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Jokes & Humor Polls (767)

Here is a list of Jokes & Humor Polls. To vote, click radio button next to your choice. Votes are anonymous. To view discussion of a poll, click "comments" link. Click here to post a poll.

Let's say you died suddenly and wasn't sure where you 'landed'. What signs would you look for...?

lots of fire/devils
8%
1 Votes
lots of clouds/angels
8%
1 Votes
mean-looking giants guarding gates
0%
0 Votes
happy-looking people in white robes singing "hosanna"
0%
0 Votes
someone giving directions to people standing in long lines
8%
1 Votes
whether you were wearing a white robe and wings, with a halo above your head
0%
0 Votes
whether you were wearing a red skin-tight suit with a tail, and holding a red pitch fork
0%
0 Votes
angry-looking people arguing with an Archangel
0%
0 Votes
All of the above
8%
1 Votes
None of the above
67%
8 Votes
12 Total Votes
Ever thought about it? If not, why not give it a go. Have fun yo'all!!!!...

View Comments (22)

Do you like your photo on your Drivers License or other ID .

Yes
4
44%
No
4
44%
Other
1
11%
I don't have a Drivers License or other ID
0
0%
Other
0
0%
Total Votes
9
I just renewed my REAL ID-compliant driver’s license and my photo sucks....

Have you ever seen a UFO and suffered a health problem afterwards?

Radiologic burns on skin
0
0%
Brain damage
0
0%
vision problems
0
0%
Hair thinning
0
0%
Nails curling
1
14%
Ears droop
0
0%
Nerve damage
1
14%
Marks on body parts
1
14%
Nightly nose bleeds
0
0%
Other
4
57%
Total Votes
7
What are governments not telling us?...

View Comments (25)

women who are...concerned about their waistline?

Could wear a corset
2
18%
Could have a tummy tuck
0
0%
Could diet
1
9%
Could exorcize
3
27%
Could have lots of sex
2
18%
Could ask for advice
0
0%
Could eat more
0
0%
Could run marathons
0
0%
Could buy a skipping rope
0
0%
Could do northing
3
27%
Total Votes
11

View Comments (6)

Trudeau

You put him in, Canada, now You get him out! before he gets you...
71%
5 Votes
Heil Trudeau!
14%
1 Votes
Only some_body like OP would post rubbish like this!
0%
0 Votes
Nuts!
14%
1 Votes
Drop your pants! A duck pops out!
0%
0 Votes
NOT funny. This is rubbish.
0%
0 Votes
Shut up.
0%
0 Votes
SHUT UP! YOU'RE DRUNK!!! SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0%
0 Votes
357 in bum?
0%
0 Votes
Im offended, i'll report you! I'll pull your pants down! You better be a girl!
0%
0 Votes
7 Total Votes
I remember one of the reasons you put The Tru Hitler in! You said you wanted someone "positive thinking!" The stupidity was mind-numbing. But now the stupidity doesn't exist because you need some brain function to even support stupidity!...

View Comments (6)

I want women to know?

wearing a padded bra is cheating
0
0%
too much makeup is for clowns
5
42%
fake nails are tacky
0
0%
waxed legs feel much...better than hairy ones
0
0%
the ladies garden...looks much better when mowed
3
25%
hair extensions might fall out
0
0%
heels make their butt look bigger
0
0%
mini skirts are a good idea
1
8%
too much cleavage can be distracting for a man
0
0%
i wish some of you a lovely day
3
25%
Total Votes
12
vote now...

View Comments (30)

have you ever...gone swimming naked?

yes
17
57%
no
13
43%
Total Votes
30
just a bit of humour...

View Comments (30)

do you think...women good in bed?

No
3
14%
yes
19
86%
Total Votes
22

View Comments (59)

which his and hers...do you think...is most popular?

his and hers onesie
1
14%
his and hers pillow cases
0
0%
his and hers underwear
1
14%
his and hers blankets
0
0%
his and hers t shirts
3
43%
his and hers socks
0
0%
his and hers slippers
1
14%
his and hers hats
1
14%
his and hers gloves
0
0%
his and hers jewellery
0
0%
Total Votes
7
do women like his and hers?...

View Comments (2)

are women on cs...good at flirting?

No
5
29%
Yes
2
12%
Hopeless at flirting
3
18%
Great at flirting
2
12%
they have forgotten how to flirt
2
12%
They should be..they have had...plenty of practice
0
0%
notice seen evidence...they can flirt
1
6%
seen plenty of evidence...they can flirt
1
6%
other no
1
6%
other yes
0
0%
Total Votes
17
discuss and vote...

View Comments (37)

Should we ban gas stoves and ovens along with cattle?

Yes, there Is there too much methane emissions on the planet.
11%
1 Votes
No, Leave your open flame alone.
89%
8 Votes
9 Total Votes
I think we need to ban light pollution sources and eradicate the triatomic molecule of oxygen....

View Comments (22)

Would you buy a used ar from Boris Johnson?

Yes he would tell me the truth about it
38%
3 Votes
No but he is much maligned and people take him the wrong way, he is an honest man really,
12%
1 Votes
NO
50%
4 Votes
8 Total Votes
He tells it as he sees it....

View Comments (17)

Is it a myth...that women can multi task?

Of course it is
10
42%
No women can do it
3
12%
Never known one that could
0
0%
I know plenty who can
5
21%
only during sex
1
4%
men are better at it
0
0%
no...not a good idea
0
0%
they used to
0
0%
Women will prove it
4
17%
undecided...
1
4%
Total Votes
24
Vote now...

View Comments (29)

question to women...do you use a push up bra?

Yes
4
25%
No
6
38%
How dare you...mine are perfectly shaped
3
19%
Yes I noticed sagging...without a push up bra
0
0%
I got breast implants
0
0%
I don't wear a bra
2
12%
I prefer other type of bra
1
6%
I burnt my push up bra
0
0%
Someone stole my push up bra
0
0%
i sold my push up bra
0
0%
Total Votes
16

View Comments (42)

Are you easily offended? Humor escape you at times? Feel dissed?

Yes, i even offend my cry baby self
0%
0 Votes
Nah, nah, go ahead and take your best shot.
25%
2 Votes
I dont see anything humorous in the threads or blogs.
0%
0 Votes
No one likes me
12%
1 Votes
I live on the west coast of the continental usa and offended if you don't support me.
0%
0 Votes
I am an educated barbarian and don't care what anyone thinks
25%
2 Votes
I am offended by by politicians who think others are dumber
12%
1 Votes
I am offended by increasing crimes and homicides and disrespect for law enforcement
12%
1 Votes
Other
12%
1 Votes
8 Total Votes
I have a good sense for humor in others except Islanders'. This is a jokes and humor thread...

View Comments (235)

should i forgive women...who have been unkind to me over the years?

hell no
36%
9 Votes
yes...yes...yes
20%
5 Votes
no they won't care if you do
24%
6 Votes
yes they will be grateful if you do
4%
1 Votes
no they enjoy being unkind to you
4%
1 Votes
yes they will be kind to you in the future
0%
0 Votes
no they don't like you lee and never will...forget them
4%
1 Votes
yes they feel very guilty and you should forgive them
0%
0 Votes
no many are grumpy old women...living with their cats
4%
1 Votes
yes some might be attractive looking and dating material
4%
1 Votes
25 Total Votes
what should i do vote now...

View Comments (72)

would you breakup with a man...if he had bad manners?

yes
80%
8 Votes
no
10%
1 Votes
Yes if a man talked with his mouthful...he should...just swallow
0%
0 Votes
no i like to see a man talking...with a mouthful
0%
0 Votes
yes i would not like...a man farting
0%
0 Votes
no a man...can fart all he wants
10%
1 Votes
yes a man...belching is disgusting
0%
0 Votes
no i like to see...a man belching
0%
0 Votes
yes a man... should wash downstairs regularly
0%
0 Votes
no i don't mind...a man's downstairs...smelling of sweat
0%
0 Votes
10 Total Votes
being a heterosexual man...i would like to know...what women on cs...would accept...

View Comments (9)

would you breakup with a woman...if she had bad manners?

yes
80%
12 Votes
no
13%
2 Votes
Yes if a woman talked with her mouthful...she should...gobble...gobble and swallow
0%
0 Votes
no i like to see a woman talking...with a mouthful
0%
0 Votes
yes i would not like...a woman farting
0%
0 Votes
no a woman can fart all she wants
0%
0 Votes
yes a woman...belching is disgusting
0%
0 Votes
no i like to see...a woman belching
0%
0 Votes
yes a woman... should wash downstairs regularly
7%
1 Votes
no i don't mind...a woman's downstairs...smelling of rotting fish
0%
0 Votes
15 Total Votes
vote now and have fun it is the session to be jolly...

View Comments (25)

Can anyone hear in their nose and smell through their ears?

Yes, I can do that
1
8%
No, I can not do that
4
33%
I won't confirm or deny
1
8%
Trolls are always born this way
3
25%
Other
3
25%
Total Votes
12
Time to come out of the closet folks....

View Comments (32)

what will women...be wearing...on xmas day?

A Miss santa outfit
3
18%
A elf outfit
0
0%
A French maid outfit
0
0%
A cat woman outfit
1
6%
A spider woman outfit
0
0%
A fluffy bunny outfit
1
6%
A see through outfit
1
6%
A dominatrix outfit
1
6%
nothing at all
5
29%
Something else
5
29%
Total Votes
17

View Comments (26)

What are you wearing for Thanksgiving dinner?

One of those little stainless steel revolvers in my garter belt.
0%
0 Votes
Your mother.
20%
1 Votes
Your mother's dress.
0%
0 Votes
Your sister's dress.
20%
1 Votes
Your daughter's dress.
0%
0 Votes
Your mother.
0%
0 Votes
A 357/45 auto.
0%
0 Votes
Just a little 38.
0%
0 Votes
SHUT UP!!!!
60%
3 Votes
You offend me! Im going to report your f'n @$$ to the mods!
0%
0 Votes
5 Total Votes
You want me to talk about my pole???????? Ok you buy two 5-gallon buckets of viagra and i'll talk about it! Otherwise i DONT want to talk about it! NOW who's your daddy?...

View Comments (1)

Would you want a woman...to call you during sex?

call me by my name
4
31%
Call me daddy
1
8%
call me sex machine
0
0%
call me utopian man
0
0%
call me the boss
3
23%
call me Mr big
1
8%
call me Mr endurance
0
0%
call me 60 minute man
0
0%
call me the best ever
0
0%
Call me anything they want
4
31%
Total Votes
13
just a thread for laughs...

View Comments (25)

Do you like those dried up onion.

Eat em all the time.
0%
0 Votes
"Git!"
0%
0 Votes
Are they acidic, or is it just "me."
0%
0 Votes
Op's a screw-up. I know this guy. Nobody is more wrong!
20%
1 Votes
Stay away from me Screw!
0%
0 Votes
Just had idea for a better thread! But i aint quittin this one!
20%
1 Votes
Yes!
40%
2 Votes
No!
20%
1 Votes
Shut ur guts before ur mouth falls out!
0%
0 Votes
.357 in the bum?
0%
0 Votes
5 Total Votes
Detail? I dont know what to put here....

View Comments (9)

Do you think insanity is endemic amongst women on CS, or are they going trough the change.

Insane women are attracted to men of the same
10
37%
they are going thruugh the change
3
11%
men have driven them this way
10
37%
they just show off a bit
4
15%
Total Votes
27
I am conducting a poll on what people think...

View Comments (45)

You Are A .. ???

Knife
0
0%
Arrow
2
40%
Sword
0
0%
Double Barreled Rifle
0
0%
Automatic Assault Rifle
0
0%
Grenade
1
20%
Dynamite
0
0%
Torpedo
0
0%
Missile
1
20%
Bulldozer
1
20%
Total Votes
5
Heyyaaa All !! If You had to Describe Yourself (well.. At least One Side of yourself ) , then , which One of this Would you have Pick as something Similar to Yourself !! If your option is not included in the poll...Read more

View Comments (22)

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