The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)

RE: ~~ hApPy BiRtHdAy FiReLiTeR ~~

And many more!

RE: Is this thing real???

Yes friend, it's real. Or at least it CAN be. I met my fiance' on this site thanks to a very innocous thread about James Taylor CD's. It turned out to be simply the first of many, many things we have in common. Neither of us has left the forums and we still send each other flowers, even though we now share a home and our lives and, for the most part, use the same computer.

I'm happier than I've ever been in my life and it seems that I owe the lion's share of my gratitude to Connecting Singles... We are living proof that it can indeed be real!

One for the guys!

A wife complained, "The wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch!"

Her husband mumbled, "Damn clock always was slow!"

RE: A New Twist On Creation...lol

We BOTH love it! Thank you!

RE: Born In The USA...for Hillbillyhoney

Mr. Bush in Heaven... (In honor of Galactic Bodhi)

Could be, but I thought that was Jessie Jackson who grabbed the back pack?

Mr. Bush in Heaven... (In honor of Galactic Bodhi)

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps His fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols His theory of relativity.
Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.
Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."
Picasso erases Einstein`s equations and sketches a truly stunning abstract mural with just a few strokes of chalk.
Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches His head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

National survey results...

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with former President Bill Clinton?"
86% replied, "Not again!"

I'm a conservative Republican

I'm sure I'll go down in flames for this, but it was just TOO good not to share!

...The Kansan...

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I`m not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why I`m a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl.The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why sheis a conservative Republican."Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That`s no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" She pauses, and lets out a smile. "Then," Lucy says, "I'd be a liberal Democrat!"

I've finally figured out the women vs. men equality thing!

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think
they are beautiful!

C-cells...

A husband and wife were resting on a beach when they noticed a girl with a travel bag. She would approach people with boom boxes and other electronic devices and speak to them. Occasionally she would hand them something and walk off.

"She's probably selling drugs," said the woman.

The man decided to see for himself. The wife watched as her husband walked across the beach to the girl with the travel bag. They spoke briefly, and then her husband returned.

"Is she selling drugs," asked the Wife anxiously?

"No, she's not," replied her Husband. 'She's selling batteries."

"You don't mean...?"

"Yep," finished her husband. "She sells c-cells by the sea shore!"

RE: Democratic Canidates

Commitment?

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me!"

RE: count your blessings

Oh, and Chele? I think YOU hit the nail on the head!

RE: Indiana Women

(I believe this applies to Tennessee women as well!)

RE: The Yeti

Good Lord! I haven't heard that one in 35 years! Thanks!

RE: What mobile do you have all................

Motorola, somethin' or other.

RE: If you can go back in time!!!.....where would you go and what would you do?

Easy choice! I'd go to the western mountains during the fur trade era (circa 1823/1836 or thereabouts.)

As a living historian, through my own family history, I could place myself in nearly every time/place from Illinois in the early 1800's to Alaska in the early 1900's. My favorite being the aforementioned Western fur trade era.

RE: smoking is dangerous sos pollution

For obvious reasons, I'll pass on the bet and the camping trip.

I will allow as to how there are others who possess the skills I've learned over the years, and many use them on a regular basis. And there are nearly as many ladies as men. My point was that, even though I'm a smoker, I make considerably less impact on the countryside than the average 20th/21st century camper. And it is probably due to fact that I go about it from the standpoint of a 19th century frontiersman/buckskinner. For instance; My fires are kept small and are generally made for cooking purposes only, then are extinguished and all signs erased. Then I move on and bed down in a different location. And it would take a skilled tracker indeed to even determine that I had been there. Plus, I do my best to live WITH my surroundings instead of IN them. Too many folks nowadays don't understand that concept...

And FWIW, you're right - I don't stop smoking, but my smoking is limited to a small clay pipe and done only in the evenings or during a lunch break while on the trail. Otherwise, I chew tobacco or simply do without...

RE: is there anyone out there for me

Heck, we have igloos all OVER the place down here in the states!

Oh, wait! Those are the ice chest kind!

RE: Ok after six years we have a "breake" just talked to her and she was at her lover's palce

Sorry to have to be the one to break this to you, but it doesn't look as though you're going to get very many sympathy votes here...

Maybe you should try one of the "dating married women sites?"



(Just a thought! )

RE: smoking is dangerous sos pollution

Double edged sword indeed!

Heck, I'd even go so far as to invite most any non-smoker (yourself included ) to go camping with me and find out who leaves the biggest impact on the countryside!

I'll even go one step further and promise not to carry anything in the way of camping gear but a knife and a blanket!

As to emptying government offices - I kinda' like that idea! Let's all take a bureaucrat camping... And then leave them there! Eventually, they'll provide more fertilizer for the forest!

Aaahhh... Now it's time for MY coffee!

RE: I just heard this one.

RE: smoking is dangerous sos pollution

Better to ban IDIOTS.

I've been a smoker for more than 30 years and I've hiked, backpacked and camped all over the country. Never started a forest fire - Although I have helped fight a few.

As a living historian who has spent 25 years or so teaching "frontier survival skills," i. e., flint and steel fire making, tracking, making basic shelters, etc..., I can think of perhaps half a dozen different ways to start a fire which don't involve matches or lighters. In fact, when I'm camping I prefer my flint & steel over just about any other method - I've never failed to get a fire started w/flint & steel. I also light both my pipe and cigarrettes that way - matches & lighters just aren't reliable enough.

I've also taken and taught several backcountry survival courses (Did you know that you could start a fire with a simple deck of playing cards? Trust me, you can!) and never had a mishap.

I guess my point is this this: Like someone said in an earlier post, it's PEOPLE who start uncontrolled fires. (Well, ok, people and Mother Nature!) But mostly UNEDUCATED, un-caring, people. And the fact that someone may or may not be a smoker is almost completely irrelevant. It's been said before; You can't legislate against stupidity.

Before you ban lighters, matches and even magnifying glasses, I'd like to see a law requiring Mr. & Mrs. John Q. Public - Who have never driven anything in their lives bigger than the family minivan - to take a three week safety course before jumping in their brand new 40 foot R.V. upon retirement and heading out to terrorize the general populace on the highways & byways of America!

And that's MY .02

RE: I try to work things out on my own...but I sure could use some advice from y'all

Excuse me, but after reading your response to Jackson, we are both - She's always ribbing me about the lack of hills in Kansas! (Actually there ARE hills in Kansas, it's just that, without any trees to speak of, they're just not quite as noticeable as they are here in East Tennessee! )

RE: is there anyone out there for me

Of course there is! Sometimes it just takes a while to find them. Heck, it took me darn near 46 years! (But the wait was DEFINITELY worth it! )

Keep the faith and be patient, it'll happen when it's supposed to!

RE: Hospital information

Thanks Kate! I needed that!

RE: I try to work things out on my own...but I sure could use some advice from y'all

Hi Chele,

Lydia is right on all accounts. I'm not an expert by any means, but the one thing I've discovered is that true love means being ready, at a moment's notice, to drop EVERYTHING and follow the one you love to the ends of the earth, regardless of the possible consequences.

In my own case, I've made the statement many times that I could never live anywhere East of I-35, let alone the Mississippi - I'm a Westerner born and bred - And then I met a very special lady (here!) and came for a visit. When I got here, I realized that I had finally come home. And that my place is with her, wherever she is. And I now reside, very happily, in East Tennessee. Remember the line from the old John Denver song, Follow Me? "For all the time that you're with me, we will be at home."

I guess my point is something you already know; If you don't love him enough to uproot your son and if he doesn't love you enough to understand that your son comes first... Then sorry, but it just ain't true love. And anything less just isn't worth pursuing.

Good luck to you.

RE: Men and Love

Actually, I agree with you! As far as that goes, the world needs more thoughtful folks, period!

I'm just glad that I've found a lady who appreciates my efforts and tells me I've done good even when I think I could have done better. TOGETHER she and I are building the kind of life that neither of us has ever really had, but have longed for all our lives.

If more folks put the kind of thoughtfulness into their relationships that Jackson and I put into ours, I don't think there would be quite such a demand for dating sites. Although I will forever be indebted to CS for bringing the two of us together.

She will always have flowers because I will continue to make new beds and plant flowers for her. I will do that because I love her. One of the reasons I love her is because she loves me for the effort I put into insuring that she will always have flowers...

RE: What Does it Take...

Sure, she's out there somewhere and it'll happen, when it's meant to happen - Just like RHT said!

Heck man, you're young, good looking and capable! It took me almost 46 years to finally find the one I was looking for - Turned out that she was the one who was looking for ME!

The key seems to be to get comfortable with YOU. Spend some time doing things just because YOU want to do them and not because it's expected or demanded by others. Then you won't be quite as lonely or feel quite as alone. After that, when you least expect it... It'll happen! I've often heard that when you QUIT looking for something is when you are most likely to find it. And that truism has been borne out for me with everything from car keys to love.

Keep the faith friend, but lose the desperation. Love has it's own timetable and there's not a damn thing we can do to change it...