I believe that self esteem boils down to a number of different mindsets. We can all have highs and lows but general attitude towards ones self is much harder to change. There are those who basically feel: "I am ok and you are ok." or "I am ok,but your not ok" or "I am not ok,but you are" or "I am not ok and you are not ok too" I like to think that I hold the belief that "im ok and you are too" Untill im given good reason not too.
I have not requested any options to my beief system because I do not require any.I am very happy with the ones I have got and they remained strong at the worst of times. I have only "admitted" that I divorced. There has been no "hell" or "disapointments" or any other reason for you to sympathise with me for in relation to my belief in manogomy. And manogomy is the only topic I have posted about in this thread. I am not sure if you are on the same page. In more ways than one!
Just because I have not witnessed being cheated on does not indicate ive had a sheltered life. Some may say that it may indicate that I have been clued up enough to avoid a partner ever wanting or needing to cheat on me.As well as my choice of partner in the first place. Some may say that consistantly choosing partner who subsequently cheat indicates a very poor judge-sheltered-blinkered person?
That is all well and good but my beliefs are not based on religion as I am not religious.My beliefs are based on what I see as right and wrong as well as respect for myself and my partner. I have not changed one personal belief since divorcing. Still optomistic too. Are you?
"Potentially monogamous" is hardly brimming over with confidence!
As someone who has never felt the pain of being cheated on I have no idea how it feels and I have no wish too. Can anyone explain how it feels to be cheated on and how can it make you chance in attitude and oppinion?
"Was" is not the relevant word because we remained monogamous throughout dispite us getting together quite young and dispite the fact that we later grew to realise that we were not entirely compatable. There are many very plausable reasons why a relationship can break down.Because of there being no "guilt" or "blame" my ex wife and I are still on good terms which helps both of our children a lot. The difference today in relevance to when I first met my ex wife is that I DO know much better what I want out of a long term relationship and what I do not. The only challenge is finding it and living by the same fundimental beliefs that I held with my ex wife.
So.."So much for monogomy for you" does not hold any water at all.We were true to each other and my being divorced alongside many other people has no connection with breaking my monogomy beliefs.
I was with my ex wife over 15 years and we both were manogamous throughout.If I was not strong enough and true to my convictions then I would have taken at least one of the many chances I had when I was younger and fitter and less clued up than I am today.
Hi gift. You neglect to acknowledge that there are very many people who believe that monogamy works for them.What you seem to be doing in this thread is trying to validate your reasoning for the choices you make. To me,your choices and monogomy are worlds apart and do not belong in the same sentance!
Presumably this statement is only true in educated society and with women who are only too willing to think for themself and not have to think about what you can do for them?
In other words,it is women who are strong,independant minded and no ones fools who you dispise and the ones you can controll and manipulate who you cherrish?
is this how monogamy is supposed to be...??? Monogomy includes both parties.It does not mean that the man is allowed to screw about at will and the women only gets to screw who the man wants her to screw for his own satisfaction-if that is his wish.
There is a vast difference between passing a cake shop,salivating at there wares and deciding "Too many callories" and moving on and thinking "God I could screw her/him". One is a personal choice that effects only yourself. The other effects at least two people if not more.
OP,It seems to me that you have came to your conclusion about monogomy before exploring the facts.So instead of looking at the facts and then coming to a conclusion you have opted to start with the answer that suits you then only except aruments that support you.
I presumed that the reason for having a forum in a dating site was to get an incite into peoples personalities.Profiles are very limited. This forum is good because it allows us to show many sides of our personalities. Imagine how boring it would be if there was only soft and fluffy and playground flirt threads. I think everyone can find the level that suits them in here.
Then maybe there is an issue with how you conduct your relationships?
That will only harbour those needing an excuse to be unfaithfull. There is only one way to be monogamous. If you know that your incapable of that then acknowlege it,be open about it,and do not lead a partner on to believe that you can be monogamous. Simples.
I like a women who can lapdance fully clothed 12 feet away from me,not taking any notice of anyone else watching,while im pissing myself laughing at the balls of the stunningly beautifull mover in front of me.
It does depend on your interpritation of the word clever. My take on what is a clever women is one that is able to think clearly and make sense in what she is saying.A clever women is able to eventually admit her mistakes or hold her ground when she feels her position has not been altered. A clever women is able to show some vulnerability because she is basically confident in herself. And a clever women refuses to be controlled and has no wish to controll anyone except through the power of her sensible mind. Other than that?
I love threads that invite and encourage others to share there thoughts and experiences.I am a bit mentalyly jaded and streached for time at the moment to get involved and reply to a lot of posts at the moment. But this is a thread im sure to come back too. :A big to those who have been so open so far.
But we all close doors to those we deem as unsuitable or consider unlikely to be worth investing time and effort with? I started with an open mind then came to some conclusions,as we all do. Surely that is much better than being closed minded from the start without thinking things through?
ContraryCol Forum Posts (601)
to those who have been so open so far.
RE: Self Esteem
I believe that self esteem boils down to a number of different mindsets.We can all have highs and lows but general attitude towards ones self is much harder to change.
There are those who basically feel:
"I am ok and you are ok."
or
"I am ok,but your not ok"
or
"I am not ok,but you are"
or
"I am not ok and you are not ok too"
I like to think that I hold the belief that "im ok and you are too"
Untill im given good reason not too.