wikked Forum Posts (6,091)

How did your childhood/upbringing form who you are today??

The other thing it taught you Rob...is that you are a "survivor"..and not just back then...but today as well...

How did your childhood/upbringing form who you are today??

I know what you're talking about here Cris...I just couldn't bring myself to word it as you have...

How did your childhood/upbringing form who you are today??

Though i was born in the Islands...my parents were what was known as "British West Indians"...we had a lot of british influence when we were growing up...
My sister and I were sent to private schools so that we would not speak "slang" (though i still can if i'm really angry!! )..and to add to it..I am an English Major...I tend to enunciate all my words and speak very precise...It was what i was taught to do...today i still speak as if i were in a classroom...and to some it makes me sound snobbish..

RE: And the most requested funeral song is....

Go Rest High On That Mountain....Vince Gill

How did your childhood/upbringing form who you are today??

My childhood and my upbringing had a lot of "negative" impact on me as well..and really no one would have considered it "negative" back then and perhaps even now...but the fact is when i take a look at some of my habits (that i seem to not be able to shake) i know where i got them from...

How did your childhood/upbringing form who you are today??

There are lots of things about me that i like...and just as many that i don't like..but old habits are hard to break...and some of them stem from my "rigid" upbringing...

How did your childhood affect who you are today??...I know that there are many many wonderful memories we have and that we appreciate because ultimately they made us wonderful people...but i'm more curious to hear whether or not you think your childhood or upbringing may have had a "negative" impact on your life??

RE: Looking at profiles-What interests you/Turns you away?

Thank you...I appreciate your trying to see it for how it was meant

There are a few men on here that i am extremely attracted to...and i bet if i said who they were people would be surprised (pleasantly so no doubt!!)...and that attraction at this time is based merely on what i see of their "personality" coming out when they post...some of them though...is just a gut instinct...

Somehow Obligated????

Thank you...

I do not expect people to agree with every thing i say...and i will be the first to admit i am NOT the authority on everything...what i dislike is when their "arguments" are based on a "personal" note (ie: my appearance) rather than the comments themselves...

I have taught my children to argue their points with me...but not whine...and certainly if they feel that i am wrong they are welcome to tell me so...but they also have to tell me why...and allow me the opportunity to defend my point of view as well...It has nothing to do with the fact that I am the "mom"...

JeanC and I butted heads big time when she first came on here...today i count myself lucky that she is one of my friends...and one i hope to meet very soon...I had nothing against her points of view...and i admired her for always standing up for what she believed in...just because i may not like what someone has to "say" or "how" they say it...does not mean i don't like them as a person...

Note: I have argued cases in court...and at no time was i allowed to base my judgements on "personal" things...the judge only wanted the facts...

RE: Looking at profiles-What interests you/Turns you away?

I still think you are looking at my comments in "black and white" and not allowing for any gray areas...I can appreciate that YOU view them as a "tightrope"...i am hoping the other men out there will not do so...

You have taken and quoted some of the things i said, omitting parts of it that may (or may not) have justified my comment...making them seem very harsh indeed...

My children's needs have to come first...I am obligated to them, I am the one that CHOSE to have them...the man in my life CHOSE to be with me...he had another alternative (unlike my kids)

If a man is saying on his profile he wants kids...and in my heart i know i don't...would that not be unfair to him for me to give him hope when i know there is none?..or should i somehow (because he has all the other qualities i am attracted to) convince him he does not want children....Everyone has the right to want or not want children and i am in no place to tell them otherwise...

As i said before...my profile did not say specifically who could and who could not contact me or show interest in me...my guidelines were for who "I" would feel comfortable contacting...If they hear my views on certain things...it would be up to them to decide whether or not I was worth the effort to them...and that in itself would help my "weeding" process...

Looking forward to your response....

RE: Looking at profiles-What interests you/Turns you away?

My profile does not say what i think my "perfect match" is because frankly I don't know...but i do know what i think can make or break a relationship for me...and that's what i check out when i'm reading their profile...but i have not given anyone reason to think they could not be the one and contact me...

RE: In 10 Years, Do You See Yourself With Somenone From Here And Who?

...no point in beating around the bush huh Jean!!

I'd like to see your input on the thread "What turns you away/turn you onto a profile" (or something to that effect...)

RE: Looking at profiles-What interests you/Turns you away?

I posted my above answer before i saw yours...i will be looking forward to your input...and to say the least i'm quite taken aback at how you have viewed what i've said would "turn me away", because i truly never saw it as being "selfish" of me...I genuinely saw it as things i knew would "doom" the relationship before it started..and as AB said..give me the opportunity to have the things I require in a relationship...

I did not make mention of height, weight, ethnicity, social status or income (nor does my profile list any of these things)..as those are not the important things to me...compatibility is...I do have some preferences...but thats all they were personal preference, not carved in stone...

RE: Looking at profiles-What interests you/Turns you away?

I am 42...realistically do these young men (and i'm talking between 21 and 28) really think that there could be a "happily ever after" for us??...I'm not that keen on anyone in their early 30's either but at least i would not discount them...
If a man can say on his profile he "definitely" wants children (and that is his right to do so) why can't i say that i definitely do not??..i'm not knocking his desire to have kids, but as the woman who will be carrying them i think i have the right to say that i don't want to be doing that in my 40's...I've made my kids..I just want to watch them grow up now...and look forward to grandkids...mine or theirs!
The reason i say i don't want to be with a man who has never been a parent is because as much as they say they can understand...they will never be able to understand the sacrifices and distances you will go for your children...I'm not saying that they would not genuinely try to love my kids...but i do believe that the first time it is put to the test (where my children and not his needs come first) we will have a problem...so to nip that in the bud, I choose to only date people who i know if i call and cancel any plans because of my kids..they will understand because chances are they've had to do that a time or two themselves...

I still don't think these are "high standards"...more realistic thats all...
You've listed the ones you thought made it a "tightrope" but you have not said WHY you thought it was a "tightrope"

RE: Looking at profiles-What interests you/Turns you away?

Do you really think so??? ...if you don't mind my asking..Why?? and which ones??

RE: Looking at profiles-What interests you/Turns you away?

Like some of the people above said..I check out their profile either because of something they've posted on the forums or just because their picture caught my eye...

The things that may "turn me away" (and that does not imply turned me off..i'm just being realistic) Is younger men..as much as they may think they can see a "future" they have the time to "test that theory"...I don't..
Men that still want children...though i am still capable of having children and would welcome them if it happened..I do not want to be making babies in my 40's so would not put myself with someone who having children is a priority for them...
I live in Canada and i have to be realistic about the distance thing...there are some i've met where relocating is not open for discussion...it is something i feel does need to be discussed...
Men that have no children nor want any...does not appeal to me..(we've done a thread on this already i believe)

So i don't think that makes me a "player" or even "picky"...I'm just trying to be realistic here

RE: In 10 Years, Do You See Yourself With Somenone From Here And Who?

I would have liked to see myself with John 10 years from now...that's not going to happen...but i'm open to suggestions!!

RE: In 10 Years, Do You See Yourself With Somenone From Here And Who?

You know Paul..if you could just be serious for once...you may actually get your dream to come back and thank us all in 10 years!!

Or where you being serious????

RE: hows everyone doin tonite?

Hi Skip...

Available...but...Taken...

I believe i have said in another thread..the words "I'm IN LOVE with you" seldom crosses my lips (I have no problem with saying I love anyone or anything..its the "in love" part that chokes me)...because i know when i say them, i will never take them back...regardless of what happens in the future...

I have never stopped "loving" the people of my past...but i am realistic enough to know all the love in the world cannot make a relationship last if its not meant to be...so i moved on...that does not mean to say that i cannot be just as loving and devoted to another partner though...

Available...but...Taken...

Yes and you have described more or less what i was talking about...

The only thing i question..is when will it be "fair"...he's not ready to commit...and you respect that it seems...so what should you really do??? Sit and wait??...what if the next person is ready to commit to you and you to them...how would you have known...

RE: Whats your idea of a perfect date?

hmmmm...."nice"...how exciting that sounds...

RE: Ok, who's a Member??????????????????????

Have you never heard "as two become one..."...

We didn't need enough room in there for "two" people...just one

RE: Why did I love Canada?

Wikked man!! I nearly got thrown off of the Int'l because of you!!

Hi Orchid!!

RE: Ok, who's a Member??????????????????????

There was a time when the bathrooms were more spacious...lol...

and it is amazing how one will adapt in the interest of "adventure"...

RE: When's Your B-Day

October 18th, 1964

RE: Why did I love Canada?

So does "Gentlepaws" (Leo) who was another one of the awesome people that was part of this get together in August...

BTW Cat...you forgot to mention "Brussells" (Ontario)

RE: Ok, who's a Member??????????????????????

I am...

RE: An apology to the guys

BTW Charlie...I can't believe i was just one in a seemingly very long line of women AND MEN that you flowered...and with the same introductory line too!!

Available...but...Taken...

I think you are making a great point here Skip...but could you break it down a little more...??

Available...but...Taken...

But is it fair to the next person you meet...or are you being fair to the other women who are interested in you?...because you know in your heart you are still "carrying the torch" for someone else, whether the feeling was returned or not...