Wonderful blog, Catfoot. Relationships that work are the ones where both partners accept their responsibilities towards each other and to themselves, understand that compromises will have to be made, that communication is sometimes about walking away before hurtful words are spoken and that neither should ever go to bed with anger hanging between them. It isn't about one or the other - it's about both. As the saying goes, there's no "i" in team.
Konnichiwa, elegsabiff-san. Has anyone ever read the novel Shogun by James Clavell? It was set in feudal Japan and was hard to put that book down. Same with Noble House and Taipan which were set in Hong Kong.
Perhaps your partner feels that your compliments are delivered from a sense of obligation to do/say the right thing rather than being sincerely appreciative? Most people pick up on that quite easily. Regarding your needs....perhaps she's being sincere in her own way.
I think marriage and the love that accompanies it share the same committment.
There are some people who "know" at the first meeting that this person will be their life mate. For the majority of us (myself included), there's a lot of trial and error before we meet the person we want to spend the rest of our life with. Then there are some of us who prefer to have many short-term relationships as we are not looking for a permanent long-term relationship for whatever reason.
Love seems to have many definitions as it means different things to people.
For sure it is better to have loved and been loved than not. We feel sad and disheartened when a relationship ends, but I don't think it's a "loss" because the experience has added to our growth as a man or woman and as a human being - although we may not see that at the time. Life teaches us many lessons.
Hello Socrates ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all’. Some relationships are not based on real love. They’re more chemistry than love. Perhaps those are the relationships that created this saying? Most people experience those types of relationships and they are important because they help us to become more discerning about our own emotions, needs, tolerances, etc. Some relationships start out as chemistry and grow into real love relationships. Relationships that last are the ones with people who understand what love is – a commitment. You share the good times and struggle through the difficult times together. My marriage was like that and I have many, many wonderful memories of our 26 years together. I lost my husband but I didn’t lose at love.
I've been on here for several months and also have noticed that some people feel the need to advertise their departure with a long sad story and then are back within a few days. In between the going and returning, they're busy posting away on another site which is their prerogative. It does seem like attention seeking, but it's difficult to take their future blogs seriously. There's something to be said for leaving and returning quietly.
I agree that, unless you've spent real time together, calling it real love is a bit questionable. On the other hand, the happiness you feel for as long as it lasts is still worth something. A lot of us spend so much time planning, hoping and wishing that we miss what's happening now. You never know where something might lead...as long as you're prepared for a dose of reality in case it doesn't work out as hoped.
I love winter! Even walking to work in -40C weather. Doesn't mean I'm not glad to find myself indoors at the end of a day's skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing, skating, etc., just that being outdoors in the winter leaves me feeling exhilarated unlike being outdoors in the summer which often leaves me feeling dragged out. The more you're outside in the winter, the better for you. Yep, I love winter.
"If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism." Post by Premnidhi
Rather surprised by your comment. Surely you understand that there are different types of love. Loving one person exclusively does not make a person indifferent to all others. Rather, it opens the heart and mind to loving and accepting others.
How interesting that you choose to post on others' blogs yet lock your blogs to other people's comments. Perhaps you haven't yet accepted some of the philosophies you expound at such great lengths or perhaps you aren't able yet to open your heart to hear the opinions of others. Enlightenment is there for all of us if we choose to truly look and then accept.
You've answered your question. Besides, if you're close with your family, you should stay. Airfare from Canada is very expensive and, in some cities, so is the cost of living. It's always a good idea to visit first before you decide to move. You might not like winter!! Best wishes to you.
and, just as importantly, having a future is difficult if we dwell on the past. Live now and always look forward because that's where we're going....at least that's the idea, eh!
LucyMaud Blog Comments (657)
RE: Still waiting?
Yes, of course, Catfoot.