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Alright, now I'm hooked. I have not had a blog since I was an angsty college student. This is fun! Blabbing on about nonsense no one would care about to total strangers is where its at. Tonight... I celebrate/lament (depending on the mood) at a bar in town. Hopefully Ill have someone to talk to when I get there (getting drunk alone is not only boring but also a bad sign...). Whether I'm drinking to forget my troubles or to let my "wild" side out... who cares? Gotta live a little.

So, the other day, I went to the "old" mall with my daughter. The town where I live has a much newer, outdoor mall that was built about 4 years ago. This story takes place in the old, run down mall. It’s not as popular but still has a certain charm. I don’t shop there much anymore but decided to visit about a week ago.

My daughter and I walked around and shopped for about an hour and she wanted to go to this little place that caters to the tween generation. I decided to sit on the bench just outside the shop and wait for her. I took the opportunity to people watch. This is a really great hobby by the way. If you’ve never tried it, you should do yourself the favor – even if it’s just once. You would be surprised at the almost endless humor that can be found in the simple things. Very interesting to say the least...

So, there I am, sitting in the mall, watching everyone walk by. The beauty of it is, most folks are oblivious and the entertainment is free. You see people in their natural state of mind doing normal things in a comfortable setting. I was probably sitting there for no more than 30 minutes but I gathered an abundance of information. However, this people watching episode wasn't as funny for me...

I watched an entire dramatic saga of a boyfriend/girlfriend breakup within a group of (what looked like) 13 year olds. It was intense and premeditated. The boyfriend was laughing and other girls were hanging all over him as the girlfriend stormed off to cry in the restroom.

There was a mother of 4 very small babies who looked like she could use a vacation. Her appearance was tattered and tired looking. I could see her frustration and stress in her eyes. At the same time, she had incredibly calm words and hands with her little ones as she hurried past me. I noticed the smallest baby lost a shoe and the oldest, no more than 4, had sticky red stuff all over his hands, face and shirt. I wondered if these were the little things the mother was ignoring so she could focus on bigger issues...or maybe she didn’t notice at all.

A young couple with a little boy leisurely walked over in my direction. There was a sense of distance between them. I overheard the man tell the woman to “shut the hell up, you’re not getting the damn phone back” as he shot a cold glare over at her. The little boy seemed to be in his own world as he trailed behind. I wondered if the boy already mastered the art of losing himself in an imaginary place to block out the chaos at home.
I realized my eyes were following the little boy. My heart went out to him. About the time I started to dwell on feeling sorry for him....it happened.

cont'

You ladies and/or girls think that this is a beauty contest, when in actuality this is a friendship site and out to meet friends. My God, Its just a matter of common sense. Why is it that the so called Top Rated Girls are never online. I am just curious. Mother of Jesus what has gone with the population of wanting to be friends. IT'S GONE..........

if i cause this family
so much misery,
so much pain,
so much tears.

why do you put up with me
why tell me you love me and
then tell me you hate me
why tell me anything

i see it in your eyes
all the time
every second of everyday
that hate you have against me

i know that your lives
would be better with out me.
even better if you didnt have me
so just give me one thing
thats all i ask


just tell me
and i will go
i promise.
i wont look back
i wont regret it.
i wont cry adout it
i wont hold on to it
like a lost dream.

i just really want to know
the truth
why did you put me in this world
if you didnt want to
take the consequences
that came along with it?

IM VERY VERY ANGRY,A CERTAIN MEMBER WHO KEEPS VIEWING ME IS BACK AGAIN AND I HAD HIM BLOCKED MONTHS AGO,DO WE HAVE ANY PRIVACY IN HERE NOW??NOT HAPPY AT ALL...U KNOW WHO U ARE..

Last December I met my match, or so I thought anyway. We stayed friends for a couple of months before taking it to the next level, and by that, I mean he came right out and professed his love for me. Of course, I felt the same. We were very in love, and became engaged within time as well. The only thing that caused any sort of problems for us was the distance, and the distance was hardly anything, but I hardly got the opportunity to go see him with school keeping me busy, and not to mention, he never had the time for me. We went camping once and it was the most unconventionally romantic two days you could imagine. When it came time to say goodbye, I could hardly tear myself away. Part of me knew that was the last time I would see him, and it was. We broke up a month later because he never had the time to see me, and I became impatient. I told him it wouldn't be forever, but apparently it wasn't my choice. Since the breakup, we've only talked a handful of times, every time except maybe once had resulted in a fight. The one time being last night. We had a normal conversation like we always had, we were being stupid with each other and talking about nothing in particular, and it was great until it got serious. I asked him if he's been talking to any ladies, and he said "um yeah, sort of". I shouldn't have asked what that meant, but I did. He told me he's engaged to one of his exes. When we dated he never had anything positive to say about any of his exes, so I was very shocked. It felt like he had just hit me in the head with a baseball bat. Every time I've talked to him since the breakup, I have made it very clear that I still love him. The last time we really talked, we got into a huge fight because of it. I told him I still love him, he told me he "can't be what I need him to be". When he told me he was engaged, my heart shattered. I knew I'd never love anyone as much as I love him. Not even past tense, I still love him, I will always love him. I ended up crying myself to sleep, tossing and turning for three hours, waking up and crying more. I've never felt like this, I've never let someone break me down like this. I'm so hurt.

How do you even recover from something like this...?

I have not spent alot of time with family for the past seven years, I vist twice or three times for the year when i get the chance.
Now i am getting six months vacation, the question is:
Being single what would i do with six months vacation????????...( I have plans to do alot of reading, travel a couple places that i always wanted to visit and to spend time with my mom) But what would you do, i need help having a great time off.

I've come to realize how impatient I can be. So many times I'll get frustrated when things seem to travel at a slightly slower pace. It affects everything I've come to know. Whether it be a TV show, a relationship, or even learning something new. Almost everything I do is accelerated. I walk faster then most people, talk faster then most people, shower faster, eat faster, etc. I have no interest in slowing down either which I know is a major problem, or at least can lead to major problems.

I see it as life is to short so you need to get as much done as quick as possible. However moving so fast through everything I often forget what I'm doing or when it doesn't work in my RIDICULOUS time frame then I'm just as quick to give up on it or get bored with it.

It would be nice to stop and relax and yet still get everything accomplished that needs to be.

im new to this on line dating im looking for a hot lady to take out and treat like a princess know anyone?

I'm killing time by writing this blog. Pure and simple. I'm stressed as heck because I have to get up early tomorrow to see my recruiter, sign some paperwork, and make sure my hard work has paid off (for when I get weighed on the scale... yikes). After that? Helping smooth the transition of my uncle taking over my business... the business of painting cars (in the sun, for 8 hours, and I have sunburn from earlier today as it is). Going to be a hectic day, and that's just day 1 of tying up loose ends before I leave. Crazy, crazy stuff. Been trying to lose those last stubborn 5 pounds to make weight for weeks now, and it does not help that my scale is broken!! But yeah... as I said... just speaking my mind. Sortof a self-therapy session by venting the craziness that is my life right now.