish
1
11%
Common carp
0
0%
Guppy
1
11%
Tilapia
1
11%
Koi
3
33%
Bass
0
0%
Trout
0
0%
Cat
0
0%
Star
1
11%
Other
2
22%
Total Votes
9
So what kind of fish is it?...

View Comments (22)

Which do you prefer CoronaVirus or CoronaExtra

Virus
4
25%
Extra
9
56%
CoronaGalrads
3
19%
Total Votes
16
I’ll go with Extra...

View Comments (4)

Do you think insanity is endemic amongst women on CS, or are they going trough the change.

Insane women are attracted to men of the same
3
20%
they are going thruugh the change
1
7%
men have driven them this way
8
53%
they just show off a bit
3
20%
Total Votes
15
I am conducting a poll on what people think...

View Comments (35)

Who would you rather do business with: Michael Corleone or Tony Montana

Tony Montana... Money, Power, Woman
0%
0 Votes
Michael Corleone... I don’t feel I have to wipe everyone out, Tom, just my enemies.
50%
3 Votes
Either
0%
0 Votes
Neither
50%
3 Votes
6 Total Votes
da chi vuoi essere fregato. Which One and why .... Advance to @ 12 minutes into this interview with Al Pacino...

View Comments (3)

USA to put humans on the moon again in 2021 ... Who will foot the bill?

Mexico
12%
2 Votes
Ukraine
6%
1 Votes
All other member NATO nations
12%
2 Votes
Vietnam
6%
1 Votes
Tesla
6%
1 Votes
Great Britain’s Monarchy will as settlement for burning the USA’s Whitehouse.
0%
0 Votes
Canada
0%
0 Votes
The Winner’s award in the next Eurovision contest
0%
0 Votes
All the above
18%
3 Votes
Other
41%
7 Votes
17 Total Votes
USA to put humans on the moon again in 2021 Who will pay to do this again?...

View Comments (13)

How Many Men Sit Down to PEE ?

I am a man and I sit down to pee
11
39%
I am a man and I stand to pee
8
29%
I am a woman and I stand to pee
2
7%
I am a woman and I sit to pee
3
11%
I am not normal so I can do either
1
4%
You are a Mess, Lol
3
11%
Total Votes
28

View Comments (57)

How Ugly Is Your Dog ?

Ugly
1
14%
Uglier Than Yours
0
0%
Pretty Fookin Ugly
2
29%
Uglier Than Sin
0
0%
Almost As Ugly As Galrads
4
57%
Total Votes
7
I think my niece has the ugliest dog. How ugly is my nieces dog? My nieces dog is so ugly it looks like she shaved it and trained it to walk backwards.... How ugly is your dog?...

View Comments (19)

Ladies, which man would you choose?

1. Politico Know-it-All - Constantly going on about politics.
12%
1 Votes
2. Abused Baby - Whinging about how rotten and bad women are.
0%
0 Votes
3. Racy Tracy - getting into petty squabbles about race and ethnicity.
0%
0 Votes
4. Attention Whores - all posts are basically about one thing - them.
0%
0 Votes
5. White Knights - taking any opportunity to ingratiate themselves with the female fraternity.
25%
2 Votes
6. The Eternal Pessimist - the world is ending, we're all damned.
0%
0 Votes
7. The School Teacher - constantly banging on trying to educate you heathen masses.
0%
0 Votes
8. The Monster Shlongs - size matters and he will remind you daily.
25%
2 Votes
9. The Poll Punk - inundating the forums with senseless polls.
12%
1 Votes
10. Mister Smutty - choosing every opportunity to make sexual innuendos.
25%
2 Votes
8 Total Votes
You can tell a lot by what people post. if you are observant, after a long while particular patterns emerge, which if you have basic emotional skills, will tell you what type of character you are dealing with. Now after months and years of avidly f...Read more

View Comments (32)

What is your favorite animal

I love all kinds of animals!
20
67%
Reptile
1
3%
Fish
1
3%
Aquatic Mammal
0
0%
Land Mammal
7
23%
Bird
1
3%
Insect
0
0%
I hate animals!
0
0%
Total Votes
30
There are many kinds of animals. I can't mention them one by one in the options above. I myself know what animal I will choose. So generally, what is your favorite animal? Don't forget to explain your reason in the comment....

View Comments (36)

How would you like to die?

In a pyroclasmic woosh - a volcanic eruption!- you're gone in an instant.
3%
1 Votes
Double-decker bus driven by a getaway bank robber.
0%
0 Votes
A Great White takes you on your Caribbean holiday.
0%
0 Votes
Having wicked sex with overweight ex.
8%
3 Votes
In a pub brawl after a soccer match - your team lost.
0%
0 Votes
Watching telly at home, with a peanut in your throat.
0%
0 Votes
Heart attack - it was all those kebabs, you fool!
3%
1 Votes
Mad Cow Disease - it was all those kebabs, you fool!
3%
1 Votes
Pure boredom - after 25 years on CS, you die of unrequited love and a broken heart.
11%
4 Votes
Softly, gently in your sleep, to the sound of the 'Gladiator' theme music.
74%
28 Votes
38 Total Votes
Look, it's going to happen, so make your choice right here before all the good ones are gone, and pay on the way out, ok?...

View Comments (72)

Why, when you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils?

They are fertilized just before
1
9%
They dilate
5
45%
They are used to scare off flies and worms
5
45%
Total Votes
11
The eyes have it...

View Comments (13)

The Stars Are Out Of Alignment.... Again

I Noticed It In Real Life & On Line
1
8%
Nope, Same As Usual
6
46%
It Is Only C.S Regulars
1
8%
If You Build It They Will Come
0
0%
The Invasion Of The Body Snatchers /THEY LIVE
0
0%
Mandela Effect
0
0%
CERN Or Stargate
1
8%
5G !
1
8%
Turn In Your Telescope!
1
8%
Extraterrestrials Have Landed
2
15%
Total Votes
13
Had a strange or bizarre last 24-72 hours? Do you feel like the stars are out of alignment, or what?...

View Comments (11)

Are you wasting your time on earth?

Yes
5
20%
No
10
40%
Maybe
9
36%
I like turtles!
1
4%
Total Votes
25
Think about it. Life is short. Take all the time you need....

View Comments (11)

Does Howdy Doody Have Wooden Balls?

Yes
4
36%
No
2
18%
Only his twin brother knows for sure.
5
45%
Other
0
0%
Total Votes
11
Does Howdy Doody Have Wooden Balls?

View Comments (13)

The Earth is...

round
25
81%
flat
3
10%
square
0
0%
I have no idea
1
3%
what's the Earth?
0
0%
I'm an alien
2
6%
Total Votes
31
Yesterday I visited a local forum and found its members very seriously discussing whether the Earth is round or flat. I had quite a good laugh reading their answers. Let's see what the Connecting Singles' forum members think about...

View Comments (22)

how do you like your spaghetti prepared

with butter
1
3%
marinara sauce
12
39%
alla puttanesca
2
6%
pesto
2
6%
alfredo
2
6%
vodka
0
0%
butter
1
3%
bolgnese
4
13%
arrabbiata sauce
1
3%
Creamy Wild Mushroom Sauce
6
19%
Total Votes
31
this is how my bros and I would put it away on Sunday afternoons...

View Comments (44)

What is your favorite hobby

camping
1
4%
watching T.V.
6
26%
collecting keys
1
4%
collecting stamps
0
0%
music
8
35%
reading books
7
30%
Total Votes
23
I have a joke for everyone. A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hay the horse says sure, HA.HA. What did the tomato say to the salad? i am dressing..HA.HA.. What did the banana say to the orange? ....you are ap...Read more

View Comments (26)

What is the most important part of our bodies?

Head
7
21%
Heart
14
41%
Eyes
3
9%
Lungs
2
6%
Arse hole
5
15%
Genitalia
1
3%
Feet
0
0%
Ears
0
0%
Hips
0
0%
Other
2
6%
Total Votes
34
I’ll go with the Heart ..... What do you think is the most important part of our bodies? And Why?...

View Comments (40)

Which food item would you eat on a dare?

Spinach in the can
12
29%
Tofu
3
7%
Tripe
2
5%
Canned spam
8
20%
12 raw oysters
16
39%
Total Votes
41
Go for the gross out....

View Comments (4)

Would you rather be able to...

Fly
25
39%
Read mind
39
61%
Total Votes
64
Honest Answer........

View Comments (1)

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