Man With Coffee

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room.

“What are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee. “Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?” he asks solemnly.

“Yes, I do,” she replies. The husband paused.


The words were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car ?”

“Yes, I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued.

“Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for twenty years?”

“I remember that, too” she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said “I would have been out of jail today and a free man!“


HEAVENLY MARITAL HELP

Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married.

"Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back."

Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you."

The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?"

To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here -- how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"