Last Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.
And when I am finished you will be weak for days.
All my love
The Flu

Now get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!

Crooked lying Donald Trump is using his social media (propaganda outlet) to state more falsehoods about justice department rules that don't exist, claiming that “The Very Strict Rules and Regulations of the Department of Injustice STATE CLEARLY that you can’t prosecute a Political Opponent, or anyone, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS/HER CAMPAIGN.”
Oh, I get it. While it's not a rule of the (DOJ) Department of Justice, in Trump's world those rules exist in the (DOI) Department of Injustice.



This isn't political, it's humor.
Link:

Police Share Mugshot of Canine Officer Accused of 'Stealing'



It looks like Officer Ice is in some deep doo-doo. Officer Ice has reportedly landed himself in the doghouse with the Wyandotte Police Department. The police department in Wyandotte, Michigan, recently broke the news that a canine officer by the name of Officer Ice is under investigation for committing a major crime: stealing table food.

"Stealing is not only a crime but it is morally wrong too," the department wrote in a Facebook post. "Some jobs, like that of being a police officer, require you to take an oath prior to starting. Within the officer's sworn oath is the promise to protect person's property." "That being said, it saddens me to report that a current officer of the Wyandotte Police Department is under investigation for stealing!" the post continued, alongside a photo of the German Shepherd in question posing for his mugshot.

The scene of the crime was revealed as the break room at the police station, where an Officer Barwig was eating his lunch when he was called to assist with another situation. "He quickly jumped into service, leaving half his eaten lunch on the table," according to the Facebook post. "A short while later Barwig and another officer returned to the break room only to find Ofc. Ice leisurely strolling out of the room licking his chops. Barwig's entire lunch was gone...disappeared, vanished!"

After being caught red-handed, Officer Ice has apparently "invoked his fifth amendment right to remain silent and quite frankly is not cooperating with the investigation." "He has a history of rummaging through trash cans that are within his reach," the police department noted, adding, "There have been several other accusations of him taking food right from coworker's hands as they walk by."

"WPD will consider our Facebook followers opinions on how to proceed with this investigation," the post concluded. Looks like Officer Ice screwed the pooch on that one!

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

You know , the thing the thing man. All men (and women) are created equal

A decade may sound like forever but not so...time flies I've been blogging here for 2 years and still single! Many here are blogging long before my time and still very much single Makes me wonder why

Well, from what I read here, many are too good to settle for someone not so perfect....and they have every right to be picky

I'm not the type who think much about the future. I live life each day at a time...enjoy and appreciate it as much as I can. When my son talks about his dreams and plans for the future, it makes me smile to think of a happier life ahead. 10 years from now, he'll be an adult who knows and does exactly what he wants. I will be 49, hopefully will still like sex At that age, I see myself sharing a life with the man of my dream...enjoying a fun life minus the worries and anxieties that I have now...

What about you?

Come on people, it's like a ghost town here ...let's have some fun ... I didn't take some phone calls just to post this blog...let's bring some life and fun in this blogland

This isn't one of those times

Been There, Done That ?

According to Wikipedia:

Menopause, also known as the climacteric, is the time in most women's lives when menstrual periods stop permanently, and they are no longer able to have children , a natural change that typically occurs between 45 and 55 years of age. It can occur earlier in those who smoke tobacco. Other causes include surgery that removes both ovaries, or some types of chemotherapy. At the physiological level, menopause happens because of a decrease in the ovaries' production of the hormones estrogen and progesterone.

Symptoms:

* Dyspareunia is painful s*xual intercourse due to medical or psychological causes. The pain can primarily be on the external surface of the genitalia, or deeper in the pelvis upon deep pressure against the cervix. It can affect a small portion of the vulva or va*ina or be felt all over the surface

* Vaginal dryness

* Atrophic vaginitis (also known as vaginal atrophy, vulvovaginal atrophy, or urogenital atrophy) is an inflammation of thevagina (and the outer urinary tract) due to the thinning and shrinking of the tissues, as well as decreased lubrication. These symptoms are due to a lack of the reproductive hormone estrogen.

Other physical symptoms of menopause include: lack of energy, joint soreness, stiffness, back pain, breast enlargement, breast pain, heart palpitations, headache, dizziness, dry, itchy skin, thinning, tingling skin, weight gain, urinary incontinence, urinary urgency, interrupted sleeping patterns, heavy night sweats, hot flashes.

Psychological symptoms include: anxiety, poor memory, inability to concentrate, depressive mood, irritability,mood swings,less interest in s*xual activity.

Yes, Yes, we all know about menopause...

This blog is not to educate others about menopause...as I haven't experienced it yet...not looking forward to it tho! 'Was sitting with friends yesterday and this topic came up. Most of my friends here in Jordan are either going through menopause or were already there. Symptoms they are going/went through are exactly what I read about on the internet and books but in most "s*xual" topics here on blogs and forum, many women who are past the menopausal age claimed to be "hotter" after menopause...this is contradicting science and what I've heard from those who went through it ...makes me wonder if they're simply BSing and "wet dreaming" here ? Many here claimed to be very sexually active after menopause...more than ever and looking for a nicely packaged hot tall, dark and handsome man who has all the right qualities...won't settle for less than great sex...seriously?

Here is a great place to read and learn from the experiences of others but it seems many here are in denial of their decline and failures in life...who are we kidding ?

Most of my friends who are going through menopause or been there said that they're no longer interested in dating...menopause makes them feel sexually unattractive and "old". This doesn't make me look forward to my menopausal days at all

For the men:

Would you date a woman who's going through menopause and experiencing those symptoms above ?