What could you do?

You bought a house to live with your family member, but for many reasons, you don't happy to live in your house. You can't ask your family member moving out because the house is located at a location where is very convenience for your family member work.

You can't afford to buy the other house for moving out...

What should you do?

1. Staying in your house and bear the unhappy day after day and think it's your fate.
2. Moving out even have to rent a small room/apartment where you can afford.
3. Buying a small apartment even has to loan money from the bank for few years.
4. Asking someone who interested to share the cost to buy an apartment and start to try with that place with clear regulations for convenience for both and hope to have better life there.

Which option do you think will be good to make a choice?

Thanks,
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Comments (18)

Hi Mimi!

Good to see you again OUR dear sweet friend!

I would choose #1 option. But with a different twist! Make sure you stay happy (that's very important), save save save until you get an ample down payment THEN buy your own place. If you stay happy then time will pass quickly.

If you buy a 2 bedroom home then you can slide down to #4, but with this change, DON"T share the ownership and simply rent the 2nd bedroom out to a TRUSTED person! That will keep your payment way down!
I'm not happy with my house, it belongs to the bank...Indeed!
Option #5: Make life very unpleasant for that member. Like burning his/her bed..devil
I'd always avoid renting if possible, it's money down the drain. Maybe it would be possible to split the current house into two flats dunno
yeah, renting is a pain in the little onelaugh

I've seen what people can do to other people housesvery mad
Why on earth is the convenience of another family member more important than my being able to sell MY house? Are they paying a rent equal to the mortgage? If not, why not? Them paying rent equal to what I pay the bank is the only way I would be letting them stay in MY house. Otherwise, I would tell them to get out and do whatever is legally necessary to get the person out. Noting also, in the US, if you allow someone to live rent free in YOUR house, after 7 years, they may be able to claim it as theirs (it is called Squatter's Rights) and then if that happens you won't have to worry about it because it is THEIR house and you have NO ownership rights.

If they were paying me rent and I didn't want to be there, then I would rent a place. No need to buy because they pay rent and I can always move back in.
It depends upon the specifics. Did YOU pay for the house? And, WHO is the family member? Is it a mother, father, sibling, or just a boyfriend?

If YOU paid for the house and it is a gentleman friend living with you, one should put the home up for sale and inform him that he should start to look for another place to live. When the home is sold you can choose any of your options or buy another home.

If it is a literal family member, i.e., parent or sibling, knowing where you are in life, it may be best for you to choose option 3.
Lending rates, (at least in U.S.), are still quite low so if employed should be able to manage that, and you'd have some privacy.

Lastly, no one should ever combine bank accounts or co own major items with someone who is just gentleman or lady friend. Your rights are not protected adequately, (at least in U.S.), as they are if you are married.
id rent even if it was a small room as long as I was then at peace & happy
I have no idea why anyone over 18 thinks merging bank accounts is a good idea. You have your account, they have theirs. If you are a spouse, when they die their account becomes yours (if you have a marriage license). Until then why would you even care how much they do or don't have? If they wish to give you some, they will, if not, that's okay, you have your own.
Throw that particular family member out unless they are co-ownership in the house.


Or sell your half of the house to them and buy a small place if needed.

I wouldn't be living with someone that I wasn't happy with.
So you bought a home just because it was convenient for your family members work.

What about your own convenience?
Previous blogs have shown someone likes being a doormat for relatives. Frankly with some of the attitudes some of them had displayed I would have little use for the clan and throw out whichever relative was sponging in my house and not talk to any of them for decades to come.
I agree Ken cause I've had to do away with some of my family members from my life which was a tough decision but sometimes one has got to do what one has to do regardless.
ask people to move out
We had that situation in our family twice. For us, the solution was to turn the house into two separate floors, each with its own meter, entrance, etc. so that the people who were always at each other could avoid the other party. Me, personally, I'd tell the rest of the family to get their act together and warn them that if they don't, I'd sell the house... or I might buy an apartment and have them move out and pay rent.
Well of course that is it. Accident of birth does not obligate you to allow sponging. You may if you wish, but it isn't required.
mimi
I understand that you may feel some obligation to your family members...but your happiness counts as well...paying rent to you may allow you to save up for a second place and establish ownership...or ground rules for your family?...no need to co-exist with each other if it is uncomfortable...
Thanks everyone!
I will think a bit more and will make a decision.
Wish a Happy New Year to everyone!
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by MimiNGUYEN79
created Dec 2014
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