10 Revelations Not to Reveal on a First Date

10 Revelations Not to Reveal on a First Date

A relationship is like a novel: There is a plot that gradually manifests itself through carefully-timed revelations. Too much revealed too soon can make a novel pointless to read. Humans like a good mystery. Particularly when dating someone new. A date and a relationship should unfold like an old man slipping into a hot bath--nice and slow. Getting into a hot bath too fast might burn you in all the wrong places. The following revelations should not be revealed on a first date, unless, of course, you want to sabotage your chances of a relationship.

1. Avoid the graphic details of your bodily functions.
Most people have probably been on a date with someone who likes to either talk about or demonstrate his or her bodily functions. Although there may be a select few people out there who don't mind this kind of behavior over dinner, a discussion about your period or about how much you threw up at a party the night before will likely be a turn off to your date. Cutting the cheese is fine if you are going to be drinking some fine wine, but otherwise you should avoid it.

2. Avoid revealing bad manners.
It's becoming more common that people are casual about manners, even on a first date. Not that you should act phony, but showing your best manners on a date is showing your best self. Remember so say please and thank you, and keep those elbows off the dinner table. Bad manners can distract your date from seeing your best qualities. If you have good manners, your best qualities will have a chance to shine through.

3. Avoid talking about your finances.
Whether you're rich or poor, it's best not to talk about finances on a first date. If you're rich, there is no need to make that the focus of the date. After all, you don't want your date to start liking you for your money. If you are poor, you don't want to make that the focus because you don't want your date to dismiss you for that reason. If money is tight, you should still pay for the date if you were the one who asked for the date. Abiding by this rule will keep you in good stead.

4. Avoid revealing your controversial believes.
This advice may seem deceptive, but most controversial believes are not meant for laying the foundational groundwork of a new relationship. It can be difficult to understand someone's stance on a major political problem if there hasn't been ample opportunity to get to know that person's inner workings. Avoid bringing too much intensity to a first date, and give yourself and your date an opportunity to slowly learn about each other's lives.

5. Avoid talking about religion and politics.
Okay, if you meet someone at a political fundraiser, you may have grounds to talk politics on a first date; otherwise, it's better to avoid touchy subjects. Again, revealing too much about your believes before someone understands the basics of your inner workings can be confusing. Religious beliefs and political believes are often deeply personal, and if someone doesn't understand you personally, they might not be able to handle your take on religious and political matters. Generally speaking, Religious and political issues are usually the main cause of arguments in social settings, and that's something you want to avoid on a first date.

6. Avoid gossiping about other people.
It is a natural tendency to share the mishaps of others, but this can make you look bad to your date. Even if your date joins in the gossip, he or she may reflect back on the night and worry about what you are telling others about your date. You want your new friend to feel secure with you, which will allow your relationship to blossom with a feeling of trust. Gossiping about others makes you look petty, and it is a poor reflection of your character. Although dating isn't about putting on a phony front, you do want people to see your kindest side first.

7. Avoid criticizing your date's appearance.
You may have seen someone make the mistake of telling another person that he or she looks like a particular celebrity. This can be meant as flattery, but if the person that is told this hates the celebrity mentioned, it won't go over well. Likewise, making comments about your date's clothing or style can be offensive if it's not complimentary. Even if you make a comment in jest, you might hurt your date's feelings.

8. Avoid talking about medical problems you have.
Nowadays, most people are educated on things like depression and anxiety; however, it can be a red flag if someone tells you he or she is on antidepressants when on the first date. As long as you are functional, you have no reason to disclose this information right away. Give your date a chance to get to know you first. That way, your date will see that your psychological issues are not something to be alarmed about. The same is true with disclosing other medical problems right away. Unless your date is in immediate danger because of some disease you have, you don't need to barf up your medical history over coffee.

9. Avoid conversations about your past sins.
Until someone knows you, that person will be ill equipped to make fair judgments about your past. Again, assuming you aren't a serial killer, you will benefit from letting your past be revealed when the timing is right and the relationship demands it. Anything in your past that will directly affect your potential partner should be revealed, but be careful in how you decide to reveal this type of information. Too much information too fast in a budding relationship can be like a disinfectant sprayed on germs--dead on contact.

10. Avoid talking about past relationships.
Briefly mentioning something fun you did with an ex-girlfriend is probably okay, but going over the details of past relationships can leave you open to being scrutinized by your date in a way that you don't want. Your date may start to feel insecure from your revelations about past romances. It's best to talk about past exes when you have had a chance to make your date feel secure once you are in a relationship status down the road.

Honesty is always the best policy, but not in huge doses, all at one time. Relax and don't feel obligated to tell your date everything about you on the your first meeting. A little mystery is a good thing. Be positive about yourself, and show interest in what your date has to say. If the two of you hit it off, there will be plenty of time later to let them get to know you slowly.

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