A Brett Kavanaugh Regret :)
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Kavanaugh Disappointed to Discover Supreme Court Has No Happy Hour
By Andy Borowitz
October 9, 2018
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a setback for the newest Associate Justice on his first day at work, Brett Kavanaugh said on Tuesday that he was “very disappointed” to learn that the Supreme Court does not have a happy hour.
Kavanaugh told reporters that he made the horrifying discovery as the clock ticked down to 5 P.M. and “everyone was still in their offices working and stuff.”
“I mean, I couldn’t believe it,” Kavanaugh said. “I had been busting my tail for six hours, and I needed to blow off some steam.”
Ruth Bader Ginsburg was the member of the Court who delivered the bad news to Kavanaugh. “When she told me, I guess I started crying a bit, which I now regret,” he said. “She just kind of closed her office door and went back to work or whatever.”
Kavanaugh’s unpleasant discovery that the Supreme Court has “absolutely no drink specials” has left him wondering if his bruising confirmation battle “was even worth it.”
“This place blows,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Kavanaugh Disappointed to Discover Supreme Court Has No Happy Hour
By Andy Borowitz
October 9, 2018
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a setback for the newest Associate Justice on his first day at work, Brett Kavanaugh said on Tuesday that he was “very disappointed” to learn that the Supreme Court does not have a happy hour.
Kavanaugh told reporters that he made the horrifying discovery as the clock ticked down to 5 P.M. and “everyone was still in their offices working and stuff.”
“I mean, I couldn’t believe it,” Kavanaugh said. “I had been busting my tail for six hours, and I needed to blow off some steam.”
Ruth Bader Ginsburg was the member of the Court who delivered the bad news to Kavanaugh. “When she told me, I guess I started crying a bit, which I now regret,” he said. “She just kind of closed her office door and went back to work or whatever.”
Kavanaugh’s unpleasant discovery that the Supreme Court has “absolutely no drink specials” has left him wondering if his bruising confirmation battle “was even worth it.”
“This place blows,” he said.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
Comments (5)
The Don pardons Brett.
Brett (and the new makeup of SCOTUS) covers The Don.
It's claimed The Don enticed Justice Kennedy to retire, partly by allowing Kennedy to provide input on naming his successor; Kennedy suggested his former clerk - Judge Kavanaugh.
I was curious why The Don might've felt it desirable to entice Kennedy into retirement.
The New Republic might explain this...
Given events of the past nearly two years, The Don may have deemed it necessary to reinforce the power the Executive Branch (Presidency) in order to maintain the checks and balances between the branches of the Federal government.
Some claim he's bound by his oath to the Constitution to do so.
Others (as is brought out in the article) are concerned this may be a step toward an Imperial Presidency.
This may be brought up as a mid-term election issue - Repubs assert unnecessary (undesirable? dangerous?) tampering with our Constitution will be averted if they maintain control of House and Senate.
In short - a vote for Repubs is a vote to avoid Constitutional confrontation/crisis - a vote for the Constitution, if you will.
It'd be an interesting twist on the mid-terms.
It could get traction and be an effect campaign strategy.
We'll know more in four weeks and a day.
Sounds 'bout ri
If one accepts the premise of the New Republic article cited above
BTW - One of the responsibilities of the most recently appointed Justice is to get the coffee.
When coffee is delivered to their chamber, he'll be the Justice that will go to the door and get it.
Perhaps he can arrange for Irish Coffee
He might find a buddy in Bader-Ginsburg
When she was caught on camera dozing off during an Obama State Of The Union Speech, she explained that she'd had a drink prior to the speech...
Don't believe it
Some years ago my father-in-law was invested as a state Supreme Court Justice.
A large room full of politicians - the 'hot air' was incredible...
You can imagine.....
Anyway.
The post investiture party was held at the home of a U.S. Federal Judge.
The likker flowed freely, let me tell ya...
And it was the Good Stuff - top shelf Johnny Walker.