No one believes seniors....everyone thinks they are senile. An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money fifty-thousand dollars. Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" Sally said, "No." Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic." Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile." The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning". Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, "We're outta here."
He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges but he was recently converted and now on fire for the Lord. He was constantly pestering the pastor to give him some work that would be helpful to the church. Finally the pastor agreed. He gave the man a list of ten people who hadn't been in church for years nor made any financial contribution. Some of these were quite prominent in the community.
The pastor said, "What I want you to do is get these people back to church, however you can. You can use church stationery if you want, but get these people back to church."
Three weeks later the pastor got an envelope in the mail from a prominent doctor whose name had been on the list, along with a check for $1,000 and a note that read, ' Dear Pastor, Please excuse my inactivity at church. I really have no excuse. Accept this check as a partial contribution for all the Sundays I've missed, and be assured I will never, by choice, miss worship again.'
Sincerely, J. B. Jones, M.D.
P.S. - Will you kindly tell your secretary that there is only one "t" in dirty and no "c" in skunk?
Meryl Steep is my favorite there are others. Drama queen for me and the leading role of course as I know I would be sooo good at it lol. Well, don't throw your selves away right? others will do this for you.
I do want to take it easy but how do you stop a run-away "horse?" He is starting to get to me big time. Cold showers you think? No, he knows how I feel about slowing it down
Personally I am looking for long time. I was 69 when I received emails from guys, who too said age was just a number, 24 was the youngest. Anybody home??? Between 40-50 where most of the men.
Humour too; One man wrote; Age is just a number; I am 70 years old. looking for a woman between 50-60. It was obvious he was refering to his own age that did not matter. lol
So at the most ten years younger would be my limit. I don't want to rob the cradle and I am not a teacher either. As I said in the beginning I am looking for long term with someone who I am things with in common.
Wow we talked for four hours again tonight my ear is just about falling off lol. You think this must be love huh? I know I really like what I have seen and heard so far and he is a goner totally gone ga ga. I am trying to cool it but hmmm it ain't working too good lol
Difficult to believe he says he is 48 years old going on 8 maybe? I ignore him and feel that is the best. This person does not participate just.........forget it. Some kind of power trip. He may yet outgrow it. You think?
Met someone on here and we have now met. It all went great! Did I just said the word "Great? hmmm He sure liked what he saw too etc. Sure was a meeting of the minds here.
This person had cancelled his membership over one year ago. He was stunned to find CS telling him he had mail. How could this be? Also during this time no one else had approached him. Well God works in mysterious ways and That I know all too well.
This man is also a writer, has his work published. Wants to help me getting my stories published as he liked them very much. People tell me I write like I talk.
My new friend is into white water rafting as his number one. Next is canoeing. But I am also into home stuff, and as lonely said it well. For me it is in the little things too
So sorry to hear what has happened to your son and surely can see why you are angry. You have been given good advise on here. Hope you did not sign a thing before you engaged a lawyer.
It is always touching to me when a man can express his feeling. Your okay guy and trust me the day will come when you will find that special one meant for you. And yes ONE only leave some for the rest of the guys out there okay? lol
Can't add a thing to what has been said here. I am a Christian but could not imagen wanting to use the horrendous happening of this poor man who was murdered to use at a platform for hatred. Trust me these people may be church goers, but for sure NOT Christians. God teaches us to love.
There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, jus t by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be please d with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actual ly chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'a m. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.' Mrs. Smith fainted
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?’
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner.
hollandgirl Forum Posts (4,464)
It pays to be old....................................
It pays to be old..................No one believes seniors....everyone thinks they are senile. An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money fifty-thousand dollars. Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" Sally said, "No." Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic." Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile." The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning". Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, "We're outta here."