I don't know how all the matter in the universe came to be there but, given that it is there, it had to end up as something. How and why that something turned out to be what it is can be explained by science. With living organisms the process has more complexity but it is explainable. Whereas just saying "God created everything" explains nothing.
A cell phone is a piece of equipment designed and built by humans to fulfill a particular function. And no, it cannot make itself. If you asked the right person they could tell you exactly how one is made. To compare this with the universe is not only a false comparison, but also a rather stupid one. What do you imagine the purpose of the universe to be; what function has it been designed to perform? When you've satisfactorily answered that and explained exactly how God made it, perhaps your above statement won't sound quite so ridiculous.
Okay, I think I get the rough gist of what you are struggling to say. What did I say about your mother that she would have cause to feel insulted about?
In the walking group I joined, there is a man with a dog called Peter. I'm the only one who seems to find that amusing, which, ironically, makes it seem even funnier.
So when you buy a ticket to travel on public transport, having to sit there listening to a drunken, abusive moron having a rant is included in the price, is it? Wow, that's value for money.
Ban animal products
Just reassign your dog as a racoon or something, it works with gender.