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Last Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.

zmountainman

UK's X files release delayed, again!

Release of 18 files containing details of unidentified aerial phenomena, that's UFOs to you & me, have been delayed again, till at least next March uh oh included in these files is "The Redlesham Forest incident, which is alleged to have taken place near USAF Woodbridge, Suffolk, in 1980, saw US Airman First Class John Burroughs, who was stationed there, exposed to radiation after a mystery "UFO visitation", though I spent a week on the base I am unable to tell you what I discovered about this incident uh oh sigh

The new timing for the release is I think highly significant professor by March the new president for the USA will have been sworn in & the UK will have activated article 50 to leave the EU, one doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to work out there's a cover up here, there are several possibilities, could Hillary in fact be an alien robot, her health issues a dummy to cover the software flaws that give her robotic movement & make her fall over regularly dunno the same could be said of Junker at the EU, his speeches often described as rambling & indecipherable, or could we be missing the real clue that no human has hair like Donald dunno or as they never seem to talk with each other could the entire British cabinet be alien robots with a communications problem, indeed if that's the case I suspect Russian hackers to be behind that professor

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zmountainman

A Christmas ad.

For animal lovers applause

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zmountainman

I've stretched it & now it's too long !

As this is an over 18's site I should be safe to talk about this uh oh I remember when it happened as if it were yesterday, though in reality it happened in about 1956 sigh The house where I was born in London had a high wall around it but in the middle were pillars so I could peek through & see the world go by, not that there was ever much activity it being a quiet road, anyway it must have been summer as I was looking through the gaps when a group of older boys came along, they must have been the local gang of "tearaways" as without any warning whatsoever they turned my life inside out, not a thought for my sanity they stopped & one of them said those words, the most feared words a boy of four could ever hear " You know there is no Santa Claus " , well I was stunned but still held on to the forlorn hope they were wrong & rushed inside to consult my mother, I can't now remember what she said but my parents went on with the fraud for years after, but deep down inside I knew it was true, I had been born into a world without Santa wow doh Or had I, on the BBC news last night they showed Santa's progress around the world & you can now even track him on Google professor But just to be on the safe side this year I decided, just in case he didn't arrive, that I should solve my biggest problem myself, I've been stretching it longer & longer in the last few years, to the point where it's too hard to use, I consulted a specialist & he told me I'd over done it with the file on my teeth as well as over stretching it, well what did he expect, you need sharp teeth help there was nothing else I could do but treat myself to a new chain for my chainsaw dancingsanta gingerbread

Embedded image from another site


Merry Christmas bloggers christmas cool
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Crazyheart38

Can We Bring Back The Old Blog Format Please....

it's the one where most recent blogs appear on top and not the last commented one...?
It's kinda strange reading multiple blogs form one blogger...boring actuallylaugh

and stale blogs keep appearing on top is also not cool, specially if they are nasty topic that most of us can't relate onsigh

resurrecting old classic blogs seems more fun than blogs nowadays ...

just saying hi and wondering if anyone here got laid recentlyrolling on the floor laughing reading the blogs here, I doubt it

laugh
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chatilliononline now!

Business Proposal...

I got up this morning thinking, there must be a way to quickly become a multi-millionaire. I just need to find the right Business Proposal. If I play my cards right, I'd be rich in just 2 weeks...
Awesome.

thumbs up
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chatilliononline now!

Funny Johnny Carson's quips...

Two generations stayed up late watching Johnny Carson host of the Tonight Show.
I remember friends repeating some of the funny things he said. If you know the show, his side kick and co-host Ed McMahon would often lead Johnny into something funny.
For example:
Johnny would say "It was really hot today"
Ed would comment "How hot was it Johnny"
Carson would come back with "It was so hot, I saw a bird cooking a worm on the sidewalk"
Typically, there would be a rimshot from the band's drummer signifying a joke!

Some of the people he interviewed said funny things and they both would laugh to tears.
That's the way it was with Johnny.

There was a blooper when he interviewed the wife of famous pro-golfer Jack Nicklaus. He asked her if she did anything to give him good luck before an important match. She replied "I kiss his balls" Realizing what she had said, she corrected herself by saying "his golf balls" but that was too late as Johnny had the comeback "I bet that made his putter rise to the occasion" totally embarrassed, she left the stage.

I didn't get to see it, but another memorable moment was when Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the show. She was sitting in the chair with a cat on her lap. When she asked Johnny if he wanted to pet her p*ssy he said...


It was brought up years later by Jane Fonda.

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chancer_returns

Punbelievable!

I can't believe it was Pancake Tuesday recently. It really CREPE-D up on us... dancing

Pun very much intended handshake
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Catfoot

This House Is Haunted!

Last evening I paid a courtesy visit to the elderly couple who bought my house last year. I should have done it earlier but I have been so busy lately that I forgot to get around to it.innocent

I was received rather stiffly but they invited me into the house. It was a queer feeling to be a guest in the house that was mine for so long. We made some small talk chatting about the weather and what not while the new lady of the house made coffee but the conversation just did not flow. The atmosphere was so thick, you could cut it with a knife! I decided to leave as soon as we had coffee.sigh

When the hostess arrived back, she served the coffee and sat down. “Why didn’t you tell us the house is haunted?” she blurted it out. I was dumbstruck. I lived in the house for more than 30 years, 25 of them alone, and there never was a problem. I got visions my late grandfather patrolling the passage with his shotgun.help


She went on to explain that her crockery starts rattling in the kitchen cupboards at random times, day or night and that it is driving them crazy. And just then, as if on cue, the crockery in the kitchen started rattling. They were petrified and I started laughing.rolling on the floor laughing

There is a well point in the garden with a raised reservoir. I rigged the ball valve of a toilet cistern to a micro switch to turn the pump on when the reservoir is not full. The pump is in a small locked enclosure on the back verandah next to the kitchen wall. Two mounting bolts are attached to the floor and two to the kitchen wall. Somehow, the vibration of the pump is transferred, along the otherwise solid wall, to the build-in kitchen cupboards. I had it all the time but I was so used to it that it did not bother me.grin

I took them outside to show them the ‘ghost’. When we went back into the house, my host produced a bottle of brandy and very soon we were laughing about the whole story. They thought I came to offer them half price they paid me, to buy my haunted house back.laugh
cats meow cats meow

You have a great day out there!wave
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EXRED3

OH YEAH OH YEAH OHHHH NOOOOO

I am starting a detective agency detective

I am looking for the men who whistled at me when a young girl wow its illegal now i want them in court.

I am looking for the young men who wanted and tried to kiss me in my teens thumbs down s*xual abuse.

I am looking for the old gagies who used to have their willies out when we past them after school. doh Oh my they are all past away now. No court for them then.

My list goes on back 30years i think grin when life was so different than now Men cannot even look at me now blues in case i have them in court.

I will let you know when the big court case goes ahead ONLY THOSE WITH MONEY THOUGH I need my legal costs paid for plus a lump sum yay yay yay
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