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Jokes & Humor Polls (700)

Here is a list of Jokes & Humor Polls. To vote, click radio button next to your choice. Votes are anonymous. To view discussion of a poll, click "comments" link. Click here to post a poll.

How would you like to die?

In a pyroclasmic woosh - a volcanic eruption!- you're gone in an instant.
4%
1 Votes
Double-decker bus driven by a getaway bank robber.
0%
0 Votes
A Great White takes you on your Caribbean holiday.
0%
0 Votes
Having wicked sex with overweight ex.
4%
1 Votes
In a pub brawl after a soccer match - your team lost.
0%
0 Votes
Watching telly at home, with a peanut in your throat.
0%
0 Votes
Heart attack - it was all those kebabs, you fool!
0%
0 Votes
Mad Cow Disease - it was all those kebabs, you fool!
4%
1 Votes
Pure boredom - after 25 years on CS, you die of unrequited love and a broken heart.
15%
4 Votes
Softly, gently in your sleep, to the sound of the 'Gladiator' theme music.
73%
19 Votes
26 Total Votes
Look, it's going to happen, so make your choice right here before all the good ones are gone, and pay on the way out, ok?...

View Comments (72)

What is your favorite animal

I love all kinds of animals!
9
64%
Reptile
0
0%
Fish
0
0%
Aquatic Mammal
0
0%
Land Mammal
4
29%
Bird
1
7%
Insect
0
0%
I hate animals!
0
0%
Total Votes
14
There are many kinds of animals. I can't mention them one by one in the options above. I myself know what animal I will choose. So generally, what is your favorite animal? Don't forget to explain your reason in the comment....

View Comments (35)

Why, when you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils?

They are fertilized just before
1
11%
They dilate
4
44%
They are used to scare off flies and worms
4
44%
Total Votes
9
The eyes have it...

View Comments (13)

The Stars Are Out Of Alignment.... Again

I Noticed It In Real Life & On Line
0
0%
Nope, Same As Usual
6
55%
It Is Only C.S Regulars
1
9%
If You Build It They Will Come
0
0%
The Invasion Of The Body Snatchers /THEY LIVE
0
0%
Mandela Effect
0
0%
CERN Or Stargate
1
9%
5G !
1
9%
Turn In Your Telescope!
0
0%
Extraterrestrials Have Landed
2
18%
Total Votes
11
Had a strange or bizarre last 24-72 hours? Do you feel like the stars are out of alignment, or what?...

View Comments (11)

Are you wasting your time on earth?

Yes
4
18%
No
10
45%
Maybe
7
32%
I like turtles!
1
5%
Total Votes
22
Think about it. Life is short. Take all the time you need....

View Comments (11)

Does Howdy Doody Have Wooden Balls?

Yes
3
33%
No
2
22%
Only his twin brother knows for sure.
4
44%
Other
0
0%
Total Votes
9
Does Howdy Doody Have Wooden Balls?

View Comments (13)

The Earth is...

round
23
82%
flat
2
7%
square
0
0%
I have no idea
1
4%
what's the Earth?
0
0%
I'm an alien
2
7%
Total Votes
28
Yesterday I visited a local forum and found its members very seriously discussing whether the Earth is round or flat. I had quite a good laugh reading their answers. Let's see what the Connecting Singles' forum members think about...

View Comments (22)

how do you like your spaghetti prepared

with butter
1
3%
marinara sauce
11
38%
alla puttanesca
2
7%
pesto
2
7%
alfredo
1
3%
vodka
0
0%
butter
1
3%
bolgnese
4
14%
arrabbiata sauce
1
3%
Creamy Wild Mushroom Sauce
6
21%
Total Votes
29
this is how my bros and I would put it away on Sunday afternoons...

View Comments (44)

What is your favorite hobby

camping
1
5%
watching T.V.
5
24%
collecting keys
1
5%
collecting stamps
0
0%
music
8
38%
reading books
6
29%
Total Votes
21
I have a joke for everyone. A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hay the horse says sure, HA.HA. What did the tomato say to the salad? i am dressing..HA.HA.. What did the banana say to the orange? ....you are ap...Read more

View Comments (26)

What is the most important part of our bodies?

Head
6
19%
Heart
13
42%
Eyes
3
10%
Lungs
2
6%
Arse hole
5
16%
Genitalia
0
0%
Feet
0
0%
Ears
0
0%
Hips
0
0%
Other
2
6%
Total Votes
31
I’ll go with the Heart ..... What do you think is the most important part of our bodies? And Why?...

View Comments (40)

Which food item would you eat on a dare?

Spinach in the can
11
30%
Tofu
3
8%
Tripe
1
3%
Canned spam
7
19%
12 raw oysters
15
41%
Total Votes
37
Go for the gross out....

View Comments (4)

Would you rather be able to...

Fly
24
40%
Read mind
36
60%
Total Votes
60
Honest Answer........

View Comments (1)

How many dogs do you sleep with at night?

1
50%
4 Votes
2
0%
0 Votes
A herd
0%
0 Votes
A gross
25%
2 Votes
Enough to feed all the religious people in the world for 10 years
25%
2 Votes
8 Total Votes
How many dogs do you sleep with at night?...

View Comments (2)

Should the government create the policy to decrease the personal right from smokers?

It should, illness from smoking may cause health department ask for higher budget. We must against to pay more tax.
36%
4 Votes
It should not... unless those smokers are rich enough and ready to responsibility on their illness.
36%
4 Votes
It should not... research and development will lost their jobs
0%
0 Votes
It should not... the exporters of tobacco leaf will make more money
9%
1 Votes
It should not ... the insurance companies will take this opportunity to increase the fee
18%
2 Votes
11 Total Votes
People outside of develop countries always confuse with the campaign... STOP SMOKING whereas the government still produce its...

View Comments (82)

Do capital letters make you ANXIOUS?

Yes. I Am OFFENDED Right Now
2
12%
Yes. Who Is PAYING For My Therapy
1
6%
No. It Is The "SNOWFLAKE GENERATION"
1
6%
No, But The WORLD Is Laughing At Us.
1
6%
STOP TRIGGERING ME!
2
12%
No. This Is ORWELLIAN News Speak
0
0%
No. This Is To Squash The RESISTANCE!
0
0%
Does This Include ALLAHU AKBAR!?
2
12%
WHAT NEXT!!??, Explanation Points!!!!???
2
12%
They Are NOT The Boss Of ME!
5
31%
Total Votes
16
(2:46) Do capital letters make you ANXIOUS? No worries, UK university has your back Students at Leeds University have turned into such sensitive and fragile creatures that lecturers have been cautioned against using cap...Read more

View Comments (41)

When do women think most about sex

When they are with someone
7
24%
When they are alone
12
41%
When Santa visits
1
3%
While they’re eating Turkey
0
0%
While inverted
0
0%
While in a confessional
0
0%
While hand washing the car
0
0%
While eating a banana
1
3%
Other
4
14%
When texting galrads
4
14%
Total Votes
29
Tell me...

View Comments (70)

What do you use when you run out if toilet paper?

Wool
1
4%
Sponges
2
8%
Lace
0
0%
Leaves
0
0%
Corn Cobs
1
4%
Newspapers
6
23%
Mail order catalogs
1
4%
Hands
1
4%
Cell Phone
0
0%
Other
14
54%
Total Votes
26
Other?...

View Comments (63)

Who do you resemble most?

Father
14
50%
Mother
12
43%
Mailman
2
7%
Total Votes
28
People who have seen photos of my parents say I look like my dad and my brother looks like my mom... Who do you resemble?...

View Comments (19)

Kiki Challenge

Fun
1
12%
Irresponsible
2
25%
Boring
2
25%
I'm over it
3
38%
I've done it
0
0%
Total Votes
8
Just wanted to know what you think of the Kiki challenge! Yay or nay?...

View Comments (6)

How many cats do you sleep with at night.

1
2
50%
2
0
0%
A half dozen
0
0%
A dozen
0
0%
A gross
1
25%
Enough to feed all the Chinese in China for a year
1
25%
Total Votes
4
How many cats do you sleep with At night?...

View Comments (3)

What would you rather have today: a baby or a puppy?

Baby
14
22%
Puppy
51
78%
Total Votes
65

View Comments (18)

Who Makes The Best Lover

Italian Americans
7
21%
Italian Americans
0
0%
Italian Americans
1
3%
Italian Americans
2
6%
Italian Americans
1
3%
Italian Americans
0
0%
Italian Americans
0
0%
Italian Americans
0
0%
Italian Americans
2
6%
No Others
20
61%
Total Votes
33
Date an Italian American today World's Best Lovers #1 Italian American Brazil Spain France #5 Ireland South Africa Australia New Zealand Denmark #10 Canada...

View Comments (46)

Why was mick jagger Knighted and David Bowie wasn’t

Jagger never gave much money to charities?
0
0%
Jagger said the Queen is the Royal Witch?
1
5%
David Bowie turned it down.
9
47%
Did the Queen hand jagger his Knighthood?
1
5%
Tony Blair loves mick jagger
1
5%
Any of the above or Other
7
37%
Total Votes
19
Other.... Princess Margaret Rose Windsor bathing with mick jagger ?...

View Comments (10)

2018 .... is a man-bun primarily Euro today

Yes
18
56%
No
14
44%
Total Votes
32
Not that I care, I think they are especially great for make pattern baldness and they share hair ties with their sisters there....

View Comments (88)

What is your favourite season?

Spring
12
29%
Summer
17
40%
Autumn
6
14%
Winter
7
17%
Total Votes
42
And why?...

View Comments (12)

Alex7: "Lovely Flowers ... "(meet us in the ecards)

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