I made it! Got in about 04:00 (EDT) today and we are studiously trying to avoid unloading all my crap, er, uh... Stuff!
Still have one more load of furniture up in Kansas to get and we'll do that together some time next week. For now, it's a couple of days of taking things easy and (trying!) to get things organized and stowed away. Etc... Etc... Etc...
Thanks, Lene, for reminding me of a few other lessons I've learned:
The shortest route is not always the quickest, nor the best.
The easiest route is very seldom the prettiest.
The best roads are not always the smoothest ones. (Although you may think differently, for a time, if your hemorrhoids are flaring up!)
Look behind you often so that you can recognize landmarks if you have to return this way, but don't forget to face forward to see the road in front of you. (It's a good way to avoid both tree limbs and getting lost!)
While the road can take one home, sometimes the road IS home.
Ambrose Bierce once defined a road as: "A strip of land along which one travels, from where it is too tiresome to be, to where it is fruitless to go." I do not always agree with that definition, but neither do I always dis-agree with it.
I have traveled and driven literally millions of miles (2,000,000 of 'em just in a big truck.) and I have found that no matter how far I go, I'm still not where I'm going to end up - There is always at least one more mile to go. I think I like it that way - But it will indeed be nice to finally get home...
Things I have learned from the school of hard knocks:
Never let your mother brush your hair when she's mad at your dad.
Sometimes, "yes" means "no."
Sometimes "no" means "yes."
Most of the time "yes" means "maybe."
Most of the time "no" means "hell no!"
Money can NOT buy happiness, but it DOES allow one to shop in better stores.
Sometimes, Mother nature provides the best store for "one stop shopping," but you have to be in tune with her to get the really good bargains.
If one is in tune with Mother nature, money becomes considerably less important.
If your parents didn't have any kids that lived, chances are you won't either!
"Watch out!" Rarely means, "Hey, look at this!" (But sometimes, it does.)
"Duck!!!" Almost ALWAYS means, "Hit the deck!" and not "Stick your head and take a quick look around."
"Shut-up!" Doesn't mean "Stand-up!" Especially when the command is given by a woman. Even more so if that woman is your mother or your spouse.
New boots are like horses: They are almost always easier on your feet if they've been filled with oats and water first. (This refers to the old Cowboy practice of filling a new pair of boots with oats, then wetting them down - The oats expand and help "break in" the boots.)
Animals, while easier to understand than most people, are not, as a rule, nearly as much fun to sleep with!
Watching the moon sink low in the west is a lot easier and more enjoyable if you haven't been drinking all night.
The same goes for watching the sun rise in the east.
If you've ever seen the moon set in the east and the sun rise in the west, chances are that you WERE drinking all night.
...Years ago, I came to an understanding with God: I promised not to ask for anything I didn't WANT and he promised not to give me anything I couldn't handle. It's the fairest agreement I've ever made and one that we can both keep easily...
Yes Ma'am, I reckon they do at that! And, sometimes, a very real EXCEPTIONAL lady will respond to a gentleman/Plainsman from Kansas and he will move to Tennessee just to bask in her glory.
POLICE While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?
POLICE It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache next morning."
DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather. .and unto the Soonnn . . .....and into the hole he gooooes."
SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the ages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
Mitchell, I am once again in your debt! While I have long prided myself on my linguistic and dialectic capabilities, I am, in reality, multilingual illiterate - That is to say that I can't read or write in half a dozen different languages. I will print out your "Southern Thesaurus" and carry it with me to be relied upon during those times when spittin, chewin' and drawing "pitchers" in the dirt with a stick simply won't suffice.
Would a Western Plainsman, transplanted to the South, do the trick? (I think maybe I might be capable of displaying good manners...) (I know I've got good taste in beautiful womanhood!)
I think I can measure up, given a chance. Or do I have to really become acclimated before I qualify?
Sounds like a grackle to me. While I do believe in animal totems - mine are coyote, bobcat, cougar, fox and hare (actually, the coyote is more of a "spirit guide") - I couldn't begin to tell you the significance of a grackle (or any bird, for that matter) totem, but there are places where you can find information...
I already love it here. I've been a plainsman and a westerner all my life and have, more than once, stated that I could never live east of I-35, let alone East of the Mississippi. Then I came "home" to East Tennessee and fell in love with a beautiful woman and a pretty little ridge in Anderson county and I don't reckon I'll ever want to leave either of 'em!
It's true! After being a born and bred Kansan my entire life, (I was born 100 years & 1 day after Kansas became a state!) I will be packing up bag and baggage, rifle & canoe and moving to East Tennessee sometime in the middle of March. I've met (thanks to CS!) the love of my life and this high plains drifter is finally ready to settle down permanently on a pretty little ridge in East Tennessee.
Not sure where I'll be working yet, or what I'll be doing, but I'd imagine it'll have something to do with the trucking industry or American History or (eventually) writing.
Soooo... If ya'll promise not to get too "hillbilly-ish" on me, then I'll do my best not to get too "hayseed-ish" on you. Just wanna' spend the rest of my days making a very special lady happier than she's ever been before. (She's already done that for me!)
Good thread topic, actually! But right now, I wouldn't want to be anybody else BUT me! I'm at the best point I've ever been in my life and I wouldn't give it up for a day to be ANYBODY else!
Just found this and thought I'd pass it along: Enjoy!
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," she remorsefully replied. --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. --Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive." --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener." --won't admit his name
I'm happy to be alive. That pretty much covers everything - Even the crappy luck has led to the good place I am now. I have the love of my life at my side, always, even when I'm away and if going through hell was the payment for the Heaven I've found in Tennessee, then it was damned well worth it!
Sooooo... Again, I'm for EVERYTHING, because even the BAD parts of life have served to make me appreciate the GOOD parts!
I have met several folks here whom I'm sure will be friends for life.
So, I don't guess there are any "cons" there.
I have also met the one person I've been looking for all my life - And I suppose that could be construed as a VERY BIG "pro."
I would go so far as to say that this site came into existence for the sole purpose of getting the two of us together. (Granted, there have been a few other lucky souls too, but I'm sure that was only a happy coincidence, as it was, without a doubt, created for solely us!)
She completes me. And if I live for a million years, I will never be able to fully convey my gratitude to this wonderful, beautiful woman who made my life worth living. (But I'll continue to try!)
...The Kansan...
P.S. Good luck to in your search for the right one - I'm sure he's probably sitting in a truck stop somewhere thinking of you right now...
What really tickles me is that I was wearing basically the same thing I wear now - boots, jeans and a cowboy hat - I was a fashion statement in the 70's, but fashion didn't catch up with me until the 80's & 90's!
Early morning yesterday, Spent alot of time along the way Pickin' flowers and skippin' rocks Across the streams of our youth.
But tomorrow always comes With banners and beating drums And age demands the we must Carry on and carry through.
We grow up alike - In different ways And bid goodbye Our childhood days
And we think we're going somewhere,but it's really nowhere fast. Then one day we reach the peak Just to find the answers that we seek Are only further questions that link us with our past.
Well the circle goes 'round and round as down life's road we go (I lost my father Christmas when I was barely seven!) And by my twenty first birthday, I knew I'd never know What thrill it was to reach the gates of Heaven.
Yet not in any of these lies the curse, I guess the hell of it's because I don't know which loss hurt the worse; My youth, my God... Or Santa Clause.
...What's in the past is in the past. It was good back then and I mostly miss the innocence of youth. At the same time, I am happier now than I have ever been in my life and the future is indeed a bright one and if losing my innocence prepared me for what I'm experiencing right now, then I say (chuckling) "Good riddance!"
The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)
But frankly, my dear, I could NEVER not give a damn where you're concerned!
The Kansan comes to Tennessee
I made it! Got in about 04:00 (EDT) today and we are studiously trying to avoid unloading all my crap, er, uh... Stuff!Still have one more load of furniture up in Kansas to get and we'll do that together some time next week. For now, it's a couple of days of taking things easy and (trying!) to get things organized and stowed away. Etc... Etc... Etc...
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm home!!!!