Here are some more really funny sayings, witty quotes, cute and clever bumper sticker quotes, and interesting thoughts. Some are pretty funny, a few are hilarious, some are painfully true, and some are clever and witty. (and of course, some of these are pretty stupid sayings and dumb sayings that aren’t that amazing… )
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can’t have everything….where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He’s not dead… he’s electroencephalographically challenged.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Having talked to cashiers, technicians, airline stews ect. I should have kept notes. You should see the calls coming in to 411 about needing advise to cook a turkey.
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! Be sure you read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!! ================================= Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.. Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit! ===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah..................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... ===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? == =============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. ===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. ===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. ===============
Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? ===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And last but not least...
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
That is a very sad story and I am sorry it had to end that way, after all that time. I just checked your profile and see you have two beautiful children from this mariage.
Go to Googles and type; youtube the seekers, and several of their songs will show up. On the right side are more songs, just click on the one you want.
There’s a new world somewhere they call the Promised Land; And I’ll be there someday if you will hold my hand; I still need you there beside me, no matter what I do; For I know I’ll never find another you.
There is always someone for each of us they say, And you’ll be my someone, forever and a day; I could search the whole world over, until my life is through, But I know I’ll never find another you.
It’s a long, long journey, so stay by my side, If I walk through a storm, you’ll be my guide, Be my guide...
If they gave me a fortune, my treasure would be small; I could lose it all tomorrow, and never mind at all; But if I should lose your love, dear, I don’t know what I’d do, For I know I’ll never find another you!
hollandgirl Forum Posts (4,464)
Witty quotes, cute and clever bumper stickers and interesting thoughts, funnies...........
I second that.