In Arabic countrys if you are in love with the women,you have to signe a ( contract ) to pay her if there is a divorce. ( I mean her not the baby ). And by gold possibly.
Ex. If She is born in 1967 you have to pay her 1967 piece of gold or a big amount of money and i'm not kidding man,its there culture.
If the intention behind the arrangement is to find the best, and most compatible match for the 2 people involved, and they are both in agreement with it,I should do.
I can't see why it hasn't got at least as good a chance of working as meeting somebody in a bar or CS
Matchmaking was very common in Ireland in previous generations, and seemed to work well. There are still some matchmakers around, and are kept very busy.
As well as a 5 week Matchmaking Festival in Sept. If you are looking for a mad,crazy festival, as well as meeting lots of singles, it is not to be missed!
mollybaby: If the intention behind the arrangement is to find the best, and most compatible match for the 2 people involved, and they are both in agreement with it,I should do.
I can't see why it hasn't got at least as good a chance of working as meeting somebody in a bar or CS Matchmaking was very common in Ireland in previous generations, and seemed to work well. There are still some matchmakers around, and are kept very busy.
As well as a 5 week Matchmaking Festival in Sept. If you are looking for a mad,crazy festival, as well as meeting lots of singles, it is not to be missed!
Molly, its not a commun match making. ( I have in my village too ). There is bar and a guy puts up a match making and all the girls nearby come to join and voilà le jeux sont fait.
Here we are talking about marriage arangement ( YOU HAVE TO MARY MY DAUGHTER IF NOT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. )
As an example.
The guy goes to her house with his mum ,sits down and talks with her Dad, a cup of tea, she comes out of the door and he already has saw the girl on a picture and he just says yeah that's her I want. ( you better say that twice ),then the money comes up.
very rarely the daughter goes against the willing of her DAD. And + there is always a conflit against her familly.
just wanted to let you know in Arabic countrys the DAD décides. In Europe SHE décides.
Len05: It is popular in few cultures/religions. tell us about it.
Do modern people see possibilities in such a system? even if it doesn't exist in their background
They may work because cultures with arranged marriages have a totally different attitude towards life and each other. I'd expect that even if they ditched arranged marriage and became more liberal their marriages would still be more successful- at least for a while.
It takes some time for the rot to set it in. Your society turning liberal does not mean that you yourself transform into a self-centred, instantly-gratifying ingrate overnight, it takes some years for all the traditional decencies and disciplines to die away. But they do eventually.
So anyway I don't see any use for arranged marriage in our culture because we'd never be able to pull them off. Not in our current condition. It would take some massive crisis, a war or plague or something for us to see the appeal of planning, obeying and reigning in our own chaotic impulses.
Alexandro10: Molly, its not a commun match making. ( I have in my village too ). There is bar and a guy puts up a match making and all the girls nearby come to join and voilà le jeux sont fait.
Here we are talking about marriage arangement ( YOU HAVE TO MARY MY DAUGHTER IF NOT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. )
As an example.
The guy goes to her house with his mum ,sits down and talks with her Dad, a cup of tea, she comes out of the door and he already has saw the girl on a picture and he just says yeah that's her I want. ( you better say that twice ),then the money comes up.
very rarely the daughter goes against the willing of her DAD. And + there is always a conflit against her familly.
just wanted to let you know in Arabic countrys the DAD décides. In Europe SHE décides.
I am aware of the differences in culture between East and West.
I am also aware that many are forced marriages rather than simply arranged marriages.
But I was talking about scenarios where the parents arrange marriages, although obviously with social standing etc., taken into account, but they also have the welfare of both the prospective groom and bride in mind. These do also take place . A parent's love for their children is not exclusive to the western world.
I agree with you 100% molly. I never pointed out that you werent aware . I just wanted to make sure that my message was clear. Because having had an expérience with an persian girl ( and I didnt even go to Iran . I Cant, having an Italian nationality and who cares ) its a very difficult relationship to handle. It was hard for me ,nevermind for an 100% europen.
If you cannot find your own wife/husband and need mommy/daddy to find one for you, you are an idiot. I was married 35 years and guess what found my own wife.
Winthrop48: If you cannot find your own wife/husband and need mommy/daddy to find one for you, you are an idiot. I was married 35 years and guess what found my own wife.
Soul_Whisperer101Cape Town, Western Cape South Africa40 posts
There should be an Option - 'Depends!' (There are many arranged marriages in 'other' Cultures,,,that apparently do work! i.e. 'Indian culture to name just one!'.
Dec 20, 2014 7:08 AM CST Do arranged marriages work?
Bspoken4My forest, Western Cape South Africa636 Posts
Bspoken4My forest, Western Cape South Africa636 posts
^^^ What she says...correct, though not on such a large scale nowadays. My family, those of a few generations above me - 80 % arranged marriages and 95% still in the relationship as yet.
I just need to find: 1 almost perfect Man (you know what I mean ;) ) based in EU and not older than 49, cos I don't want my Mom to feel I married someone she would want to marry herself ;)
I do not believe this type of marriages work, at least most of them don't. No matter the culture, nobody can tell their hearts to love or at least like a person they don't. They stay together cause they have no choice, does it mean that this, sometimes lifelong marriage is good?! It works for somebody (out of the marriage) but for the wrong reasons...
Tori10: There should be an Option - 'Depends!' (There are many arranged marriages in 'other' Cultures,,,that apparently do work! i.e. 'Indian culture to name just one!'.
Len05: It is popular in few cultures/religions. tell us about it.
Do modern people see possibilities in such a system? even if it doesn't exist in their background
Both of my paternal and maternal marriages were pre arranged and never knew each other well until immigrating to the USA in early 20th century. Worked for them but no one since, in our family, has approached marriage in this manner.
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Do arranged marriages work?(Vote Below)
Do modern people see possibilities in such a system? even if it doesn't exist in their background