Here is a list of Dating & Relationships Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
THE SWIPE IS NOT THE PROBLEM
October 11, 2016
This post is also on my blog:
JESUSCHRISTISNOTGOD.COM
I'm forced to weigh in here as a very very former "Tinder" user.
Also, a company called Hinge made an interesting and cute video with one of my favorite artists songs, Heart - "What About Love" called "Dating Apocalypse".
There is no arguing that the American Dating landscape is littered with the dying, dead, and decaying bodies of those who have been trapped into the new lifestyle idea that "anything goes anytime with anyone" romantically.
The "Swipe" per se is only the symptom of the problem.
The real problem is Kid In The Candy Store Syndrome or "KISS". Yes. That is my ORIGINAL thought, so please don't plagiarize.
KISS is a manifestation of the decrepit, decadent, arrogant, lust driven, spoiled rotten American lifestyle.
The Devil's Lie that "you can have everything you want all the time" is another form of the Greatest Lie Ever Told... "You shall be like God"....If you'll remember that was the original lie the Devil told Eve way back when.
And oh yeah, we all know that THE DEVIL IS THE FATHER OF THE LIE.
The belief that sex and relationships are interchangeable, flexible, and fun for fun's sake, is a continuous downhill spiral which ends in heartbreak and disappointment, and yes, likely emotional and sexually addictive characteristics.
If ever there was a single point of blame for the increasingly degraded moral fiber of America it would be the Machiavellian idea that there is no price to pay for want you want, no doubt, what you think you are ENTITLED to in another person.
The only true Biblical Solution?
The Big C... for those with the moral integrity to even attempt it.
Yes.
That DOES so stand for Celibacy.
Gee. I really do hate to ruin the party but God's Word is explicit. As in, BLACK AND WHITE, on this point;
NO SEX FOR CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE NOT MARRIED.
There are soooo many great verses on the subject of sex from God's point of view. Here's one:
Whoso commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so destroys his own soul.
Proverbs 6:32
And from the New Testament Church Epistles written to Christian believers:
Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord (Jesus Christ). And the Lord (Jesus Christ) for the body.
I Corinthians 6:13b
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does commit is without the body. But he that committeth fornication sins against his own body.
I Corinthians 6:18
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
I Corinthians 7:2
Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed. And fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
I Corinthians 10:8
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification. That you should abstain from fornication.
I Thessalonians 4:3
This post is also on my blog:
JESUSCHRISTISNOTGOD.COM
I'm forced to weigh in here as a very very former "Tinder" user.
Also, a company called Hinge made an interesting and cute video with one of my favorite artists songs, Heart - "What About Love" called "Dating Apocalypse".
There is no arguing that the American Dating landscape is littered with the dying, dead, and decaying bodies of those who have been trapped into the new lifestyle idea that "anything goes anytime with anyone" romantically.
The "Swipe" per se is only the symptom of the problem.
The real problem is Kid In The Candy Store Syndrome or "KISS". Yes. That is my ORIGINAL thought, so please don't plagiarize.
KISS is a manifestation of the decrepit, decadent, arrogant, lust driven, spoiled rotten American lifestyle.
The Devil's Lie that "you can have everything you want all the time" is another form of the Greatest Lie Ever Told... "You shall be like God"....If you'll remember that was the original lie the Devil told Eve way back when.
And oh yeah, we all know that THE DEVIL IS THE FATHER OF THE LIE.
The belief that sex and relationships are interchangeable, flexible, and fun for fun's sake, is a continuous downhill spiral which ends in heartbreak and disappointment, and yes, likely emotional and sexually addictive characteristics.
If ever there was a single point of blame for the increasingly degraded moral fiber of America it would be the Machiavellian idea that there is no price to pay for want you want, no doubt, what you think you are ENTITLED to in another person.
The only true Biblical Solution?
The Big C... for those with the moral integrity to even attempt it.
Yes.
That DOES so stand for Celibacy.
Gee. I really do hate to ruin the party but God's Word is explicit. As in, BLACK AND WHITE, on this point;
NO SEX FOR CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE NOT MARRIED.
There are soooo many great verses on the subject of sex from God's point of view. Here's one:
Whoso commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so destroys his own soul.
Proverbs 6:32
And from the New Testament Church Epistles written to Christian believers:
Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord (Jesus Christ). And the Lord (Jesus Christ) for the body.
I Corinthians 6:13b
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does commit is without the body. But he that committeth fornication sins against his own body.
I Corinthians 6:18
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
I Corinthians 7:2
Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed. And fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
I Corinthians 10:8
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification. That you should abstain from fornication.
I Thessalonians 4:3
the door is open 24 hours a day all year round
the door is open 24 hours a day all year round and it is for free you will find everything you are looking for where you can find that still. 
Contrasting
Contrasting are colors
So are we with fractures of light
Love - hate are just 2 sides
Of knife that cuts my mind sharply
What Do you Look at First when Considering a Match?
Here is a convertaion I had recently on a similar question.
One of the respondents said:
"~is a complex process you're not really aware of.
Body ratios, scent, body language/indirect communication.
~After your brain does a bunch of work it pokes you with emotions and feelings, and then your conscious decision making self fixates on something your experience has associated most closely with those emotions and feelings filtered through the bias of your mood and life situation.
~Some people choose legs and feet, shoes, to look down, for things like to submit and look for someone to be dominant.
~Some people choose butt, wallet, waist, and hips, for things like seeing someone as breeding stock on some level.
~Some people choose belly, chest, or breasts, for things like succor or to objectify and dominate.
~Some people choose neck, face, or eyes, due to insecurity and vanity, for things like needing immediate mutual feedback for their feelings, to gain external validation that what they're feeling or thinking is okay.
~Focusing on any single body part isn't really a healthy thing."
My comment was:
All very good points to ponder. Symmetry is another but I am not sure why? I saw a study online where people's faces were mirrored for symmetry. The study depicted ratings of the natural face compared to the mirrored face and revealed that most of the ratings favored a natural non-symmetry face. Imperfections, it seems, have a distinct appeal.
For this discussion, I am figuring *** refers to first line of attraction when viewing potential matches here. Since most profile pictures are of people's faces and full body or action pictures are few and far between, the question deals with mostly facial features.
At a point in my career I worked as a service advisor at a car dealership. My job was to deal with customers in the service department having or needing their cars repaired. I studied CSA (Customer Service Advisor) techniques published nationally. One of the things they suggested was to install a mirror behind the service desk. It seems most people do not like to see themselves angry. We did that and the number of angry customers diminished significantly.
If you see a picture that you perceive as an angry expression it is more likely to turn you 'off'.
Over-all expressions that pictures broadcast to you are perceived at first sight.
I believe that most people are inherently 'good'. They assess a profile pic to determine that person's affinity.
Personally, if I see someone that is sad I try to cheer them up.
If I see someone angry I tend to shy away. Those emotional vibes range up and down the scale and have differing magnitude depending on how I feel myself, while looking at them. To me, those impressions determine my first reaction to the person I am looking at. The ones that inspire me, cause me to look closer.
In person, the first impressions are very different. My eyes go directly to her gaze. Not her eyes, her whole expression while looking at me. She could have mesmerizing eyes but if her body language and facial expression are hostile I will not approach her.
Stand-off body language does not necessarily put me off if her expression is warm and welcoming.
Physically,
I prefer a proportional body type. If her head is normal but she is excessively skinny; her head normal but her body is excessively large or anything just not normal to the human physique it is a flag. I don't mind skinny if the body looks like is supposed to be skinny. I don't mind large if the body looks like it is supposed to be large. At my age I fully understand that time takes its toll on our bodies.
One of the respondents said:
"~is a complex process you're not really aware of.
Body ratios, scent, body language/indirect communication.
~After your brain does a bunch of work it pokes you with emotions and feelings, and then your conscious decision making self fixates on something your experience has associated most closely with those emotions and feelings filtered through the bias of your mood and life situation.
~Some people choose legs and feet, shoes, to look down, for things like to submit and look for someone to be dominant.
~Some people choose butt, wallet, waist, and hips, for things like seeing someone as breeding stock on some level.
~Some people choose belly, chest, or breasts, for things like succor or to objectify and dominate.
~Some people choose neck, face, or eyes, due to insecurity and vanity, for things like needing immediate mutual feedback for their feelings, to gain external validation that what they're feeling or thinking is okay.
~Focusing on any single body part isn't really a healthy thing."
My comment was:
All very good points to ponder. Symmetry is another but I am not sure why? I saw a study online where people's faces were mirrored for symmetry. The study depicted ratings of the natural face compared to the mirrored face and revealed that most of the ratings favored a natural non-symmetry face. Imperfections, it seems, have a distinct appeal.
For this discussion, I am figuring *** refers to first line of attraction when viewing potential matches here. Since most profile pictures are of people's faces and full body or action pictures are few and far between, the question deals with mostly facial features.
At a point in my career I worked as a service advisor at a car dealership. My job was to deal with customers in the service department having or needing their cars repaired. I studied CSA (Customer Service Advisor) techniques published nationally. One of the things they suggested was to install a mirror behind the service desk. It seems most people do not like to see themselves angry. We did that and the number of angry customers diminished significantly.
If you see a picture that you perceive as an angry expression it is more likely to turn you 'off'.
Over-all expressions that pictures broadcast to you are perceived at first sight.
I believe that most people are inherently 'good'. They assess a profile pic to determine that person's affinity.
Personally, if I see someone that is sad I try to cheer them up.
If I see someone angry I tend to shy away. Those emotional vibes range up and down the scale and have differing magnitude depending on how I feel myself, while looking at them. To me, those impressions determine my first reaction to the person I am looking at. The ones that inspire me, cause me to look closer.
In person, the first impressions are very different. My eyes go directly to her gaze. Not her eyes, her whole expression while looking at me. She could have mesmerizing eyes but if her body language and facial expression are hostile I will not approach her.
Stand-off body language does not necessarily put me off if her expression is warm and welcoming.
Physically,
I prefer a proportional body type. If her head is normal but she is excessively skinny; her head normal but her body is excessively large or anything just not normal to the human physique it is a flag. I don't mind skinny if the body looks like is supposed to be skinny. I don't mind large if the body looks like it is supposed to be large. At my age I fully understand that time takes its toll on our bodies.
Thoughts about Marriage
Marriage, in most cases, is a cultural and social situation two or more people adopt to support a family structure or gain social acceptance.
There are cultures that predetermine whom you will marry from a very young age and cultures that make no such plans.
There are cultures that require you to be monogamous and others that rely on polygamy. There are a wide range of sub-cultural deviations as well.
As animals (yes we are animals, Omnivores to be more accurate) our defining goal in life is to reproduce to create a genetic offspring.
Before social structures, we reproduced with any fertile human being of the opposite gender. Our need to propagate our genetic line mandated that we assure our offspring's safety and well-being until they reached reproductive maturity. As society gained strength the sure fire way to do this was to marry or exclusively remain with your reproductive mate. Society recognized the effectiveness of this trend and it gained popularity.
Many marriages are not done because of love.
Love is one reason for marriage when your reproductive drive has been fulfilled. It is a way to have intimacy with the partner of your choice. As our longevity extends past our reproductive prime we marry for reasons other than rearing our offspring.
At some point in the future; when our lifespans are greatly extended; reproductive abilities no longer require mating and offspring are nurtured by society there may be a trend of no marriage or marriage by time contract. If we live to 300 years, Marriage will have little motivation other than love.
Our lifespans worldwide are currently 83.7 years at max for both sexes.
This is well past our s*xual prime and child-bearing ability.
Thus, Marriage is starting to lose its significance already.
Most willing marriages are a contract between two or more people. Most are monogamous and based on religious belief systems and cultural stipulations or society standards. This is why "official" marriages are performed by a religious or state entity. The contract is written and sanctioned as a proof of commitment and dedication by all parties involved. To end such a marriage requires that "official" contract to be voided.
The commitment and dedication to the other(s) is the personal aspect of marriage. It is based on mutual agreement to honestly hold your word and intent.
Over time, changes in our priorities can change how we feel about the one we dedicated/pledged ourselves to. We are faced with either embracing those changes or removing those changes from our lives.
The marriage that thrives is composed of personalities that accept those changes and tolerates them. It happens all the time.
The marriage that continues past that acceptance level on anyone's part is usually filled with misery and despair. Those marriages do not thrive and are often ended in some hostile way.
Before entering into a marriage, all parties involved must know their own intention and understand the level of their commitment to the other(s) and believe their partner(s) pledge to that same commitment.
The contract of marriage, as currently socially accepted where I live, is for the duration of life. It is assumed that it is based on love.
When it is not based on love the contract needs an agreed upon expiration.
There are cultures that predetermine whom you will marry from a very young age and cultures that make no such plans.
There are cultures that require you to be monogamous and others that rely on polygamy. There are a wide range of sub-cultural deviations as well.
As animals (yes we are animals, Omnivores to be more accurate) our defining goal in life is to reproduce to create a genetic offspring.
Before social structures, we reproduced with any fertile human being of the opposite gender. Our need to propagate our genetic line mandated that we assure our offspring's safety and well-being until they reached reproductive maturity. As society gained strength the sure fire way to do this was to marry or exclusively remain with your reproductive mate. Society recognized the effectiveness of this trend and it gained popularity.
Many marriages are not done because of love.
Love is one reason for marriage when your reproductive drive has been fulfilled. It is a way to have intimacy with the partner of your choice. As our longevity extends past our reproductive prime we marry for reasons other than rearing our offspring.
At some point in the future; when our lifespans are greatly extended; reproductive abilities no longer require mating and offspring are nurtured by society there may be a trend of no marriage or marriage by time contract. If we live to 300 years, Marriage will have little motivation other than love.
Our lifespans worldwide are currently 83.7 years at max for both sexes.
This is well past our s*xual prime and child-bearing ability.
Thus, Marriage is starting to lose its significance already.
Most willing marriages are a contract between two or more people. Most are monogamous and based on religious belief systems and cultural stipulations or society standards. This is why "official" marriages are performed by a religious or state entity. The contract is written and sanctioned as a proof of commitment and dedication by all parties involved. To end such a marriage requires that "official" contract to be voided.
The commitment and dedication to the other(s) is the personal aspect of marriage. It is based on mutual agreement to honestly hold your word and intent.
Over time, changes in our priorities can change how we feel about the one we dedicated/pledged ourselves to. We are faced with either embracing those changes or removing those changes from our lives.
The marriage that thrives is composed of personalities that accept those changes and tolerates them. It happens all the time.
The marriage that continues past that acceptance level on anyone's part is usually filled with misery and despair. Those marriages do not thrive and are often ended in some hostile way.
Before entering into a marriage, all parties involved must know their own intention and understand the level of their commitment to the other(s) and believe their partner(s) pledge to that same commitment.
The contract of marriage, as currently socially accepted where I live, is for the duration of life. It is assumed that it is based on love.
When it is not based on love the contract needs an agreed upon expiration.
S E X on the First Date
There are as many answers for this as there are factors determining the result.
I am a man. A man that has had no s*xual or intimate contact in years.
I was tested 8 months after my last s*xual encounter and I know I have no STIs. I want to remain in that condition. I already raised a family and I am not looking to raise another.
I know that sex feels great and want it again.
I am looking for a relationship with the right woman that includes sex but is not founded on sex. There are many things that are important to me, sex being one, but a major one.
On the first date, I know it can get really hot, burning hot. Unlike those men in the movies, I am not one to try to trick a woman into having sex with me. I could, but I don't. It is always up to the woman to determine how far it goes. If I don't want it - I will stop it, just as I would expect her to do.
At my age, sex is two consenting adults enjoying what feels good. It is not punishment or revenge. It is not a triumph or a tally mark. When I am with a woman that is wanting sex with me and I feel the same it is dishonest to her, and myself, if we do not act on our desires.
By the time sex is in the question on the first date there had to have been some kind of compatibility first. If that date leads to sex which leads to a second date the sex was also a compatibility factor in that relationship.
People change after sex. I have seen it. I am looking for compatibility after the sex. Once those urges are sated, do you still want to be with each other. Hold them, hear them talk and be intimate. Sex on the first date can tell much about the other person.
On the other hand, not having sex on the first date is good too. If you are not sure your date is being honest with you it could lead to more trouble than it is worth. If there is no connection between the two of you and the intimacy is being pushed, the sex probably means nothing to them.
Then there is the delusion that religion or morality keeps you from enjoying yourself. Someone that 'blames' "the way they were brought up" as a reason for not being an adult and making their own decisions will probably have other factors in their lives that they 'blame' instead of making their own decisions and knowing their own desires.
No sex on the first date says "I don't trust you with my desires" when that date gets hot. If it gets hot and they say "Not yet" and set up a second date it might be because they are not sure of something. If there is going to be no sex on the first date, do not let the encounter get intimate or hot.
The whole reason people date is to determine if the other is compatible with their desires. You are looking for someone to be intimate with, sex is but one form of intimacy. Before you agree to date someone your first instinct is to find someone that you would love to have sex with. If they repulse you when you look at them you will not go on a date with them. Unless you are looking for something else. Money, mannerisms or social status...etc. There is nothing wrong with dating for those reasons as long as you are honest about it and both of you agree on it. After all, we are adults.
If I date a woman and I find her attractive and she also finds me attractive and we want sex on the first date, why should either of us not be honest?
Could I have meaningless sex on the first date?
Sure, it feels good. If she can convince me that she is clean, free of blood-borne pathogens, not insane and wants me too.
I am a man. A man that has had no s*xual or intimate contact in years.
I was tested 8 months after my last s*xual encounter and I know I have no STIs. I want to remain in that condition. I already raised a family and I am not looking to raise another.
I know that sex feels great and want it again.
I am looking for a relationship with the right woman that includes sex but is not founded on sex. There are many things that are important to me, sex being one, but a major one.
On the first date, I know it can get really hot, burning hot. Unlike those men in the movies, I am not one to try to trick a woman into having sex with me. I could, but I don't. It is always up to the woman to determine how far it goes. If I don't want it - I will stop it, just as I would expect her to do.
At my age, sex is two consenting adults enjoying what feels good. It is not punishment or revenge. It is not a triumph or a tally mark. When I am with a woman that is wanting sex with me and I feel the same it is dishonest to her, and myself, if we do not act on our desires.
By the time sex is in the question on the first date there had to have been some kind of compatibility first. If that date leads to sex which leads to a second date the sex was also a compatibility factor in that relationship.
People change after sex. I have seen it. I am looking for compatibility after the sex. Once those urges are sated, do you still want to be with each other. Hold them, hear them talk and be intimate. Sex on the first date can tell much about the other person.
On the other hand, not having sex on the first date is good too. If you are not sure your date is being honest with you it could lead to more trouble than it is worth. If there is no connection between the two of you and the intimacy is being pushed, the sex probably means nothing to them.
Then there is the delusion that religion or morality keeps you from enjoying yourself. Someone that 'blames' "the way they were brought up" as a reason for not being an adult and making their own decisions will probably have other factors in their lives that they 'blame' instead of making their own decisions and knowing their own desires.
No sex on the first date says "I don't trust you with my desires" when that date gets hot. If it gets hot and they say "Not yet" and set up a second date it might be because they are not sure of something. If there is going to be no sex on the first date, do not let the encounter get intimate or hot.
The whole reason people date is to determine if the other is compatible with their desires. You are looking for someone to be intimate with, sex is but one form of intimacy. Before you agree to date someone your first instinct is to find someone that you would love to have sex with. If they repulse you when you look at them you will not go on a date with them. Unless you are looking for something else. Money, mannerisms or social status...etc. There is nothing wrong with dating for those reasons as long as you are honest about it and both of you agree on it. After all, we are adults.
If I date a woman and I find her attractive and she also finds me attractive and we want sex on the first date, why should either of us not be honest?
Could I have meaningless sex on the first date?
Sure, it feels good. If she can convince me that she is clean, free of blood-borne pathogens, not insane and wants me too.
The Four Personality Types and How to Deal with Them
The Four Personality Types and How to Deal with Them
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