Alone by Choice: Why Some People Decide to Remain Single

The bias of our society encourages us to feel sorry for those who are alone and to wish them luck in landing a good partnership. But for many people the single life is not a dismal or lonely experience at all. It is a way of life that they have chosen. There are many factors that can influence such a choice; and they will vary from person to person. Oftentimes, though, these motivations boil down to some form of emotional and/or financial freedom that people are seeking.

When you're alone you don't have to justify how you spend your time or your money to anyone but yourself. You can uproot and relocate if the spirit moves you without having to worry about how your desire might impact upon a significant other. You have more control over your schedule and the ways in which you prioritize your time. You don't have to worry about any personal habits that others might find annoying if you feel comfortable with them yourself.

The choice to be single can even be a good career strategy. Many people have put their personal ambitions on hold in order to support spouses and/or children. When you're alone, you have no one to thank or blame for your successes and failures save for yourself. Many people find that remaining single teaches them self-reliance. Being obliged to deal with their problems alone, they discover resources within themselves that they never knew they possessed. This can lead to increased self-confidence and resourcefulness.

People learn to trust themselves in new ways; and this, in itself, can open up the doors of opportunity. They wouldn't enjoy such complete freedom to navigate their own destinies – and to accept all the possible rewards and consequences of it – if they were sharing their lives with intimate partners.

The high incidence of divorce in modern times has convinced many people to lose faith in the institution of marriage. Some even hold a cynical view of the very concept. Perhaps family life isn't really appealing to these people to begin with. They may want to remain childless. In times of economic uncertainty such as this one, that decision can be prudent as well. Many people are experiencing difficulties in even keeping a roof over their own head. Under such circumstances, it's hard to imagine carrying the additional financial burden of dependents.

There are some who make the decision to remain single because they have been wounded in love in the past. Heartbreak can be a particularly grievous form of suffering. Sometimes it is accompanied by the wounds of physical and/or emotional abuse or the outrage and humiliation engendered by a previous partner's infidelity. These kinds of wounds take time to heal; and sometimes people prefer not to risk their hearts again. This decision can be made in bitterness or in the calm of logic. Only the person making a choice of this nature can truly understand the reasons behind it.