I was 21 and had just been stood up by "friends" and decided to go to a movie and enjoy myself since I was already dressed up and ready to go out. I had a good time, and learned early that it's okay to do things by myself if nobody can go with me. I've treated myself to dinner at a nice restaurant, etc. No, you're not a loser to do this, but a strong, independent person if you can. (And who knows who you might meet in line. )
I chose other because I'd rather find a fellow Naturopath or a Spirtual Healer. Or someone who makes something environmentally friendly, or sells "green" products. Or who lives such a lifestyle, regardless of their profession.
Why do you care what others think? If you want to see a movie, and nobody you know wants to go with you, go and have fun. Enjoy the movie. Why would you look pathetic for treating yourself to a good time?
Awesome post, HJF! And yes, I keep finding and releasing these things, and it's great. I feel lighter, more energetic, and more alive!
And yes, it's best to let the feelings happen so that they can be healed.
I have a friend who is also a healer and teacher. Wonderful man...I think you'd like him and his wife. Anyway, one time he was talking about a day that he was walking around with this angry feeling, and he just couldn't seem to shake it, so he decided to go sit on his bed and just immerse himself in the feeling. He said when he did that, it was over in just a few minutes. His point was that he spent a lot of energy walking around holding that bucket up so it couldn't "sploosh" over him, but that when he did finally let go of it and let it "sploosh", it felt so much better afterward, and wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be.
To this day, I remember that, and when "bad" feelings are threatening to come through, I let them "sploosh" rather than trying to avoid them.
It's what I finally did with my grief after Gene died. And it felt better to let the grief and tears happen and wash through me than it did to avoid them.
Exactly. And if that happens again in this life, I'll be in a relationship. Until then, I'll remain happily single. I'd rather be single than miserable.
Ah well, this is why I greet people with "Welcome to the nut house."
I never mind if one of my threads gets hijacked and swung OT, but that's me. Sometimes they do stay OT, other times they don't. Sometimes it's fun and other times it degenerates into fights and attacks. But I've tried forums on other sites and never found the quick interaction that happens here on CS, so I never end up staying long elsewhere. I'm sorry you haven't enjoyed it here...it's actually a pretty good group of people, but I admit we're not for everyone. I see nothing wrong with the wisecracks and smart comments...they lighten things up and make one laugh.
I'd heard of him before that, but hadn't read any of his books yet. It was amazing to get to see and hear him speak, and this was said at a Green Conference in San Francisco. An amazing man.
Yes, but we have used that intelligence to do much damage to each other and to this planet and other species that inhabit it.
And yes, I'm proud to be classified as a "tree hugger".
"If we all don't become tree huggers, there will come a day when there are no more trees to not hug. And when there are no more trees to not hug, there will be no more people to not hug them."
(Original quote...in a conversation with my father when he was denigrating "tree huggers" and I pointed out he was doing so to his tree-hugging daughter.)
Yes. We're the only species who wastes so much, rapes the Earth's surface to rip out her minerals, impacts the environment and destroys ecosystems by laying acres of rain forest to waste and building structures and cities that remove the habitats of other species. We're the only species that kills other members of our species for no good reason. (For example, the Vietnamese did not encroach on our territory at all, but we felt the need to go over there and kill them anyway.)
Deepak Chopra once said words that stuck with me:
"If insects were to disappear off of the face of the Earth, all other life forms would cease to exist. But if human beings disappeared from the face of the Earth, all other life forms would thrive."
I don't understand why the first one made you sad, but I do understand feeling like this. Though I'm at a point where I'm truly enjoying being by myself, I still have these moments too.
Yes, that is the hard part, Sommer. I hate hurting anyone. And yet, I know you're right, it hurts them more to drag it out. It's easier if I don't feel anything for them from the beginning, but if they're nice and I like them as a friend, it's harder.
LOL...my family had a cat when I was younger who did this daily. We'd taken her in just in time for her to give birth a couple of days later, and had made her a cozy place to have them, too.
My dogs bring me mice, and even a squirrel once. Gotta love them.
Thank you, these two posts just helped me. I'm in the same situation, except he only lives an hour away. Around here, that's nothing. Like you, Owen, I'd like to remain friends with him, but I'm not feeling anything more. I've tried to, but it's just not there.
Oh, absolutely. If you're real, don't give out your email addy immediately. Anyone who gets scam mail (and most of us do) will just delete it. I've given the benefit of the doubt when they sent it in a reply, but told them I'd prefer to remain on site. I usually never hear from them again. I had another on a different site tell me I was a paranoid nut because I refused to give him my yahoo IM ID. No loss there, then, in my books.
So is the extreme compliment. I've been told I'm so beautiful it's amazing there aren't more traffic accidents where I live, etc. Starting with "Wow, you're so beautiful" or "Wow, your smile is bright enough to light the sky" gets deleted before I even bother to see if they gave me a name that makes no sense and an email addy that doesn't match it.
I know I'm not ugly, but I certainly am not so beautiful I stop traffic, either. I'm realistic, and confident enough not to be taken in anymore by things like that. And yes, when I was more vulnerable, shortly after my husband's death, I was taken in by them...it's how I learned.
Not really. The real ones would be more consistent, and I don't think they'd give you two very common names, sometimes in reverse order of what's expected (Jackson Thomas, for example), and their child(ren) would most likely be living with them, not a relative. It's the stories that give it away. They travel a lot overseas because they're a contractor, and so their mother in another country has their child. Almost every one is the same.
Shoot, Shirley, I don't even bother writing that much. I just delete and move on. If there's a shot that they're sincere, I respond and see what they write. I had one the other day who was supposedly from Australia, first email wasn't badly written and the profile was well-written, so I responded. The reply email was not well-written at all. Must have had a worse translation program running, or it went out of his pre-written stuff. I didn't bother replying further. Scammer. I've learned to smell them easily, like a bloodhound.
Basically, the over-the-top greeting, my name is so-and-so, and her yahoo email addy means it's a no-brainer, Goldstone. Delete it and move on. Those are automatic deletes for me, because they scream scammer.
"I was searching through profiles and your beautiful smile made me stop. I new I found the one i'm been searching for, she so pretty. I'm a widow with a daughter who lives with my mom in (name another country). My name is John Smith and you can contact me at..."
druidess6308 Forum Posts (13,695)
Nice to meet you, Chatty, just call me Dru. 
Best answers I've ever seen to this question.
RE: If I go to the movies alone...
I was 21 and had just been stood up by "friends" and decided to go to a movie and enjoy myself since I was already dressed up and ready to go out. I had a good time, and learned early that it's okay to do things by myself if nobody can go with me. I've treated myself to dinner at a nice restaurant, etc. No, you're not a loser to do this, but a strong, independent person if you can. (And who knows who you might meet in line.