I remember when my mother in law died...my "ex" is an only child for his parents...and at her unexpected passing they were in no way prepared for handling her affairs or the funeral...
It was left on my shoulders to make all the arrangements..do all the running around...and grieve desperately for a woman i loved with all my heart...plus i had a 5 and 8 year old i was trying to explain this all to....
She was cremated and it took a month before we could have the internment as i had to arrange for a burial site a "niche' and wait for the carving to be done...I also had her financial affairs to take care of as well as her "personals"...and i was the "crutch" my father in law leaned on to get through this...
My husband turned to another woman during this time...why??? because he says i was not there for "him"
Obviously he remembers that time differently from what i did...
Thanks Ron...but what happened to the not wanting to be hurt again...or not feeling like you want to be in a relationship...does that change your answer any....or would you still take the chance?
If you were really attracted/interested in a woman...but was just too afraid of "jumping in" or being hurt again...what would you do?
Would you ask her to be a friend so that you could still enjoy her company? Would you break off the relationship before you hurt her by your seemingly indifference?
I have had 3 "interests" from members of this site...
The first one lasted four months and i really wanted things to work..but "circumstances" didn't allow for it..and though we remain friends...we went our separate ways...but there were not hysterics or drama...just the understanding that it was just bad timing for us
The second was a "long distance" thing...and though i also doubled my efforts on this one understanding that a long distance relationship was more effort...i still didn't work..and again it was just bad timing for us...things beyond our control happened...and unfortunately though i was ever willing to stand by him...he distanced himself from me as he dealt with his problems and by the time we tried to "mend things" too much water had gone under that bridge...and though i still care deeply for him...like i said too much water....
The third person i have met...and i talk to regularly...but we started out as friends...and though there may be a bit more there now (well for me anyways) he is still my friend...and the "L" word has not entered the picture...nor do i care to hear that right now..i am just happy to have someone i care and respect and most of all trust immensely...I know he is not a player and has no interest in mind games...and that works just fine for me...
I say go for it if you are interested in him...after all who will understand your hurt better than him...since he was also and innocent victim in all of this...
I know men do this all the time...let a woman know he's interested without knowing for certain those feelings are returned...but since we were speaking of honesty here was just curious to see how many women consider this "being honest" as well...(and that's being honest to herself!!)
I have accustomed myself to doing this...as i get older i realize that i don't have a lot of time to waste doing the "dance"..if i'm interested i let you know...and if i'm not...i let you know that too!
as you said...I have nothing to lose and everything to gain...I hope there are men out there who can appreciate that and see it for what it is...I am not a player...I don't want to second guess them...and i don't want them to have to second guess me either...
Just out of curiousity...are there any women on here who would be "honest" enough to tell a man they are interested in him...before he gave any signal that he may be interested in them???
Don't know if anyone watches the "Survivor" series...but the new one has just started...with a very controversial twist...they have separated the "tribes" according to ethnic races...
There are the "Caucasian, Hispanics, Asians and African Americans"
If I have something to say...I say it...That may be called being "straightforward"...it may be called being "honest" whatever is the term for it...I consider myself that...
So let me get this straight...she made an incredibly long trip to see you...you enjoyed dinner together and had a nice time...and she left and went home...
Not sure what i'm missing here...are you suggesting that because she didn't stay over or because you both didn't end up in bed that the date was a bust????
Well that same situation came up where the young sikhs were allowed to wear it in school...IN BLOODY SCHOOL for God's sake...my KIDS go to those schools...were are their rights to be in a "safe" environment?
And don't get me wrong...I love the fact that Canada is multicultural and tolerant of other races/creeds and religion...but my goodness where does Canada draw the line?? Pretty soon the Canadians won't know what country we live in...
I'll tell you Native...nothing pissed me off more than when the Sikhs were allowed to wear their traditional turban in the RCMP...I think i lost some respect for the country i had adopted that day (and its been on a steady decline ever since...but its still my home)
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Men Never Remember....And Women Never Forget!!!
Good Gawd Roy...that is not a compliment!!!