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Let Destiny Decide?

Just yesterday, my friend told me that I have been saying I will stop looking, and stop going out on dates but still do as I please. In my defense: it is human to find happiness when you're lonely. Honestly though, i know she's right. Just like all the motivational and self help books and videos on you tube, I should just stop and focus on myself. But aside from my love life, I am doing good. So, isn't it just right that I focus on something that's missing? But it seems to me that the more I chase after it, the more it slips away. So I guess the videos and the books were right. To just, "let it go." And start leaving things to chances and destiny?

Does destiny still work? dunno

Comments (26)

Sometimes you have to 'push' destiny in the right direction to make it work for you.
Johnny_Sparton
MC, love and destiny can be expensive on an international spectrum. Of course, speaking from solely a financial aspect. As recently blogged about, it can also be risky on an emotional level.

It would seem, the more the distance, the more time it will take for love to develop. dunno If so, I would say be patient and always keep an open mind. At least allow love and destiny to do its job. thumbs up

...for whatever that is worth.



wave
Miss Chelli..
We create our own life
And happiness is a state of mind.
Not something we need to look for outside ourselves.
wave
Astranea
I think that it does, it's just not always what we want. Sometimes destiny takes us on paths that we would rather avoid. Sometimes we reach our desirable destination in a rather unexpected way.

Like you, I also think that I'm slowly approaching the the moment when I would like to find someone. As soon as the spring comes and COVID ends - I plan to do something about it. IN REAL LIFE.
Astranea

Are you saying CS and the people here are not real

confused grin crying
Dongg
All the important relationships I've been in in my life were with women I met when I wasn't trying to meet anyone. They happened by chance when I wasn't expecting or trying to meet anyone.

Okay one exception of one I met in a club. But that's the only one.
Astranea
@Nice2meetyoutoo

I don't know anything. dunno I'm jaded, naive, silly and lack wisdom for dating sites. That's what I learned today about myself.

That disqualifies me to ever again write anything about the virtual world, dating sites or any other sites where people meet online. My experiences are also worthless, because they are the product of my naivety and silliness. If I were smarter, I would always have only wonderful experiences and never experience anything unpleasant, like the other members of this site whose ability to judge characters and see behind the illusion of the virtual world is far supreme than mine. sigh

So, you must ask someone else (wiser). dunno
Dongg
Self awareness is so damn attractive!
missChelli
Chatillion wave been pushing a lot of things to directions I thought were right. But so far, all I got is heartbreak and disappoinment. I only need to get 1 thing right, and aparently, i havent done it yet.
missChelli
Hello Johnny Sparton wave to be honest, I've had a LDR before it laster for 4 years. We met here on CS. But LDR like destiny is (as what you said) difficult and expensive. I am open to anything. And it seems to be taking lots of time and patience. grin
missChelli
@Dan_777 wave I get what you mean. Im a pretty reflectivw person imo. But Im tired of looking for things within, it made me a little (or more) selfish. Only considering what makes me happy. But being true to myself, I guess I'll keep it. wine

@Astranea I'd like to keep being hopeful. But the recent events are persistent in making me become jaded. I just refuse to be that. I am lovable in my naive and sometimes gullible way. But I'll bw cautious. blushing Hey, Goodluck on your search. Hopefully you get to post a happy story for us here next year.. wink teddybear
missChelli
Hi Dongg wave I'm a romantic who read too many romance novels. Everywhere is a possibility. So I don't think I will meet anyone in a chance that I didn't imagine. But I wish I can just forget about it for a while so that I can have the chance to not think about it. confused now it's kinda complicated. laugh
An amazing read for self searchers,

Siddhartha, An indian Tale, Hermann Hesse

missChelli
Hi Bentlee wave Sorry the page is unavailable in KSA. doh thanks though handshake
Dani, I'm sure you would like that read. Pdf file fast download. Enjoy.
Astranea
@missChelli

I doubt that I will be here for so long, but thank you. teddybear
I wish you the best, too. hug

@Bentlee

I read "Siddharta" when I went to high school. Herman Hesse is interesting when you are young, but as you get older - it loses its charm. At least it was like that for me.
Dani, I'm sure you would like that read. Pdf file fast download. Enjoy.
missChelli
Khalil Gibran too.
Thanks Ben..it's downloaded on my phone.
I'll read it later...maybe? uh oh
Soonyuleknow
I didn't mean to offend you Astra. I'm thinking it didn't come out the way I intended. Sorry.
Astranea
@Soonyuleknow

No, you are right.

I've always thought that if you want to meet decent people on the internet - you have to be nice and honest and decent yourself. And you mustn't be too suspicious. Because other nice, honest and decent people want the same and don't want to be under suspicion for no reason. Thanks to that kind of behaviour - I met some great people on the internet, made long-lasting friendships, people who came here to visit me, I visited them, I even found boyfriends online.

However, that kind of behaviour has its downside when you meet people who are not nice, honest and decent themselves. They think that you are naive and silly and that they will manipulate you easily. It doesn't really happen. But they do waste a lot of my time and sometimes put me in some terrible situations that make me angry and I have to block them. The post I wrote was about those type of men, because the woman was also talking about bad men. I was also under suspicion by some men and no matter what kind of proof I gave them - they at least suspected my motivations if not the data I provided. That kind of behaviour (constant suspicion and constant distrust) KILLS everything - possible friendships, relationships...

When I was here the last time I talked to some Americans for months and thought that we became friends just to find out that all that time they were thinking that I wanted to marry them and get the green card. It was tremendously disappointing and - well - I doubt that I will ever talk to Americans privately again on this site. You might think that I was naive - why any American would talk to me on a dating site unless he saw me as a potential mail-order bride and I was supposed to know that, too, but I met Americans on other sites who didn't think like that, so ... you never know. If you generalize - where will that take you?

When I was here the last time I was told by one member that I shouldn't talk about anything private online and that whatever experience I had I should keep it to myself, because people tend to use everything you say online against you. That is true. One should either keep things here lightly, talk about serious topics or lie and imagine (and that's tiring and pointless from my point of view).

So, I'm not angry. You are right. I am naive. wine
Misschelli, many things are better off when you don't try at all.. it's much easier to wait for unexpected time rather than expected time, expectation can lead to disappointment..
If you don't look for love so hard maybe it will fall into your lap unexpected, don't sweat it at all and i'm sure things will pan out pretty close to what your plan is..
Whelp Astenea Puma it's kind of difficult for a nice guy to meet up with you if you keep country hopping from Serbia to Greenland within a few hours. One may wonder where you will be tomorrow or next week. Maybe Ireland or Antarctica yet, if you fancy the orient maybe southeast Asia could be your next best shot . Americans may not be perfect and some american women here on this site are unique. Many would never know who they are because they never communicate or very selective in who they communicate with. One perception that many probably overlook is they know the locals in their communities and generally know the expectations of behavior in those we know locally. The glamorous side to say you met a foreigner is you can feel so cultured and international but, when we satisfied our curiosity of people living across the pond you find they have the same problems and feel just as awkward no matter where they live.
You are a beautiful intelligent woman but, maybe your focus is a bit misguided. When we stop working so hard or obsessing about finding a friend lover or whatever, it often finds us. They say do what you love and you wont ever work a day in your life.
All the wasted energy seeking but never finding reaching but never really grasping. Let go all you fear to lose and you will have what you need. As they say when the student is ready the teacher will appear.
All these gems of wisdom mean little without application.
Nevertheless we are free to choose to believe what we want and how we govern our lives attests to our beliefs and values. professor
Dongg
One day a Russian, a French man, and a German went out hunting. They were travelling deep in the woods when they came upon some tracks. The Russian said to the French man, "Look, some bear tracks!" "No no no," said the French man, "those are deer tracks." "What are you stupid or something?" replied the Russian, "those are clearly bear tracks." They argued for a few minutes and decided to ask the German. Before he could answer, they were all hit by a train.
o i get it , they should have backtracked!!!!! rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
I still owe Destiny 50 bucks. Thanks for reminding me. laugh
missChelli Contributions
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