Put on a cowboy hat and boots, get your Texan accent right, then head down to the fish markets. March purposefully up to the octopus stand, and in a Texan drawl, demand the biggest goddam octopus this side of the Tallahassee river.
Then stuff the octopus into your briefcase, being careful to stuff all the tentacles in. Then catch the bus home.
Tie the octopus to the clothesline by its tentacles, then work it for around 15 minutes with the sparring gloves. Not just left jabs, but some nice combinations with a bit of headbutting and elbows.
The thing is Pedro, you could get a woman before the week is out. Sure, she wont be that pretty or that small, but she'll have plenty of fillings and tattoos (and kids).
Ah, I see. So you'd prefer to date a guy who has no hands at all. Sitting there at the dinner table, spooning mush into his drooling mouth and then holding a harmonica for him as he tries to play it, covering everything in drool and phlegm.
Recently, a close friend asked me for a Dutch oven. Of course I wanted to impress her so I went to the appliance shop and asked the woman if she could help me to get a Dutch oven. She blushed and told me she finishes at 5 and gave me her number. But then I realised it is mothers day soon, and that Mum needs a new oven, but I wasnt sure if she wants a new one so I sent her a text- "Would you like a Dutch oven?". Then, while I was catching the train home, I overheard 2 tourists from the Netherlands and so I suggested they might like to come over for a Dutch oven.
pat8lanips Forum Posts (6,372)
RE: Isle of man TT
I sure hope my syrupy charms work out on Lesbos. I might take along a haloumi cheese to sweeten the deal.