Last Viewed Humor Poems (1,865)

Lost

Two weeks lost in our new city....

Adventures in Plumbing

What I've been fighting the last several days...

Without Salt

You look good enough to eat If indeed we ever meet, You will surely feel the heat, When our souls collide My sweet

I CAN'T REMEMBER -- author unknown

I'm 70years old, I read this poem for the first time when I was about 8, my mother had got it from a friend at work.

Leap to freedom.

(The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog) This piece is about the sentence that typists learn, to gain mastery of the keyboard, and enhance speed. I wanted to try to turn it into a poem without mentioning any of the words in the sentence directly, but to try to convey the meaning in a lighthearted way.

Last night I dreamed that I died!

THAT BOOK YOU STOLE

Found in 1924 Algebras text book. Author unknown.

I can hide in a box

I can hide in a box just like a fox I can dig a hole just like a mole I can climb a tree just like a monkey I can run a mile And still have a smile I can jump high, can you just like a kangaroo I can sing a song but my tune is all wrong

WORDPLAY

If from sleep I awaken I'm alive If I never wake up again I'm dead - which however I cannot experience I think this is unfair and to offer Death its fair share of existence I now rename ‘Life’ ‘Death’ At last I can enjoy the '

ME PLURRY ORANGE SOCKS.

Have you ever been to Orange in the middle of Winter ? All you need is some warm clothes & a Toddy. The locals don't seem to mind the Winter but the travellers certainly feel it. It certainly was an eye opener for this visitor and I have never forgotten the warm hospitality....Maymyo.

WOLVES, WOLVES, WOLVES

I always found Werewolfs kinda sexy but dangerous of course.

Fish guts

Drunken bloody puke up Over the side Someone yells he’s burlin’ up On this bloody boat ride Who organized the pecks paste sangers On this fishing trip Along with all this alcohol Sh*t I think I’m getting ripped This dodgy food and drinking A

Jim

An accident happened to my brother Jim When somebody threw a tomatoe at him Tomatoes are soft and usually don't hurt the skin But this one a 'specially packed in a tin! :-)

The Last Thing

Like fingernails scratching across the blackboard, that is how your voice sounds to me. You have the face of an angel and soft billowy breasts, narrow waist and curvaceous hips. I try to concentrate on these, almost succeed, then you speak again.

halloween

halloween is a very scary day great for the children to get scared

The Wish List

I sat down with my nephews once. We decided to have some fun, the list was actually 10 pages long and more kept on going. I had to live out some to make it short, kids today have strange ideas and their thinking is quite unique. I was embraced by them, it made me feel younger again and proud to be their uncle. Have fun.. let the list continue.

no driver

Into the taxi you climb Destination a voice is spoken Destination given Naught to sixty in ten seconds You sit an ponder Watchin the view Clenched buttocks You sit and smile You trust the driver with gritted teeth Hand clench ed Y

Let's all laugh

Laugh first laugh last as long as we can laugh there is nothing wrong with a good laugh I laugh to I begin to cry I laugh because I'm full of joy that same laughter might make me past gas have to be easy when I laugh don't want to past gas but

halloween

all about halloween

How I came to write poetry

Lol or what?

poem

complaining about poem

Someone, Anyone, No One......

It is really quite amusing.... Joining these online social dating sites In the hope of finding someone.... Nothing happens for someone just won't be found, Then we start looking for anyone..... But anyone isn't really around.... Then we slowly

Reality beckons!

I won't respond if you say this or that, I won't be available for nonsense chat, I won't accept text or anything next, I won't reply if I think you lie, I won't be here to communicate, I won't, I won't...this is so......why am I alone?....I just

Vertical

Well! nuff said anti haiku

Of Poetry in the "First Person".

"I" hope the "fun police" never confiscate my "poetic license!"

Paul Hollywood

Just a bit of fun, a poem about my celeb crush lol

Southern Signs

Just a bit of Southern humor.

Laughed..I Cried :)

Had such a laugh tonight, soooooo funny !!

Are You Willing?

Wrote this one 4-7-94. A real off the wall poem instead of a usual song, but when you look back almost 30 years later, you wonder what the Hell was I thinking or doing at the time when I wrote this! lol Until then...

The Coyote and The Cowboy (Limerick)

Cowboy Limerick. :)

Cliche'

A "mini-rant."

Prank Videos I've Watched

I've been spending a lot of my time on the internet watching various prank videos. The fake eggs is my favorite.

Drink it all away

Lil song I wrote...

Stop Stealing My Sun

For all you good folks 'down under' the equator :)

Old White Tail

Just a bit of humour ... try to imagine it to the tune of some old sad country song

Music

I love music and I love car's but the rhythm's carry me far out past the stars The sounds fill me deeply deep to my core I can listen all day then listen some more The engine of music is throbbing with life To make beautiful music is t

!don!t>put>God>on>!hold!

~>she~>has~a~*sence*~of~^hu^mor^~ ~>ya~>no~> !_how_ev_er_> =i=>wouldn!t=>push=it!

If Violets were Red

I've always pondered the great mysteries - one of which is: "if violets were red, and roses blue"

missed kiss

senryu (5-7-5) not half haiku

My big toes got a mouth on it

not a lot to say i do

"YOU'LL DINE AGAIN!"

You can be the king of the rock, there’s no race to the top. In the game of hide and seek, I’ll find your Gräfenberg spot. Your gratification will be expressed in every tremble I’ll take pleasure in making that cookie crumble. Lick it, sip it whe