5 Early Warning Signs Of An Abusive Relationship

Abuse can begin very early in a relationship even if you can't spot the warning signs. Being able to cover abusive behavior by pretending they are acts of love is manipulative behavior. It's important to see actions for what they are instead of the excuses behind them. The following are five early warning signs of abuse.

1. Quick involvement

Quick involvement can be an early warning sign for abuse because the man you've just started dating might use pressure or guilt to get you to move in with him or even marry him. Committing quickly is a way for an abuser to gain control in a relationship. He may sweep you off your feet and make you think he is the greatest man you've ever met. This is a tactic that is used to get women to commit quickly.

2. Irrational jealousy

Jealousy can be flattering, but it can quickly become a larger problem. When jealousy turns into your boyfriend telling you who you can and cannot spend time with and talk to, what you can wear, or where you can go, this is a red flag. It's easy to feel that your boyfriend cares about you so much that he sets these boundaries, but this is a form of control. Your boyfriend can certainly express how he feels, but you should never feel that you need to change you life to keep his jealousy at bay.

3. Isolation

Isolation is a form of abuse that is often missed in the early stages of a relationship because it is viewed as a new couple simply spending all of their time together. If you find that you are unable to spend time with friends or family because your boyfriend says he wants to be with you all the time, this is a red flag you cannot ignore. Isolation is a form of control. An abuser will be able to convince you that you can only count on him and make you feel guilty if you need anyone else.

4. Criticism over mistakes

If your boyfriend points out all of your mistakes, this can be an early warning sign of abuse. It might seem like he's just trying to be helpful, but if you feel bad because he's constantly pointing out what you are doing wrong it's not a good thing. His criticisms may become worse over time and turn into insults about how smart you are. Someone who is constantly pointing out what he considers mistakes is usually insecure and need someone to take it out on.

5. Explosive temper

If the man you're dating has a temper, even if it's not aimed at you, this is a red flag. You can see that he has a temper and though he may have self-control with you when you're newly dating, this likely won't always be the case. Abusers control themselves on purpose to get you to trust them and think you're the special one he won't lash out at. Once he gains that trust you will begin to experience the temper that others have been experiencing. Don't be naive and think that you're the one he won't blow up at. If he could control himself, he would do it with others.

It's possible to spot abusive behavior when you're in a new relationship if you keep your eyes open. Don't be blinded by love and focus on only the good you see. Sometimes the things that look like the actions of a good boyfriend are really covering up what he doesn't want you to see yet. Don't confuse manipulation and romance.

(Natural4you has a good point in his comment below. Men can also be victims of abuse in a relationship and the abuse signs described above can certainly relate to women as well as men.)