Four Lines That Should Not be in Your Online Dating Profile

Many people are uncomfortable describing themselves, whether for a job interview or a therapy session, and online dating is no exception. Sometimes this discomfort results in a profile that's bland and generic or haughty and insecure. If your online dating profile hasn't been getting the results you hoped for, look it over for some variation of these four lines.

"I hate writing these things. How can I possibly summarize myself?"

Of course you're much too complex for any 300-word summary to capture. Unfortunately, just like the guy selling you a TV should be able to tell you what its stats and features are, you should be able to give potential partners a rough idea of what makes you different from the 9 other people that show up in the search results page with you. Informative profiles are part of what makes online dating functional, and including a line like this makes it sound like either you think you're above the system, or there just isn't anything interesting about you to say.

"I'm shy and awkward at first, but friendly once you get to know me."

This line is very overused, and most of the time, there's no need for its presence. Making apologies for your shyness is a purely self-protective move that tells very little about you and does nothing to set you apart from the others. Online dating has a lot of awkwardness built into it, and most people accept and acknowledge this. Focus on what your personality is like when you get more comfortable with someone, and accept that a bit of awkwardness is the price of meeting someone new.

"I love going out on the town, but I also like quiet nights at home."

This line is creaky from overuse, and aside from shut-ins and obsessive partiers it describes almost everyone. It's much better to give some details about what your ideal nights out and nights in would involve. Will you be drinking beer or martinis? Will you go bowling or to the opera? What kind of movie will you be watching when curled up on the couch, and will you be ordering pizza or whipping up some curry?

"I'll treat you well."

Aside from a small minority of people with psychological issues, most people want to be treated well. So how could using this line be a bad thing? For most people, "being treated well" isn't a selling point, it's a given – like expecting that your new apartment will have running water or your bicycle will have handlebars. If you use this line, it's a signal that on some level you don't think you have much else to offer. Describe the other things that make you a catch, and let the way you treat your partner speak for itself.

What these four things have in common is resistance to real, authentic self-description, which is what ultimately makes the difference between people just looking at your profile and actually following through with a message. Removing any of these lines and replacing them with something that gives more detail about your life and personality will always make your profile more enticing.