Advice concerning a dating prospect (68)
SingleFeatherDes Moines, Washington USA2 Threads 33 PostsA man I'm working with is showing interest in me. He wants to take a walk in the park with me and he also wants to cook me dinner. I usually have my smart phone off and when he tries to call me, he doesn't leave a message, then he complains that I don't answer my phone. He even complained to the agency that I'm not answering my phone and that I cancel appointments with him too late when he's already driving, so he needs more advance notice (true). Yet he cancels appointments with me 80% more often than I do! He has become unreliable at this point. And we have yet to even have a date. Advice?
------ This thread is Archived ------
Turn your smartphone on. 
------ This thread is Archived ------
I've decided to do that now, since he seems to be allergic to leaving a message. But still smarting from his complaint about me to the agency. 
But still smarting from his complaint about me to the agency. ------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: I've decided to do that now, since he seems to be allergic to leaving a message. But still smarting from his complaint about me to the agency.
I'm finding this confusing 
This man works with you and is complaining about not being able to contact you..
Is this a professional or personal issue?
------ This thread is Archived ------
Both professional and personal. He is working in my home with my disabled son. He works through an agency.
But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: Both professional and personal. He is working in my home with my disabled son. He works through an agency.
But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
So he's actually a disability support worker.But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
I'd suggest you draw a line in the sand and get some boundaries in place.
This man is paid to care for your son; if you wish to pursue a relationship with him it has nothing to do with the agency.
However I suspect this would be fraught with difficulties and suggest you consider whether this man is useful in terms of supporting your son.
If so, make it clear that this is where it begins and ends.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Yeah, it is difficult to mix a professional relationship with a personal one. Might be best for me to keep him at a friendship level for now. He is also underperforming by not being very reliable. Which causes me to not really see him in a more positive light.
------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: Yeah, it is difficult to mix a professional relationship with a personal one. Might be best for me to keep him at a friendship level for now. He is also underperforming by not being very reliable. Which causes me to not really see him in a more positive light.
If he has already complained about you and is not living up to his part of the deal, you won't be taken seriously when you complain, unfortunately. You may be seen as someone who is trying to "get back" at the man. If a union is also involved, you will have an even harder time dealing with any issues concerning the man.If you can, get rid of him now - asap - and save yourself a lot of trouble down the road.
------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: A man I'm working with is showing interest in me. He wants to take a walk in the park with me and he also wants to cook me dinner. I usually have my smart phone off and when he tries to call me, he doesn't leave a message, then he complains that I don't answer my phone. He even complained to the agency that I'm not answering my phone and that I cancel appointments with him too late when he's already driving, so he needs more advance notice (true). Yet he cancels appointments with me 80% more often than I do! He has become unreliable at this point. And we have yet to even have a date. Advice?
You're both unreliable and need a good kicking------ This thread is Archived ------
Taralyn: If he has already complained about you and is not living up to his part of the deal, you won't be taken seriously when you complain, unfortunately. You may be seen as someone who is trying to "get back" at the man. If a union is also involved, you will have an even harder time dealing with any issues concerning the man.
If you can, get rid of him now - asap - and save yourself a lot of trouble down the road.
If you can, get rid of him now - asap - and save yourself a lot of trouble down the road.
------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: Both professional and personal. He is working in my home with my disabled son. He works through an agency.
But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
I think it’s irresponsible of you to have your phone turned off when he tries to contact you on a professional level , seen as you have a disabled son in his care . But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
What if there was an emergency regarding your son ??
------ This thread is Archived ------
Seems this guy has a way of ruffling your (single) feather.
Given he chickens out 80% more than you do, a walk in the park and dinner ain't gonna happen any time soon... just sayin'...
ps: if he sparks your interest, change your bait, consider grains and corn
Given he chickens out 80% more than you do, a walk in the park and dinner ain't gonna happen any time soon... just sayin'...
ps: if he sparks your interest, change your bait, consider grains and corn
------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: A man I'm working with is showing interest in me. He wants to take a walk in the park with me and he also wants to cook me dinner. I usually have my smart phone off and when he tries to call me, he doesn't leave a message, then he complains that I don't answer my phone. He even complained to the agency that I'm not answering my phone and that I cancel appointments with him too late when he's already driving, so he needs more advance notice (true). Yet he cancels appointments with me 80% more often than I do! He has become unreliable at this point. And we have yet to even have a date. Advice?
I see so much wrong with want you wrote. But the main thing is you admit to not giving adequate notice but then complain that he complained to the agency, and then try to lesson what you did by saying he does it 80% more to you. I personally don't believe he cancels appointments with you.I think you are the problem and I hope this guy realizes it and moves on to someone who is more responsible and actually wants a relationship and knows how to show it.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Bnaughty: You're both unreliable and need a good kicking
Well I suppose you could say that after biting your carer
------ This thread is Archived ------
bigjb62: I see so much wrong with want you wrote. But the main thing is you admit to not giving adequate notice but then complain that he complained to the agency, and then try to lesson what you did by saying he does it 80% more to you. I personally don't believe he cancels appointments with you.
I think you are the problem and I hope this guy realizes it and moves on to someone who is more responsible and actually wants a relationship and knows how to show it.
I agree, it maybe she wants a relationship, and he doesn't, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.I think you are the problem and I hope this guy realizes it and moves on to someone who is more responsible and actually wants a relationship and knows how to show it.
I suggest you put your squabbles aside for the sake of your disabled child.
------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: A man I'm working with is showing interest in me. He wants to take a walk in the park with me and he also wants to cook me dinner. I usually have my smart phone off and when he tries to call me, he doesn't leave a message, then he complains that I don't answer my phone. He even complained to the agency that I'm not answering my phone and that I cancel appointments with him too late when he's already driving, so he needs more advance notice (true). Yet he cancels appointments with me 80% more often than I do! He has become unreliable at this point. And we have yet to even have a date. Advice?
Ask yourself whether you want to date him or not. Then act with regards to the answer.------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: Both professional and personal. He is working in my home with my disabled son. He works through an agency.
But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
It is exponentially off- limits. Conflict of interest. You cannot develop a personal relationship with him. If unavoidable, you must dismiss him as an employee. You should know this. Completely unprofessional. I am NOT judging you. This sort of thing happens— we can’t always control life, but we can MANAGE it. Sort it— if it continues in the status quo, you are courting disaster. But he is clearly interested in getting to know me better on a personal level.
I'm mainly smarting because he complained to the agency about me canceling appointments with out advance notice. Doesn't a man who is personally interested in a woman want to make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her? Shouldn't he say something to me if he wants me to give enough notice? Rather than the agency? Or am I over reacting??
------ This thread is Archived ------
serene56: So he's actually a disability support worker.
I'd suggest you draw a line in the sand and get some boundaries in place.
This man is paid to care for your son; if you wish to pursue a relationship with him it has nothing to do with the agency.
However I suspect this would be fraught with difficulties and suggest you consider whether this man is useful in terms of supporting your son.
If so, make it clear that this is where it begins and ends.
She should not. Off- limits.I'd suggest you draw a line in the sand and get some boundaries in place.
This man is paid to care for your son; if you wish to pursue a relationship with him it has nothing to do with the agency.
However I suspect this would be fraught with difficulties and suggest you consider whether this man is useful in terms of supporting your son.
If so, make it clear that this is where it begins and ends.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Tulefell: Ask yourself whether you want to date him or not. Then act with regards to the answer.
She must dismiss him as an employee.------ This thread is Archived ------
SingleFeather: Yeah, it is difficult to mix a professional relationship with a personal one. Might be best for me to keep him at a friendship level for now. He is also underperforming by not being very reliable. Which causes me to not really see him in a more positive light.
You have put yourself in an extremely compromising position posting this, with your photo and town you live in. Not wise. If state services pick up on this, what will you be able to say? Good heavens, lady. Unbelievable. ( I worked in medicine and social work for over 30 years. I know what I’m talking about.)------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
Are the ads on here as phony as some of the profiles?
beauty of the heart
Ladies
I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
The weird and the random facts around the world
Why is this shameful?
wanting beyond need
the way you look
your favorite topic?
Unions support Democrats!
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
2,699 Views
67 Comments
Created: Nov 2020
Last Viewed: Apr 27
Last Commented: Dec 2020
28 Likes
Last Liked: Dec 2020
4 DisAgrees
Last DisAgreed: Nov 2020