druidess6308 Forum Posts (13,695)

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

Yes, I've read now through your previous posts, and Ambrose's posts as well. And I know what your situation was with your ex and your children, as you know mine. And mine were 10 years younger then, too.

Anyway, I agree. I wouldn't have a partner in my life where I had to choose either. Such a man would be too domineering for me, something I won't tolerate. Give me an ultimatum of "me or your children", it will be my children every time, regardless of how old they are then. I took it at the simplistic point then, with my first responses.

I agree with what you and Ambrose have posted on this so far...posts way to lengthy and numerous to quote and respond to on here, even with doing multiple quotes. You have both stated it well, about families, love and priorities.

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

Yes, but your children are grown and have their own lives now. Mine are still only in their teens, so if I had to choose between a romantic partner and them, they would come first. It's why I can't relocate...I won't move away from them.

RE: Would you leave your love for your children?

My kids.

RE: Mothers apart from their children.

RE: Mothers apart from their children.

I honestly find that they do, Sommer. I have certainly been judged for it, without being asked why I gave their father custody 10 years ago. It wasn't taken from me, I gave it freely, for the benefit of my children. I sacrificed to do what was best for them...I don't remember that being a sin. It was, in fact, the greatest act of love.

RE: would you get married again?

Honestly, if I found the right man (or he found me), and we knew that we wanted this to last for the rest of our shared journey in this lifetime, then I would say yes that I'd marry again.

RE: When I Say I'm Broke......I'm Broke

That's what he deserves for that tactic!

RE: Today's thought...........

Awesome post, Pat. And I already know I'm responsible for my own happiness, nobody and nothing else can give it to me, for it must come from within.

RE: is there really a way to quit smoking

Yes, it's actually more addictive than cocaine and heroin combined. And I was letting that and fear of losing my 31 yr old habit defeat me.

I walked away from alcohol and cocaine simultaneously 2/3/08, the day after I scattered my late husband's ashes on what should have been our 1-yr anniversary. Shortly after that I finally paid for the courses and first set of books to set me on my path to becoming a Doctor of Naturopathy.

Two months ago, I changed my diet completely, eliminating sugars, starches (just more sugar), red meat (very limited, anyway), etc. Eating lots more raw veggies and fruits, etc. Walking beside my best friend as she fights her cancer battle. Basically, eliminated other addictions, especially the one to sugars. I was a chocoholic, and I no longer crave chocolate at all...will even turn it down. I still have a stash, haven't touched it in two months.

Today I'm facing my fear and giving up my last physical addiction. I realized it was the only thing still standing in my way (the fear), since I've done so much other work to get over other issues associated with this habit. It helped to have a friend of mine put my smoking while studying to be a Naturopath into perspective, and tell me I was selling my soul to the devil each time I lit up. She had a point...how hypocritical was it of me to be smoking still while beginning to advise people about how to get healthier and live right.

So...today is the first day of fighting that fear, and hopefully in a few weeks to a month I'll be over that one as well.

RE: stuck up ladies

There's an excerpt from this on my profile, for this is what I seek:

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

RE: stuck up ladies

He wouldn't be the first that we've seen heal this way. However, he has to be willing to heal, and he has to be able to let go of the past, learn from it, and move on toward a future. He has to be willing to love and trust again some day. If not, the bitterness and pain from the past will prevent him from ever having a true love in his life. It's the Universal Law of Attraction...what you expect is what you will get.

RE: stuck up ladies

That's because some can never heal from the bitterness. They don't know how to let go and move on with life. Goes for women too. And if you expect something, that's what you get.

I expect positive things in my life, and that there's a genuine man out there who will fit in with my life and be able to walk it with me as a partner, and me with him...one who will love me for me as I love him for him. And I'll find him when it's meant to be. But I've let go of all of my bitterness and pain...life's too short to hang on to all of that negativity. And I've been through more than most will ever suffer...yet I've never allowed myself to be a victim, and I've torn down the walls I once had built. "Living" like that isn't truly living at all, and I need life.

RE: stuck up ladies

Lay it on a little thicker there, SND...that wasn't thick enough.

(Trust me, I know your game.)

RE: stuck up ladies

Then what's he doing on a dating site?

Hope obviously springs eternal, but the heart hasn't healed yet, and bitterness and negativity bring in what you're sending out. You think I haven't been burned before? I've been shredded in ways you can't possibly imagine. And yet, I've let that all go because I realize that not all men are like that, and that there are genuine ones out there. And if I get shredded again along the way, I'll heal that too because I'll still believe that.

RE: stuck up ladies

Not silly, Anna. Ditto.

RE: stuck up ladies

Poor, brainwashed man...someone fed you a load of crap and you started to lose your faith in reality.

The only gold I dig for is a heart of one. I'll take a silver band w/o a diamond, a simple home, and a life of being richer in love than I'll ever be in monetary ways. I know...been there, and I still treasure the memories. I'd rather find that again than a man who can buy me everything, but whose heart is cold.

RE: stuck up ladies

Ah, J.D...there are women like SomeChick and I out here, we're not a fairytale or myth.

I do hope you were sitting down...and I see you've recovered from the workout at the gym with your daughter.

RE: man in western pa here

I didn't realize you lived so close to me. Good luck in your search. I know you've been here for a while, since I've seen you in the Internationals.

RE: Should the international forums just be for friendship and chatting

I don't close any doors, Taino. If it's meant to be, there won't be obstacles that can't be overcome. And here in the US, our local (state) forums are underactive and boring because of the lack of activity in them. That's why there are so many of us from the US in the International forums.

RE: stuck up ladies

Agreed, Vanity. For many of us, the outside is not as important as the inside.

RE: stuck up ladies

Too many scammers out there. I look at the profile, and if it looks like a scammer, I delete and move on with my life.

Try hanging out in the forums, Woadan. For the most part, we're a diverse group, but many of us regulars are over 40. You never know who you might meet. Hundreds read the forums that never post, but have contacted members because they like what they post. Keep an open mind, and decide to spend some time just hanging out and having fun. Sometimes if you don't work at it too hard, love finds you.

Welcome to CS.

RE: How you handle it?

Well said, Dirko.

RE: Housekeeping... Does a messy place turn you off?

Which is why I don't worry about my "drop zone" getting cleaned up. It's the place that gives me balance to the orderliness of the rest of my house.

Seriously, I keep it clean and orderly, but it's still lived in and comfortable...after all, I have two dogs.

RE: Housekeeping... Does a messy place turn you off?

Agreed.

RE: Housekeeping... Does a messy place turn you off?

That depends...is it because they're a total slob, or because they've been busy and haven't had a chance to clean it yet?

When you're single and active, it can be hard to take care of your home the way you want to alone. But if they're a slob, it would be a dealbreaker. I clean up after my dogs and my self, and I won't live in a pigsty because a man can't clean up after himself.

RE: Who ha$ been a millionair?

You lost me there.

For my part, it's because I know that money can buy you false friends, but true friends are there whether you have it or not.

RE: Making love on the beach

Thanks for the memories!

Btw, those are also the reasons camping on the beach is no fun.

RE: Who improves a womans looks the most?

RE: Who ha$ been a millionair?

I hear you!

RE: Who ha$ been a millionair?