To Trust, or not to Trust?
Trust is a funny thing. It can be earned or lost, respected or betrayed. It is the core of all successful relationships.How do we decide whom to trust or not to trust? Do we give them one chance and if they betray us, move on? Or are we more forgiving and accepting, and give second chances?
What makes us decide to repair one relationship, but scrap the next?
Comments (20)
This was not in reference to an actual "trust issue" more of just a hypothetical.
I was reflecting on some things and found I gave a second chance to one person but not another...and was wondering what the differenciating factor was. And, it was just relationships in general, not necessarily a dating situation.
Agreed, allthough, I wasnt really referring to any specific relationships, more in general.
For example, say you are working on a team with 5 people...and after the first day you decide you trust 3 of the 5. So, really is it all perception then? So, if our perception can be changed, then we can learn to trust? Is that any different than our perception of those that we are close with who betray us?
All hypotheticals here but thought it would be interesting to hear others thoughts! Really got me thinking
very true. but I wonder if we are often clouded by our percieved realities, rather than the truth.
Meaning, maybe we trust ourselves but we jump to conclusions based on our past experiences
Cool pic, btw.
Yes, I think alot of what we call "trust" boils down to our gut instincts about the person.
But there have been times I have been wrong when it comes to people...and usually it was because of a bias I held, or perhaps a rumor I heard about them, or maybe they just didnt match the expectations I set for them....or maybe they were having a bad day and rubbed me the wrong way.....
there are so many subjective things that could be involved it is hard to neatly say that the intuition will steer you correctly 100% of the time....
I think a safe bet is to make a judgement based upon a combination of actions and intution. I have met many people who have turned manipulation into a fine art....they could do everything right, but something about them just wouldnt sit well with me, and usually in the end it proves itself to be true. So, I think even actions can be deceptive, and sometimes malicious or done selfishly.
The logic behind giving them a chance is that since you never gave them your trust and they never knew about it. Why would they be liable for anything then? So I think they do deserve another chance. This time knowing they are being trusted. No?
Second logic is that, through experience, I have realized that it is the people from the second category who become trusted one day, and shift to the first category. The genuine first category are only your parents.
People from the middle category always stay there as they tend to remain dicey and ambiguous.
these are lol, in business context. in datin etc, well u usually get to know whether u can trust someone after the damage is done?
As maxmate said, if someone doesn't know what you expect, then if they do something that betrays your expectation, is that their fault or is it a lack of communication about expectations.
What if someone steals from you? Isn't it actually your expectation that no one should steal from you that is the issue? What if you held no attachment to your things? If someone took something but your philosophy was, "well, I guess they needed it worse than I do", would trust be an issue?
In other words, is trust real? Is it another illusion? Another trap? If you feel you must be able to trust your beloved, is unconditional love possible?
I'm just throwing questions out there. Just curiosities. I have no preconceived idea of what is correct or not.
What do you mean about the overconfident ones in business world?
And yes, I agree in a dating sense that you will just know if the damage is too much to trust again
i have a trust issue, i tried 2change but old habbit die hard, so instead i exhausted my self by trying to be a trusting woman, i choose to always trust my self more. It would not make me any less person then others, but a more independent person for i never put my matters on others hands! Take care girl!
Well, I guess ultimately a relationship will end in some sort of physcial encounter, so I dont think we can totally rule that out of the equation. But, I know what you mean. If they just wanting only one thing, they can keep on walking. I was asking more about general terms of trust, not necessarily a relationship situation.