hollandgirl Forum Posts (4,464)

Do you play an instrument?.........sing?..........Jodel?

You should get together with ship, as karaoke is his thing too

Do you play an instrument?.........sing?..........Jodel?

On what page are you to be found Sir?

Do you play an instrument?.........sing?..........Jodel?

That is the only talent I have, so we could be the singing sister act.
And, oh yeah I can stomp my feet, one at the time does that count?

Do you play an instrument?.........sing?..........Jodel?

We really do have a lot of talent on the forum.
Wouldn't it be grand if we could get it all together?

Do you play an instrument?.........sing?..........Jodel?

Let's hear is girl and we all go to the video section

RE: Hello from Corpus Christi, Texas

To this forum.
Are you reaching out yourself too?
Not all the women are in the forum.
Go to Search and if you see what you like,
send a short message like; Read your profile
and liked it.
Please read mine, if your interested, please get
back with me. etc.
Or send the lady a flower.
Good luck, it worked for me!

Men's thought on their wives......................

That is wonderful that your children seem to be okay.
What is for sure is, that you are a A I dad

Men's thought on their wives......................

Hi Shelley

Henry asked his wife of 50 years if she had ever been unfaithful, yes was the reply; 3 times.

Yeah a very busy lady wasn't she

Men's thought on their wives......................

ya the oldest he won't talk about there mother at all but maybe one day. and the yongest well she hurt him the most. we just couldn't liv like that any more. I did everything that I could do to help her. but though all that thats why I have somany helth problums. to much stress. but shes not eith us I just can't do it any more. the kids are always tying to set me up with there frends moms.[/quote]

Understandable as the kids know what you have gone through and now just want to see you happy.
When somone became sick like your wife did, there is only so much you can do.
Besides you had to think about the safety of the kids and yourself
How old are the kids and all living at home?

RE: Sharon should get out tomorrow

Glad to hear that your love is getting better ship.
Wishing her a complete recovery

Do you play an instrument?.........sing?..........Jodel?

He was really the first guitar player I had heard about.
Several kids in our street played daily, and we girl would sing.
Good times

Arline of the future?...............bring you checkbook...................lol

Airline joke.


Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, Sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, Please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to 'Sit'.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the Airline's new Policy.

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.

Attendant: Sir, Do you want a seat on this flight, or not ?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, Your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be Swell, Thanks.

Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, Please.

Passenger: What ?

Attendant: The Airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.

Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, And fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.

Passenger: ' No Way ! '

Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the Air Marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.

Passenger: Why Not? Is he going to 'Shoot me'?

Attendant: No, But there's a $50 Air-Marshal hailing fee.

Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, Sir. Just insert two quarters into the Overhead coin slot for the First Five minutes.

Passenger: The Airline is charging me for Cabin air?

Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, Sir! Here you go!

Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, there's a 'change making fee' of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter ? What the heck can I do with this ?

Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the wash room.

Men's thought on their wives......................

Blackorchid your story is very sad
It is to your credit that You still love her, the mother
of your children.
It must be so difficult for them too huh?

Congratulations with the marriage of your son, may all go well at the wedding.

Men's thought on their wives......................

Yeah and walk around with holes in your socks,

After the honeymoon mama he said those terrible 4 letter words, oh mama help me......

4 Letter Words:


A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mama...words like dust, wash, iron, and cook..."

You tell them cowboy...............lol.....................

Oops I was too quick on the trigger.
Thought you were in Australia, but OMG Not even wearing a kilt.

You tell them cowboy...............lol.....................

Howdee.... are you standing upon your head right now in order to read this.


Welcome;

You tell them cowboy...............lol.....................

A cowboy walks into a bar, but quickly realizes it's a gay bar.


What the heck? he says to himself, -- 'I can really use a drink.

When the gay waiter approaches, he asks the cowboy, 'what's the name of your wee-wee?'

The cowboy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that, all I want is a
drink.

The gay waiter says, 'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell
me the name of your wee-wee.


Mine for instance, is called Nike, for the Slogan 'Just Do It,' and that guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers' because it really 'Satisfies.
The cowboy looks totally dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will
give him a second to think it over.

So the cowboy turns and asks the man sitting to his left, 'Hey bud, what's the name of yours?' The man looks back and says With a smile 'Timex,' and the thirsty cowboy asks, 'Why Timex?' The Fella proudly replies, 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his right, who
happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, 'So, what do you
guys call yours?' The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims,
'FORD, because Quality is Job One. ' Then he adds, 'Have you driven a
Ford lately?' The guy next to him then says, 'I call mine CHEVY,
'Like A Rock.'' and gives a wink.


Even more shaken the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name.

He exclaims, 'The name of my wee-wee is 'SECRET.' Now get me a dang beer.

The bartender begins to pour the Cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look
asked, 'Why Secret?

The cowboy says: 'Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!'

So this cop was writing a parking ticket.................lol

So This Cop Was Writing A Parking Ticket


I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?’

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner.

I am suffering from A.A.A.D.D.......... Lol, what is Your problem?......Don't laugh your next!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the e garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye-- they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.


Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favour.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Henry asked his wife of 50 years if she had ever been unfaithful, yes was the reply; 3 times.

No, It is going over my head and no one yet who can show me.
Keeping the info though

RE: Dating vs getting to know someone first?

This place has also a European site join up there.

RE: would you date a recovering alcoholic

Congratulations.
People are here 24/7 so there is always someone you can talk too.

At times we see someone is hurting and tells us. Some we lift up, others we ridicule. Can we do bett

Goody goody gumdrops are you really back with us?
Those few who wanted to know who Steve was, well they will now see.
Glad that so many told you how they felt Steve, see you have friends.

Wishing all Canadians a very Happy Thanksgiving................

Everyday we ought to count our Blessings really.
Thanksgiving is a good reminder.

Henry asked his wife of 50 years if she had ever been unfaithful, yes was the reply; 3 times.

Hi Paul

Henry asked his wife of 50 years if she had ever been unfaithful, yes was the reply; 3 times.

To her credit she was honest

Henry asked his wife of 50 years if she had ever been unfaithful, yes was the reply; 3 times.

An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, 'Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. in all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?'
Martha replied, 'Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, 'I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?''

Martha said, 'The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?'

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, 'I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?'

Martha asked, 'And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.'

'I recall that,' said Henry. 'And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that.

Now tell me about the third time.'

'All right,' Martha said. 'So do you remember when you ran for president of your bowls club, and you needed 73 more votes? hmmmmmmmmmmm ..

She was only trying to helpl her mate...........

At times we see someone is hurting and tells us. Some we lift up, others we ridicule. Can we do bett