To what extent really does someone's picture on here mean to you??
I see so much importance being placed on them...the poses..the outfits...the degree of seductivity...etc etc...How in the world do you know that is a picture of them in the first place??...How do you know how old that picture is??...and how did you arrive at the conclusion that this "picture" says it ALL about them??
I think most people have CONVINCED themselves that they are on here to genuinely meet someone and would be willing to do what it takes to have that "relationship"...
It is amazing the confidence one garners by sitting behind the shield of their monitor and speaking through the keyboard!
So then just reply to the ones whose faces are showing (hopefully it is really THEIR face...) and stop spending time worrying about the pics where the persons face is not showing...
Or perhaps there is some census team on here that the rest of us are not aware of??
Note: This IS A DATING SITE...for all the people who just want forums and people to talk trivials to...why not try a FORUM SITE???
However, Lorraine...the black leather belt pic was only ONE of three i had up...and i think the others showed my face (and by the way enough of my face had to be showing or else it would not have been approved by the CS staff...)
In anycase i have new ones up...you might even like this one...its one taken of me first thing in the morning..no makeup..my hair not combed, still in my pajamas...and worse no coffee!!
How's that?...feel better?
You see the thing is i really don't care what picture i have up...most oft times i put "those" ones up because it irritates the hell out of the women on here and i have no idea why because i can't see how MY appearance is going to change their current status one IOTA!!...and then again perhaps if they focused more on why they are on a dating site and less on how i or any other woman looks on here they may have better luck...of course that's just my opinion
This is what i'm talking about Fire...that the package and everything else looks "good to go"...but there's that niggling feeling inside as "words" come out...that this is not the best situation for myself...but you're sooooo hoping....
When you meet someone and start dating them...what are the signs early on that you just know its not going to work...
And i'm not talking you see someone go out once and call it a day..i'm talking you get "involved" with the person, because there is some type of "connection" there...you do want it to work...but there are "little" indications that you just know this relationship is not good for you...and not just the things they do...but things they say...
Again, I would like the honest opinions/answers from the men...
If a man says to a woman that he has just gotten out of a serious relationship, and is too afraid of being hurt right now but would still love to be "just friends"....does he mean that or does he want the "friends with benefit" without the responsibilites of a "boyfriend"
The poll that i read suggested that if a man is truly serious about you, nothing will stand in his way of "getting involved" again...because he really can't help himself...
Thanks Fire...I think perhaps thats what happened is that all of a sudden it just came back as if it only happened yesterday...
It may be because i have gotten so much mail of late from people who think that i somehow got exempt from being hurt in my life...that I "have it all"...that my self-confidence was a given rather than something i had to work very very hard at to have...that each and every day is a struggle for me...to overcome things...
I didn't think of it as whining...I thought of it as perhaps sharing and healing...so that i can move on...ya know??...
It was one of my main reasons for posting this tonight...for so long i kept these things inside because i was so ashamed to appear "weak" but i did realize today (don't really know why today) that it i don't get this out and start to heal i am stealing away the best years of my life...and really just "playing" at living...
I am a strong woman...and like you said...when i look back at some of the things i went through even i shake my head in disbelief..and if i were not a survivor i would have laid down long ago and let life just run me over...
I suppose to me part of beginning to heal is to admit that it is there and that it does exist...it also helps knowing that i am not the only one (as one tends to do...)
I genuinely love life, i love to laugh and enjoy my friends...i also know i have a lot to offer the RIGHT person..but there was always this part of me that i carried alone...
Everything you are saying here is like another nail being hit on its head...
I choose to love people who don't return that love or who cannot love me back...because it justifies all the reasons i tell myself i am not worthy of being loved..
The people who want to love and cherish me i hide from...
Contrary to popular belief...i can relate to what swtnsassy said...I am my own harshest critic...i push people away because i can't bear for them to know what's inside me...and i don't think they will like me if i let them see that "lost soul" inside me...that still cries out for justice for the indignities, answers as to why i lost mine when others who don't want theirs still have them... So what i let them see is what they want to see...and who...
..."You will know it is a trigger and related to a past experience when your emotional response is way out of proportion to the situation or event that is happening at the time!!!!!!!"....
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...Thanks for at least being honest!
Is A Picture Worth A Thousand Words???
Well okay...I can honestly say this is John...but then Cran can attest to who i am too!!